Venting I hurt someone I love very much and the guilt is eating me

[computersrfun]

I don't know what to do or if he'll ever forgive me. I feel unfixable, broken, completely irredeemable. I wrote a long note to him expressing my most sincerest apologies and I will keep it in my pocket when I pass. I hope the police will give it to him if I address him by his full name. I am absolutely not doing this to guilt or hurt him further, there's a lot of reasons for my decision and a lot of them don't have to do with him at all, but... all the pains and stressors in my life are adding up and losing my best friend and the love of my life is my breaking point. I hope he can move on quickly and heal, and I can finally stop feeling pain for even just a second before death. I just want everything to be over. I'm so sorry Ian.

 

[Roseate]

I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm sure he will forgive you.