Resource I interacted with an attractive woman and started crying @ work

[BeansOfRequirement]

Usually only have to deal with old (and/or unattractive) women and other men at work. Lately fate decided to fuck with me and I ended up having to (not really, but I'll get to that) exchange a sentence or two with, first, a cute but not super attractive woman (bad enough); and then this time around they somehow spawned in a very attractive woman with whom I spoke. I am convinced that I basically have two paths in life: suicide (99% probability of this being the one that's actualized) and somefuckinghow getting a girlfriend (1% prob, if I'm being optimistic). I've argued this stance before and probably will not do it again, unless you actually have a great argument that I missed during years of thinking about this. I suppose you could also throw in going hard with the meditation as a third option, since I have had some great results with that in the past, this would in theory make it so that I no longer felt the need for a girlfriend (or maybe could relate to the need without suffering, etc). I guess I should also leave some room for unexpected things like suddenly getting extremely interested in a hobby/field of study/whatever, but I deem it very unlikely.

Don't feel like repeating my life circumstances again, so basically I am a stereotypical man-child that's autistic, a virgin, lives in mom's basement, etc. This makes it virtually impossible to get a gf from online dating or to ask someone out/cold-approach or whatever. I can in all likelihood also not engage in casual sex, since I can't really feel my dick when I jerk off, it might also be too curved. Think I'd need months of nofap and/or literal medical treatment to have a chance at sexual function aside from anhedonically masturbating in the basement. So, I'd most likely need a real long-term thing first, not focused on any sex.

So, I'm obviously not going to be hitting on anyone. This means I'd basically have to play the numbers (which I can't, since I virtually never meet anyone) and hope that someone gets very attracted to me somehow, and that'd have to be an even more unlikely thing since I can't go through the friend circle/party thing (no friends, ofc). Repeating myself here, but I have had this happen before and have ended up rejecting all advances, despite being extremely interested back. This was, which goes without saying, before I ended up a "man-child" or whatever. Pure mental illness, I can't really explain this behavior. Meaning, if I somehow got another chance (again, at most 1% over the rest of my lifespan, guesstimate) I'd most likely do it again unless I really forced myself not to. It might actually already have happened once this year, but the situation was weird and I didn't get any clear verbal information. I also have an extreme bias to interpret anything and everything as a possible IOI, for obvious reasons. So, there's that to deal with as well.

So, in both cases with the cute wymyn I actually did start a short and professional convo (this was more like not avoiding socializing as I would normally, rather than looking for an excuse to talk). First one was very nice, but didn't start asking if I was single or something (no, I'm not expecting that, but this is probably literally what has to happen for me not to kill myself eventually). Second one was a little more in a hurry, but I happened across two interactions in short order due to chance, during the second one I seem to have displayed faulty thinking as I was trying to throw an extra sentence in (not that it'd matter). Anyway, it was clear throughout the short interactions that she wasn't going to, after a very short exchange, with no displayed intention from my part at all, and without us knowing each other's names or anything, ask me out on a date or something (and, btw, if she asks for social media I don't have it)--*surprise Pikachu face*. So I then started crying a lot and experienced a series of my very frequent lil breakdowns, thankfully this is possible (at least I think so, I'll find out) during work for me.


Just a lil story for the two people who'll recognize me on here nowadays. Btw, I'm open to more rap ideas. I've been trying to get another one going but the rhymes aren't flowing. Dick all red, imma hit the bed. Dick all dry, imma cry.

 

[Un-]

It sounds like how I used to be like. I know how "ugh" that sounds, but I know where you're coming from.

I wish I had advice to give you or something. I don't. I'm not good with women. And I'm less good with just ordinary people.. I haven't had an in-person conversation with someone outside my family in months now.

I just want to say that, in exchange for all the laughs you've given me @GenesAndEnvironment, I'm here for you. This whole thing hurts a lot.

And in my experience.. It hurt so bad, that I learned to turn off that part of my brain that lusts for people.. I refuse to be attracted to someone.. It hurts. It hurts horribly, but someone with your character will win eventually. I can tell you that.

I've seen ugly mother fuckers - 5 foot 4, collects mental illnesses like infinity stones, not intelligent - find a partner. I don't know what it is, but I do know that there's a chance for you, friend.

 

[whatevs]

How old are you? I'm a 31 yo incel myself.

