I haven’t been the same since my cat died.

[heLLishLandscape]

My cat passed away in December 2022 and I haven't been the same since. He was my first real pet as an adult that I took full, complete responsibility for and I feel like garbage. He was my baby boy. I still have cats, but they're my SOs cats and while I love them with all my heart, it's not the same. I haven't gotten another cat for myself. Every time I look at his ashes or think about how we would cuddle and play, I start crying. He was one of the main reasons I didn't CTB, because who would've taken care of him and he would wonder where I am. I have so much guilt over it, even though there literally wasn't anything that I could have done. I know it's dumb to be this sad over a cat, but I'm not doing well.

 

[LateForTheBus]

It's not dumb at all. I lost my sweet doggie to cancer 6 months ago. She was the only reason I was hanging on. She was my first real pet as an adult, too. I grew up with family dogs, but she was the first who was all mine. She was my best friend, my child, and my emotional support all rolled into one. I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat, and I know how hard it is. Sending you lots of love. (Hugs)

 

[Heavenbound]

It's not dumb. I'm a cat person too, so I totally get it. I'm really sorry for your loss, and I know it can be painful. Maybe at some point you'll feel like adopting a kitten from a shelter, and saving a life.
I wish you peace and comfort.

 

[RandomTuesday]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I haven't had any pets as an adult. As a kid we had a few indoor cats, but none of them were fixed. When one got out once, she got pregnant. We kept one of the kittens and friends took the other 2 or 3.... but the one we kept was male. He grew and impregnated one of the other cats. Then there were 3-4 more kittens. We kept 1 or 2 that time. The another one got pregnant. Then another. Then another. We had cats getting pregnant and having kittens we didn't even know about. We found litters of kittens in a ceiling, in furniture, in ducts, etc. At the worst I think we had about 60 indoor cats. Just dozens of indistinguishable cats without names. Our entire house was covered in urine and feces. I got made fun of at school everyday for smelling like cat shit. When I visited my dad, he would drive with the windows down in the car regardless of temperature or weather. I'd have to put all my clothes in the washer immediately upon arriving and shower. I'm a 40 something year old man and I'm still self conscious about my smell. Needless to say once I started living on my own, I've never thought about getting a cat, or any pet.

That being said, I don't think it's dumb at all to be mourning the loss of your cat. I'm glad you have happy memories of cuddling, playing, and loving your cat. I hope time lessens your suffering, but never your memories of your friend.

 

[nonialabaster]

My cat passed away in December 2022 and I haven't been the same since. He was my first real pet as an adult that I took full, complete responsibility for and I feel like garbage. He was my baby boy. I still have cats, but they're my SOs cats and while I love them with all my heart, it's not the same. I haven't gotten another cat for myself. Every time I look at his ashes or think about how we would cuddle and play, I start crying. He was one of the main reasons I didn't CTB, because who would've taken care of him and he would wonder where I am. I have so much guilt over it, even though there literally wasn't anything that I could have done. I know it's dumb to be this sad over a cat, but I'm not doing well.

I'm so very sorry for your loss! And it is not dumb at all, don't even think that. When our sweet Kristen died, September 2021, Mark and I were absolutely devastated. We both took a week off work, with the full support of our jobs. She was 13 and had breast cancer. I found a vet whose practice was exclusive to helping our babies pass at home. She died in our bed, her favorite place. Her ashes sit next to Mark's. He was never the same after she passed. He was her hooman, though she loved her Mama, too. She is the kitty n my avatar, or whatever it's called.

Allow yourself to grieve. Your baby boy meant everything to you and I'm sure he felt the same about you. When Kristen died, Mark and both grieved harder than when our parents died, and he had lost both of his. Me, just my mother. But the hole in my heart is still there for Kristen. Give yourself time. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or that it's "dumb" to feel like you do over a pet. He was your baby and that is that. Tell them that Noni said, "Kindly, and with all sincerity, fuck right on off."

 

[Punished Mantis]

It is not dumb. I know how you feel, hang in there. Keeping the ashes around may make it worse though I will say that much. The pain may never go away but you will become comfortable with it

 

[aitouka]

I am so sorry for your loss. I personally have two cats as well so I get why your grief is so strong. They're wonderful creatures and are family, it makes sense why you feel so strongly about their death. When I was little, my mom sold my two rabbits without telling me and they're gone one day and I haven't seen them since. A few years ago, as my dad's ex left him, she brought the two dogs they've stayed with me for 5 years as well and I haven't seen them since. So although I don't know whether they're alive or dead, I still feel the loss and I constantly feel paranoid and anxious about my current cats being gone. I get you, and again I'm so sorry, this is so hard to cope with, I know.

 

[gardenofaphrodite]

I relate to this so much. Ever since my baby Salem died, I feel like life has become even more dreadful. I adopted two other cats, but it's not the same. She was like my child, & I miss her every single day. Losing a pet is just as difficult as losing people, at least for me.

