Story I hope I can follow my dog soon

[DarkWolf]

I really miss her. It's been 2 months. Life feels surreal. It's like watching a bad movie. I feel disconnected and non existant.
I feel weird like I haven't even cried or thought about her much. But I carry and sleep next to her ashes and dog tag everywhere I go. Sometimes I feel this really deep pain for a brief while and think about her. But then nothing happens.
I hope she's in a better place. I don't believe in an afterlife but I like to think of her in one. I bet she's chasing rabbits around!
She's not my reason to ctb but was my reason for living. I started with thoughts of dying at 8 and i think getting her when i was 9 saved my soul. I don't think I would have even made it to an adult without her.
She was my light in the darkness.
My best friend when I had none.
My only true family member.
My kindness in a sad world.
A flicker of hope in a world of despair.
A reason to fight when I had none.
She's my connection in a world where I can't connect to anyone.
She listened to me when no one else will.
When I cried she came and the rest of the world left.
Everyone else ignored me and but she greeted me with enthusiasm every time until she got dementia.
The other kids thought I was a weirdo but she didn't mind at all. How I looked, what I did, if i was like a boy or Whether I could speak or not. If I was mute she didn't mind at all.
I was her shield I took the abuse aimed her when I was a child. I fought for her and tried to protect her. I didn't do a very good job but I tried my best. After i was kicked out at 16 i had to leave her behind. Eventually my mother kicked her out like she kicked me out and we could live together. We lived in the same cold, poor conditions and we survived the same car accident (although I wish I hadnt). She pulled through against all the odds and made an incredible recovery. She didn't leave me when I lost so much.
What befell me, befell her too. We were both the scapegoats. Hurt, neglected and ignored. We are one of the same and we are a part of each other. She taught me so much. She was such a brave and courageous soul. Even in her death was she was the best. She had a heart attack and spared me the agony of putting her down. Towards the end of her life I was so broken and defeated I quit my job and I spent nearly all day lying in the corner of my room. It's like she knew how much I was suffering. She wasn't the most biddable of dogs and she was so stubborn and independent, to go out on her terms like that was the sort of thing she'd do! I loved her cheeky spirit she had such a mind of her own. She never gave up. I wish she hadn't left me. I can't help but feel a bit abandoned. She knew of my suffering and my descent into the never ending darkness.
I don't why I wrote this, it's very long. Sorry. Thanks to anyone who read it.
I guess I feel a bit sad tonight. Like a lost little wolf howling into the empty night drowned out by the wind.

I feel like my death is drawing near.

I hope to join you soon Stella.
I really miss you.
Thank you so much.
You were someone when I have no one.

 

[Bat 17]

That is simply a beautiful piece of writing and a wonderful tribute to your dog. You clearly loved her so very very much. Honestly I haven't seen more moving passages written about people when they've died. Thank you so much for sharing with us what she meant to you. RIP

 

[FuneralCry]

I really liked this piece of writing. Animals make the best companions and are much better than humans in my opinion. I feel the same about my cat. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[whatever101]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you might be feeling right now. I have a dog too. I can't imagine loosing her. I wish I die first

 

[WornOutLife]

Awww so lovely!
If there's really any kind of afterlife, I deffo wanna see all of my dogs there, especially my current one, Tomi! So beautiful!!

 

[Robyn]

I really miss her. It's been 2 months. Life feels surreal. It's like watching a bad movie. I feel disconnected and non existant.
I feel weird like I haven't even cried or thought about her much. But I carry and sleep next to her ashes and dog tag everywhere I go. Sometimes I feel this really deep pain for a brief while and think about her. But then nothing happens.
I hope she's in a better place. I don't believe in an afterlife but I like to think of her in one. I bet she's chasing rabbits around!
She's not my reason to ctb but was my reason for living. I started with thoughts of dying at 8 and i think getting her when i was 9 saved my soul. I don't think I would have even made it to an adult without her.
She was my light in the darkness.
My best friend when I had none.
My only true family member.
My kindness in a sad world.
A flicker of hope in a world of despair.
A reason to fight when I had none.
She's my connection in a world where I can't connect to anyone.
She listened to me when no one else will.
When I cried she came and the rest of the world left.
Everyone else ignored me and but she greeted me with enthusiasm every time until she got dementia.
The other kids thought I was a weirdo but she didn't mind at all. How I looked, what I did, if i was like a boy or Whether I could speak or not. If I was mute she didn't mind at all.
I was her shield I took the abuse aimed her when I was a child. I fought for her and tried to protect her. I didn't do a very good job but I tried my best. After i was kicked out at 16 i had to leave her behind. Eventually my mother kicked her out like she kicked me out and we could live together. We lived in the same cold, poor conditions and we survived the same car accident (although I wish I hadnt). She pulled through against all the odds and made an incredible recovery. She didn't leave me when I lost so much.
What befell me, befell her too. We were both the scapegoats. Hurt, neglected and ignored. We are one of the same and we are a part of each other. She taught me so much. She was such a brave and courageous soul. Even in her death was she was the best. She had a heart attack and spared me the agony of putting her down. Towards the end of her life I was so broken and defeated I quit my job and I spent nearly all day lying in the corner of my room. It's like she knew how much I was suffering. She wasn't the most biddable of dogs and she was so stubborn and independent, to go out on her terms like that was the sort of thing she'd do! I loved her cheeky spirit she had such a mind of her own. She never gave up. I wish she hadn't left me. I can't help but feel a bit abandoned. She knew of my suffering and my descent into the never ending darkness.
I don't why I wrote this, it's very long. Sorry. Thanks to anyone who read it.
I guess I feel a bit sad tonight. Like a lost little wolf howling into the empty night drowned out by the wind.

I feel like my death is drawing near.

I hope to join you soon Stella.
I really miss you.
Thank you so much.
You were someone when I have no one.

English poet Lord Byron's passionate epitaph for his dog:

Near this Spot are deposited the Remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferosity, and all the virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human Ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of BOATSWAIN, a DOG, who was born in NewfoundlandMay 1803 and died at Newstead Nov. 18th, 1808.​

When some proud Son of Man returns to Earth,
Unknown to Glory but upheld by Birth,
The sculptor's art exhausts the pomp of woe,
And storied urns record who rests below:
When all is done, upon the Tomb is seen
Not what he was, but what he should have been.
But the poor Dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his Master's own,
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonour'd falls, unnotic'd all his worth,
Deny'd in heaven the Soul he held on earth:
While man, vain insect! hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven.
Oh man! thou feeble tenant of an hour,
Debas'd by slavery, or corrupt by power,
Who knows thee well, must quit thee with disgust,
Degraded mass of animated dust!
Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat,
Thy tongue hypocrisy, thy heart deceit!
By nature vile, ennobled but by name,
Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame.
Ye! who behold perchance this simple urn,
Pass on, it honors none you wish to mourn.
To mark a friend's remains these stones arise;
I never knew but one—and here he lies.