 

[come to dust]

Yeah I was wondering how old you are as well. Also the fact that women show advances to you is a good sign. I'm a gay man but gay men never hit on me, so even if I sort out my ability to have sex there's no hope

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It sounds like how I used to be like. I know how "ugh" that sounds, but I know where you're coming from.

I wish I had advice to give you or something. I don't. I'm not good with women. And I'm less good with just ordinary people.. I haven't had an in-person conversation with someone outside my family in months now.

I just want to say that, in exchange for all the laughs you've given me @GenesAndEnvironment, I'm here for you. This whole thing hurts a lot.

And in my experience.. It hurt so bad, that I learned to turn off that part of my brain that lusts for people.. I refuse to be attracted to someone.. It hurts. It hurts horribly, but someone with your character will win eventually. I can tell you that.

I've seen ugly mother fuckers - 5 foot 4, collects mental illnesses like infinity stones, not intelligent - find a partner. I don't know what it is, but I do know that there's a chance for you, friend.

Thanks for remembering when I was funny on here. I'm still trying to stay a little jocular from time to time, but the inspiration just isn't there like when I was more actively suicidal (remember that thread where the guy caught me practicing partial in the woods?).

How old are you? I'm a 31 yo incel myself.

Yeah I was wondering how old you are as well. Also the fact that women show advances to you is a good sign. I'm a gay man but gay men never hit on me, so even if I sort out my ability to have sex there's no hope

Mid-twenties. Think I'm pretty repulsive nowadays, every time I look at a woman on the street they look down and are basically traumatized by it (this makes me try my hardest to never look at them). It could be because my facial expression says I'm about to tell someone they have cancer, go shoot up a school, and ask for a diaper change at the same time.

 

[Rocinante]

It's over. I wrote something similar on looksmax.org

Cute Curry girl that works near me has me wanting to rope

Was at the gas station today and the cute Curry girl was working there again. Never before have I ever felt so in love with someone. She’s cute and near my age too(I assume she’s slightly older by looks). Ffs I had to quit my routine of drinking two monsters every morning. Not only is it...

looksmax.org

"

How old are you? I'm a 31 yo incel myself.

PSL?

 

[come to dust]

Thanks for remembering when I was funny on here. I'm still trying to stay a little jocular from time to time, but the inspiration just isn't there like when I was more actively suicidal (remember that thread where the guy caught me practicing partial in the woods?).


Mid-twenties. Think I'm pretty repulsive nowadays, every time I look at a woman on the street they look down and are basically traumatized by it (this makes me try my hardest to never look at them). It could be because my facial expression says I'm about to tell someone they have cancer, go shoot up a school, and ask for a diaper change at the same time.

Facial expressions can be changed. My problem is unchangeable, bad facial structure and bones.

 

[whatevs]

It sounds exaggerated that women would react like that to you, they probably just don't care tbh.

Basically for women it seems you need to have confidence as cliché as it sounds. Not just because you are more appealing but because a confident man will try with 25 and one will say yes. An insecure man will seldom try and get horribly dejected with one failure.

I've always been more concerned with having no energy and no friends than with being a virgin or not having a couple. But I'll admit that having a relationship helps considerably, I just don't think "twf no gf" is the root of an incel's problem, it's social isolation/alienation.

It's over. I wrote something similar on looksmax.org

Cute Curry girl that works near me has me wanting to rope

Was at the gas station today and the cute Curry girl was working there again. Never before have I ever felt so in love with someone. She’s cute and near my age too(I assume she’s slightly older by looks). Ffs I had to quit my routine of drinking two monsters every morning. Not only is it...

looksmax.org

"


PSL?

The hell is PSL? Some idiotic lookist acronym I guess. I'm good looking for what is worth. I'm just chronically tired, insecure and have opposed views to the majority in subjects like obedience to authority or how respectable/authentic the current governance process is.

 

[Rocinante]

It sounds exaggerated that women would react like that to you, they probably just don't care tbh.

Basically for women it seems you need to have confidence as cliché as it sounds. Not just because you are more appealing but because a confident man will try with 25 and one will say yes. An insecure man will seldom try and get horribly dejected with one failure.

Numbers game.