 

[prettybunny]

I really understand where you're coming from, as I've lost my cat to my meth head stepmom not taking care of her and I never got to see her ever again after I was put into foster care. I miss her so much everyday and regret ever letting my stepmom taking care of her. It sucks a lot and I'm so sorry for your loss, but don't feel stupid for it, it's the same as losing a best friend. It's alright to feel sad about it. I wish you love

 

[uselessaddict33]

That's not dumb at all, I had to put my dog down about a year ago and I feel the same way about her. I'm about to cry right now just thinking about her. I haven't been nearly as happy since she passed. Just hang in there hopefully you can find something or someone to fill the void

 

[imlookingforward]

i'm so sorry for your loss. i get it, my cat is my only reason for being alive rn. they really are like kids

 

[heLLishLandscape]

Thank all of you for the kind words. They truly mean a lot to me. If anyone wants to see what he looked like, this was him in the photo I've attached below. He was very tall, up to my mid-thigh when on his back legs and what I affectionately call "chubby" due to a thyroid issue. He had the sweetest meow that I would give anything in the world to hear again. I will say, one of the worst days of my life was walking out of that vet's office with an empty carrier. Again, thank you for all of your support (:

 

[Azora]

Pets can feel as important as any human family member depending on the personality and connection of the person. Concerning thoughts of suicide however, keep in mind that emotional states will vary as time goes on and the chemical hit that you're feeling right now will more than likely subside. Ending your life is an important and very permanent decision to make and should be done with a rational mind, weighing the pros of and cons. If your life overall is of good quality then killing yourself over the death of a pet may not be a good long-term choice. Give yourself some weeks or months to recover and think things through.

 

[Toy]

Very sorry for your loss, it is okay to grieve as your cat was very special to you. I am still grieving my cat as well since having to move out of my parent's house and not getting to see him again before they gave him to a new home a month later, I was extremely close to my cat and him watching me move out was a very painful moment in my life as I know it was the last time that he ever saw me, he watched me leave. I very much still miss him. Animals can be very important in someone's life and hold a lot of comfort. Cats are amazing creatures, it is very hard to lose a pet that you love, even if they haven't actually passed away. Allowing yourself to grieve is very important, wishing you love and comfort through this hard time.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Thank all of you for the kind words. They truly mean a lot to me. If anyone wants to see what he looked like, this was him in the photo I've attached below. He was very tall, up to my mid-thigh when on his back legs and what I affectionately call "chubby" due to a thyroid issue. He had the sweetest meow that I would give anything in the world to hear again. I will say, one of the worst days of my life was walking out of that vet's office with an empty carrier. Again, thank you for all of your support (:

I'm very sorry .

Your cat is very sweet.

My dear cat died 6 years ago, but I never got over the loss of him.

The only consolation is that our departed pets are no longer in pain and suffering.
I hope they are in a better world.

 

[WaitingToGo]

I'd feel the same way if I lose my Stan. That's him in my bed. if I lost him I don't know what I'd do he's such a character and i love him very much. its normal to feel sad and grieve for them when they pass.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really painful and hard to deal with what you have to go through, the reality is that life certainly is so unnecessary cruel.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

I am so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I lose four of my cats too. They're not dead, I was homeless and they had to be rehomed. They're all very happy and living with their siblings in a lovely home. However, I viewed them as my children so I totally get how you feel. They loved me, depended on me, showed me affection and I was all alone. I needed their love. When I lose them whilst homeless (being rehomed not literally lost then) I was devastated. I still have the collars each of them wore and the small cat t-shirt I put on them all. I still have all of their pictures and videos of them. I find it hard to watch the videos because I am no longer with them. The only comfort I have is knowing they are living with their siblings and being loved. I lost everything each time I was homeless, my cats, my possessions, everything. I understand how you feel. None of my cats have died, but my birth brother had a lovely cat called Shadow. Shadow was amazing, when Shadow died I was devastated. I cried for a long time. Shadow would sleep on my chest if I was laying down, Shadow would sit next to me if I was on the sofa and Shadow once even protected me from a vicious cat who was chasing me around the garden (I was a toddler and it was easy for me to be terrified of it) Shadow stood infront of me when I hid behind the large toy car and fought that cat. Shadow was definately one special cat. So I know what it's like to also have a cat die who I was very close to. If you want to talk I am here =)

If it helps I grew up in foster care so I know all to well the feeling of loss.

 

[Slipkorn]

I've lost 3 cat's 2 dogs, and a rat. The rat was the worst for me. I raised him from a pinky, bottle fed the damn rat. Raised him up to be the sweetest little PEW there ever was, not a mean bone in his body. I allways affectionatly named him "Damn Rat", it always fit the narrative. Even in the end, the one thing I grieved for the most, was a damn rat.

 

[I wish I were a cat]

My cat passed away in December 2022 and I haven't been the same since. He was my first real pet as an adult that I took full, complete responsibility for and I feel like garbage. He was my baby boy. I still have cats, but they're my SOs cats and while I love them with all my heart, it's not the same. I haven't gotten another cat for myself. Every time I look at his ashes or think about how we would cuddle and play, I start crying. He was one of the main reasons I didn't CTB, because who would've taken care of him and he would wonder where I am. I have so much guilt over it, even though there literally wasn't anything that I could have done. I know it's dumb to be this sad over a cat, but I'm not doing well.

Sorry for your loss It's not dumb. I'll be absolutely beside myself when mine passes and he also keeps me alive. Sometimes I wonder why I even rescued him in the first place when I know the day will come when I have to say goodbye I dread it so much.

 

[Unattainable666]

Your feelings are real. You loved your little kitty. I understand completely. My little girl is 14 years old and has liver cancer. I don't know how long I have with her so I'm trying to make every day for her the best. She sleeps with me, loves me unconditionally. I'm still here because I have no one to take her if I ctb. She is my responsibility, I love her so much. I can't say what will happen once she hoes, but quite honestly That will be my breaking point.

 

[I wish I were a cat]

Also so fucked we can't get bereavement leave when they pass..like wtf they're a family member! I'll need to take time off when my baby passes regardless.