Venting I hurt people who love me.

[etrnllxid]

I'm so fucked it's crazy… I've been hurt so many times during the course of my life.. I've been exploited so often that trust issues are engrained into my body. Months ago I had someone tell me that I think to much, why can't I? I've been hurt by the ones closest to me and abandoned by those I trust so I must second guess everything. All of that shaped me into what I am I guess. When I was suffering the most I would lash out majorly and say things I didn't mean to people who cared but after they leave me alone, permanently. Guess I deserved it. I know why I am the way I am, but does that mean I'm running from accountability?

I can't even reciprocate love. I just shut myself off, guess I'm a scumbag. But I never wanted to hurt, I just didn't want to get hurt. there's much I want to say but I have no one to say it to so I'll say it here.

Someone help me CTB