I've always been more concerned with having no energy and no friends than with being a virgin or not having a couple. But I'll admit that having a relationship helps considerably, I just don't think "twf no gf" is the root of an incel's problem, it's social isolation/alienation.


The hell is PSL? Some idiotic lookist acronym I guess. I'm good looking for what is worth. I'm just chronically tired, insecure and have opposed views to the majority in subjects like obedience to authority or how respectable/authentic the current governance process is.

PSL is like decile but goes to 8. Every point of PSL = 1.25 on decile.
I was given 5-5.5(overrate) on .org, for example. With potential to be 6 or more with surgery.
How can be idiotic when it's the most objective rating system? Even reddit rating subs have picked up on it.

Our problem is different. You are good looking. I will never be PSL 8, as it's nigh impossible to achieve. Most were born that way. E.g. O'Pry, Ramirez, Drago, Gandy, Hexum, and Cavill.


David Gandy mogs so hard in this. Life is brutal as sub Gandy male.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It's over.

Based.

My problem is unchangeable, bad facial structure and bones.

Sure it's that simple?

It sounds exaggerated that women would react like that to you, they probably just don't care tbh.

I oversimplified too heavily there, not much more I can do unless I want to write pages about this stuff.

Basically for women it seems you need to have confidence as cliché as it sounds. Not just because you are more appealing but because a confident man will try with 25 and one will say yes. An insecure man will seldom try and get horribly dejected with one failure.

Sure, but the confidence has to come from somewhere. And that somewhere is far away from me, think I wrote that in the OP.

I've always been more concerned with having no energy and no friends than with being a virgin or not having a couple. But I'll admit that having a relationship helps considerably, I just don't think "twf no gf" is the root of an incel's problem, it's social isolation/alienation.

Guess we're opposites, then. I've never felt much need for friends, but the no gf thing has fucked me up for 7 or 8 years now. I've seen several guys online similar to myself just instantly recover when they got a gf, I doubt the same thing would happen if they hung out with some dudes. Fuck, I've actually hung out with people during this time and I just don't get anything out of those social things. Getting a job also did absolutely nothing. Tbf, I suppose there are some "deeper levels" of friendship or whatever, but I just don't think I can go there with another man. I've had friendships back in school, usually bff type things with another bro (so probably as intense of a friendship as you could have), but I still just don't get attached. I've never missed anyone from those days, same with family members.

I think people are generally speaking good at identifying what they need, especially when it's something this basic.

We could divide the needs a bit, then some things the gf would provide could be substituted by people in general. To me, those would be almost completely unimportant (at least compared to the, in relation to this completely deprived state, extreme effects of having a gf). Also, bringing in other needs might not even be relevant here, even if they intertwine. And, sure, most people actually have social needs (that I don't think I really have to the same extent). That's why they like partying or hanging out with friends, working in groups, etc. I'd only do those things hoping I'd increase my chances of getting a gf by doing so.

Don't feel like writing pages about this, so forgive deez oversimplifications. Not necessarily looking for a long back-and-forth, since I've written about this so many times on here and it feels tiring to repeat myself to this extent.

 

[Maudlin]

Wow. Judging from the novel you wrote it seems ridiculous to think that you, of all people, would not be able to come up with something to say... but crying? Really?

I guess it could work. You're either gonna get an extremely empathetic cutie (not bloody likely) or a sadistic bitch that will dominate the hell outta you (might be fun) with that approach... but every woman that exists between those two extremes? Yeah... Not Gonna Make It. lol

Perhaps, next time, just mention a cup of coffee and suggest she wants to join you for one, as well. ;)

Good luck, friend.

 

[Himalayan]

Honestly. Killing yourself over sexual relationship, is pretty meh. This drama created around being an incel is trash.
Sorry if this offends anybody, but i am a virgin myself and i refuse to even have this thought in my head. You can warn me.

 

[whatevs]

Honestly. Killing yourself over sexual relationship, is pretty meh. This drama created around being an incel is trash.
Sorry if this offends anybody, but i am a virgin myself and i refuse to even have this thought in my head. You can warn me.

Yep, I understand there's a deep pain associated with chronic virginity and/or inability to mate as the incel murderous rampages attest to but I can't help but think that these people are caught up in the most animalistic levels of existence. Humans can and have overcome their base instincts to pursue grander things.

Personally my social alienation and chronic illness are what haunts me, I've never identified fully with incels but I like their edgy takes on women as it really seems that in the modern West young women are easily having 2x the ease of access to sexual relationships than men. The lookist stuff has always been obstuse and false, in reality looks rank lower than personality and particularly status. Going more into detail, the younger the women the more looks trump personality but it's always important, status is always at the top, that's popularity, wealth or fame.

Inceldom is painful as I know fully myself but I speak from experience that when you have a group of IRL friends and some physical and mental health or an OK job where you socialize the opportunities arise. Even if you disregard my arguments about fucking/romance being something that can subtituted with other aspects of human existence I'm telling you that to get what you want (women), you need to get involved with a profession and with male/female friends.

@GenesAndEnvironment in terms of confidence socializing in a way where you are appreciated and having a job you feel good at are obvious candidates for acquiring that.

@Prog You are above average but kind of short, that's it. Your mental illness is the actual reason why you are on a suicide forum. Nobody that has a resemblance to Tom Cruise is average in looks.

Your ties to lookist and incel sub-cultures are toxic to your psyche, but you are too young and stupid to realize. Think it over and cut ties with these people and these ideas, they are hurting you.

The only merit I see to lookism is how most hot men find easier to develop appealing assertive personalities as confidence is readily attained with little effort for them, and getting status is also easier because of the Halo Effect, but if you are average or ugly and you get confidence and status without that advantage you'll get women either way.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Perhaps, next time, just mention a cup of coffee and suggest she wants to join you for one, as well. ;)

The chances of success are very low and I'd rather not jeopardize this job more than I already am (don't think I'll get another one after this). I'd prefer at least to know someone's name and have received a possible indicator of interest before asking someone out. I've also literally never asked anyone out except for once or twice when I was taking pills and was basically nuts in general, and those were literally 100% cold-approaches without even being attracted to the wymyn.

I'm telling you that to get what you want (women), you need to get involved with a profession and with male/female friends.

Can't do the profession thing (tried several times to get through an education, basically can't handle being around normal, especially young, people), might be able to theoretically make friends somehow but it's not likely at all. Basically I'll have to get really lucky, so I'm circling back to what I wrote in the OP.

Wow. Judging from the novel you wrote it seems ridiculous to think that you, of all people, would not be able to come up with something to say... but crying? Really?

I'm autistic and on top of that don't get much of any socializing in, I'm better at communicating in writing since I've done that on this forum and can also take as much time as I want to express things.

Yeah... Not Gonna Make It. lol

Very funny.

Honestly. Killing yourself over sexual relationship, is pretty meh. This drama created around being an incel is trash.

I'm not suicidal because of drama online about inceldom, I feel an unmet basic need that started wreaking havoc way before I heard the term "incel". I'm sorry to hear that you feel that it's "meh".

but i am a virgin myself and i refuse to even have this thought in my head

Not really a thought, imo. But it's good that you and most other ppl don't have to deal with anything of this kind.

 

[Himalayan]

Yep, I understand there's a deep pain associated with chronic virginity and/or inability to mate as the incel murderous rampages attest to but I can't help but think that these people are caught up in the most animalistic levels of existence. Humans can and have overcome their base instincts to pursue grander things.

Personally my social alienation and chronic illness are what haunts me, I've never identified fully with incels but I like their edgy takes on women as it really seems that in the modern West young women are easily having 2x the ease of access to sexual relationships than men. The lookist stuff has always been obstuse and false, in reality looks rank lower than personality and particularly status. Going more into detail, the younger the women the more looks trump personality but it's always important, status is always at the top, that's popularity, wealth or fame.

Inceldom is painful as I know fully myself but I speak from experience that when you have a group of IRL friends and some physical and mental health or an OK job where you socialize the opportunities arise. Even if you disregard my arguments about fucking/romance being something that can subtituted with other aspects of human existence I'm telling you that to get what you want (women), you need to get involved with a profession and with male/female friends.

@GenesAndEnvironment in terms of confidence socializing in a way where you are appreciated and having a job you feel good at are obvious candidates for acquiring that.

@Prog You are above average but kind of short, that's it. Your mental illness is the actual reason why you are on a suicide forum. Nobody that has a resemblance to Tom Cruise is average in looks.

Your ties to lookist and incel sub-cultures are toxic to your psyche, but you are too young and stupid to realize. Think it over and cut ties with these people and these ideas, they are hurting you.

The only merit I see to lookism is how most hot men find easier to develop appealing assertive personalities as confidence is readily attained with little effort for them, and getting status is also easier because of the Halo Effect, but if you are average or ugly and you get confidence and status without that advantage you'll get women either way.

I get you, alienation and fear is what I think that has fucked me too. I got rid of the fear, and sometimes, during brief seconds, i start thinking i can endure even hell, like pro lifers try to push. I don't have much hope for the future, but i will see if i can fix my mistakes and the shitty hand i was dealt whit...

 

[whatevs]

Oh yeah, without a social life, no job and not amazing looks it's looking grim for you in terms of dating. The older you get the less looks will matter, also.

 

[Maudlin]

The chances of success are very low and I'd rather not jeopardize this job more than I already am (don't think I'll get another one after this). I'd prefer at least to know someone's name and have received a possible indicator of interest before asking someone out.

You have no way to calculate your odds of success. The woman is a complete unknown... a cipher. She just happens to represent 50% of the equation. All you can do is control the 50% you represent, and gauge your chances as you go. Also, referencing a joint coffee excursion with someone isn't exactly a "date".... and whether or not it will jeopardize your job is entirely dependent on what you say or do during that coffee excursion.

DO ask her name in the midst of the small-talk... and if things go well, get her number and a commitment to whatever sounds fun to the pair of you.

DON'T knock her out and drag her back to your cave by her hair.

Don't look for "indicators of interest". Chances are, you don't know what they even are (again, the woman is completely unknown to you).

She could be shy and naive, throwing out every signal she can think of to show interest... obvious to anybody who knows her... but you, unknowing and in your fragile (whatever I do, don't cry! don't cry! don't cry!) mind state will miss all of them. You'll know when you say" "man, I could use a cup of coffee. You like coffee? Let's go get one." And she says: "yes".

Now, you've narrowed down the odds. She could be a chronic coffee freeloader, or she could be showing interest. Use your powers of conversation to separate the wheat from the chaff, at that point. Don't mention the basement, or your Mother. Not that it should matter too much... in this economy, it's likely a lot more common than you think.

Good luck, friend.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

You have no way to calculate your odds of success. The woman is a complete unknown... a cipher. She just happens to represent 50% of the equation. All you can do is control the 50% you represent, and gauge your chances as you go. Also, referencing a joint coffee excursion with someone isn't exactly a "date".... and whether or not it will jeopardize your job is entirely dependent on what you say or do during that coffee excursion.

DO ask her name in the midst of the small-talk... and if things go well, get her number and a commitment to whatever sounds fun to the pair of you.

DON'T knock her out and drag her back to your cave by her hair.

Don't look for "indicators of interest". Chances are, you don't know what they even are (again, the woman is completely unknown to you).

She could be shy and naive, throwing out every signal she can think of to show interest... obvious to anybody who knows her... but you, unknowing and in your fragile (whatever I do, don't cry! don't cry! don't cry!) mind state will miss all of them. You'll know when you say" "man, I could use a cup of coffee. You like coffee? Let's go get one." And she says: "yes".

Now, you've narrowed down the odds. She could be a chronic coffee freeloader, or she could be showing interest. Use your powers of conversation to separate the wheat from the chaff, at that point. Don't mention the basement, or your Mother. Not that it should matter too much... in this economy, it's likely a lot more common than you think.

Good luck, friend.

Suicide sounds possibly less scary than doing this, no way I could go for this direct of an approach in a work setting. And how can you be sure it wouldn't risk my job? All she has to do is mention it to a coworker and I could be back to full-time NEETing within the hour. So, you honestly think it's a good idea to do this without any reason at all to suspect she's into me, and without even knowing if she has a bf/gf or not? I also got the impression that she might have thought I was weird and stupid. Not that it matters much in this particular case, don't think I'll see her again thankfully. But just in general.

 

[Maudlin]

Suicide sounds possibly less scary than doing this, no way I could go for this direct of an approach in a work setting. And how can you be sure it wouldn't risk my job? All she has to do is mention it to a coworker and I could be back to full-time NEETing within the hour. So, you honestly think it's a good idea to do this without any reason at all to suspect she's into me, and without even knowing if she has a bf/gf or not? I also got the impression that she might have thought I was weird and stupid. Not that it matters much in this particular case, don't think I'll see her again thankfully. But just in general.

All you'd be investing is a cup of coffee.

Last I checked, asking someone if they wanna join you for a cup of coffee (whatever their sex, "gender" or general proclivities) is still just a cup of coffee. Not "harassment", not "phobia", not a "date", not "misogyny"... it's just a cup of coffee.

Like I said, DON'T knock her out and drag her back to your cave by her hair... you'd be fine.

That's just how it works, man. You find out all that other stuff about boyfriends/girlfriends, who she is and what she likes over a cup of coffee. If she's mormon, do hot chocolate, instead. lol

A little wit, a few compliments, and a general easygoing nature and you'll be fine. Worst case, you end up with a friend who tries to hit you up for coffee way too often, best case... your wrinkled, old ass gazes into her wrinkled old-ass eyes on your deathbed.

Trust me, if she's not interested she'll just say "no". lol

Then you just try another one. There's millions of them, you know. ;)

I also got the impression that she might have thought I was weird and stupid.

You cried. Of course she thought that.

A sadistic bitch would've thought "SCORE!!!", an empathetic cutie would have thought "awww, poor dude!"

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

You cried. Of course she thought that.

A sadistic bitch would've thought "SCORE!!!", an empathetic cutie would have thought "awww, poor dude!"

I didn't start crying until she left. Wasn't even sad during the interaction... well not sadder than usual, which I admit isn't saying much.

A little wit, a few compliments, and a general easygoing nature and you'll be fine.

A tall order, to be sure. I can't have an easygoing nature as an autistic virgin who's never spoken to a (non-first-degree relative) woman alone before. The whole thing would come across as extremely serious, intense, and like my life is on the line (which it is).

Last I checked, asking someone if they wanna join you for a cup of coffee (whatever their sex, "gender" or general proclivities) is still just a cup of coffee. Not "harassment", not "phobia", not a "date", not "misogyny"... it's just a cup of coffee.

I didn't mean that I'd break the law or company policy or something, I meant that I'm on thin ice already just by being myself so I don't need any extra heat.

 

[Maudlin]

I didn't mean that I'd break the law or company policy or something, I meant that I'm on thin ice already just by being myself so I don't need any extra heat.

Fuck. That's got to suck.

A tall order, to be sure. I can't have an easygoing nature as an autistic virgin who's never spoken to a (non-first-degree relative) woman alone before. The whole thing would come across as extremely serious, intense, and like my life is on the line (which it is).

Pretend like you're talking to your Mom or your sister or something- And joking around. Trying to make your Mom laugh, or just smile. I'm sure you can do that, yeah?

I didn't start crying until she left. Wasn't even sad during the interaction... well not sadder than usual, which I admit isn't saying much.

lol.
Well... that's a bonus, then. A successful interaction where you didn't blow it completely. You saved the "shatter" for when it didn't matter so much. Next time, just slip in the coffee question, knowing that you won't bawl your eyes out until well after the whole ordeal is over. lol

"A thousand miles" and "one step" and all that.
Seriously, though... which is more important... a job that hates you, or a companion with warm jumblies to nibble and play with? You were looking for a job when you got that one.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Genes fr keeping your job is more important than asking some woman out. You also can't really do it so soon, right off the bat. Without her having any real context of who you are, I'd say your chances are minimal.

I would instead use the job to cultivate better social skills on the whole and try to develop friendly relationships with women without asking anyone out. Fixating on getting a date is sort of putting the cart before the horse.

Hopefully you can improve your conversational skills through the job and become comfortable with seeking out potential dates elsewhere. Autism etc aside, the workplace isn't really an ideal stomping ground for courtship.

Look at it this way - getting work is difficult for you and it's a big achievement that you landed it. Try to see it as an education in people skills and take some of that newfound confidence into a different arena like a bar or something. Of course that's a tall order right now but if you can make a friend or two at work it shouldn't be a huge obstacle.

Good luck to you.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Genes fr keeping your job is more important than asking some woman out. You also can't really do it so soon, right off the bat. Without her having any real context of who you are, I'd say your chances are minimal.

I would instead use the job to cultivate better social skills on the whole and try to develop friendly relationships with women without asking anyone out. Fixating on getting a date is sort of putting the cart before the horse.

Reasonable, that's what I thought.

Hopefully you can improve your conversational skills through the job and become comfortable with seeking out potential dates elsewhere.

Not really, I'd have to get experience with women somehow. I don't have any problems socializing in a professional setting. Plus, the job isn't social at all and I don't even have breaks with coworkers or things like that. Basically just walk in, work, walk out. No real space to make friends or engage in small talk.

Try to see it as an education in people skills and take some of that newfound confidence into a different arena like a bar or something. Of course that's a tall order right now but if you can make a friend or two at work it shouldn't be a huge obstacle.

Even if I somehow got super confident from talking with people at work--which I can't really do--I don't see how that would make women turned on in the club when I walk up with a heart rate of 210 bpm and say I live in mom's basement and have never had sex.

Thanks for trying to help, appreciate.

 

[LastFlowers]

Absolutely awe-inspiring for old and/or unattractive women.
You heard it here folks, they aren't even a consideration, their presence means nothing, they're basically not women at all.
And if you're barely cute? Watch out. Apparently your existence will be sidelined next.
(But hey, at least people won't avoid socializing with you, even the anxious ones, because how could they do that to a cutie!?)

Idk what to say OP, you say you've got interest but rejected all advances..so what are you expecting?
A proposal right out the gates?

I've sympathized or agreed with some of your older posts as I know we have crossed paths several times, even for unrelated topics, but
there's some insidious implications in certain things you say, contradictions, and hypocrisy.
I have no interest romantically myself, but it doesn't mean I can't read between the lines.
Sorry for the other things you listed that you are dealing with though, as it seems you're still having trouble getting past them, despite asserting that you would like to.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Idk what to say OP, you say you've got interest but rejected all advances..so what are you expecting?
A proposal right out the gates?

That was before, over a decade ago. I don't know what would cause a twelve-year-old boy to reject the girl he was thinking about every day. You joke, but I believe that I'd actually need to have something very unlikely happen for me to get out of this.

there's some insidious implications in certain things you say, contradictions, and hypocrisy.

Of course, I'm human.

Sorry for the other things you listed that you are dealing with though, as it seems you're still having trouble getting past them, despite asserting that you would like to.

Thanks.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Absolutely awe-inspiring for old and/or unattractive women.
You heard it here folks, they aren't even a consideration, their presence means nothing, they're basically not women at all.
And if you're barely cute? Watch out. Apparently your existence will be sidelined next.
(But hey, at least people won't avoid socializing with you, even the anxious ones, because how could they do that to a cutie!?)

If I heard a guy that I was interested in speaking about the women at his job like that it would be a red flag for me.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If I heard a guy that I was interested in speaking about the women at his job like that it would be a red flag for me.

Could you explain why? Best would be if you could at some point tie the reasons to evolutionary biology. At that point you'd probably (correct me if I'm wrong) reach the conclusion that my/the speaker's genetic-environmental makeup is not up to your standards, meaning that you basically just did exactly what I did but in an indirect way, namely to deem someone unattractive.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Could you explain why? Best would be if you could at some point tie the reasons to evolutionary biology. At that point you'd probably (correct me if I'm wrong) reach the conclusion that my/the speaker's genetic-environmental makeup is not up to your standards, meaning that you basically just did exactly what I did but in an indirect way, namely to deem someone unattractive.

I think being physically attracted to a potential partner is important, but people don't stay that way forever. They get old, sometimes sick, and other shit can happen that change peoples attractiveness level. If I'm looking for a long term partner I don't want the guy who seems to barely consider older or lesser attractive women as people. Just NPCs in the game of life or whatever. Maybe the way you phrased the first couple sentences was weird, but that's the impression that I got.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I don't want the guy who seems to barely consider older or lesser attractive women as people.

Citation needed.

Absolutely awe-inspiring for old and/or unattractive women.

You forgot to mention men there. Apparently I don't see them as people, either.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Citation needed.

That's the vibe I got from your post. The way you phrased all of that was off-putting imo.

You forgot to mention men there. Apparently I don't see them as people, either.

I mean, kinda? Maybe "see as people" was a slight exaggeration, but you said in another post that you don't really value their friendships. Maybe if you practiced socializing with men and women that you're not attracted to, instead of just "having to deal" with them, you'd be better off.