Venting I have the strongest urge to destroy

[Navi]

I don't know why I do. Its irrational. I just want to hurt everyone I know and then disapear. Just leave without a trace. Maybe CTB a while after not because I want to but to just hurt those people. Maybe its some sort of revenge but even then I don't think they hurt me enough to justify all this.

 

[Bardo]

I don't know why I do. Its irrational. I just want to hurt everyone I know and then disapear. Just leave without a trace. Maybe CTB a while after not because I want to but to just hurt those people. Maybe its some sort of revenge but even then I don't think they hurt me enough to justify all this.

As long as it's not put into action, it's just an emotion and thoughts. Put it into your workouts, art, writing.

 

[SamTam33]

I don't have it in me to hurt people who didn't hurt me first. I consider my myself a master empathizer, but I could never understand or empathize with criminals who attack people that didn't warrant it.

There are plenty enough people who actually deserve to be destroyed. No reason to fuck with random people who did nothing but have the misfortune of crossing paths with you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you know what you're angry about? Presumably you are angry? Have these people really wronged you?

 

[hellispink]

That sounds borderline. I want to destroy myself so bad and sometimes I wanted to destroy other people and things too. I just wanna be over.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I would destroy the entire universe if I could, I don't feel guilty about that because I consider it to be a horrible, evil thing, and it would satisfy my personal vendetta against existence for giving me this awful life and giving others lives just as awful or even more so. I hate it beyond words.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Are there people in your life who did hurt you badly enough to deserve this? It would certainly explain why you feel the way you do if there are or have been people who have abused you or taken advantage of you in the past. Sometimes I feel like destroying everything and hurting everyone for that very reason, but I don't think I could ever actually do it. As long as I can find a way to not exist, then I don't have to care about these things anymore.

 

[moparman97b]

I don't know why I do. Its irrational. I just want to hurt everyone I know and then disapear. Just leave without a trace. Maybe CTB a while after not because I want to but to just hurt those people. Maybe its some sort of revenge but even then I don't think they hurt me enough to justify all this.

I feel this too. I think I've hurt so much I want to feel vengeance. Some of it is vengeance against those who hurt me, but largely I want to hurt God by hurting the people He has blessed at my expense. If they are more valuable to Him than I am, I will take them. Of course as soon as I think this I feel shame and guilt. I don't want to be this monster that I fear I may be becoming.

 

[cujoh]

i know i shouldn't. i know i shouldn't but the thought is always there. whenever my urge to CTB gets particularly strong and I have no viable options hurting everyone around me always always crosses my mind.

 

[Navi]

Do you know what you're angry about? Presumably you are angry? Have these people really wronged you?

Thats just it, i don't know. Perhaps I've forgotten, since memories from the last couple years have become rather blurry. Maybe I feel like I've been hurt in some way by them. Like they have left me alone or broken a promise they have kept. I try not to think about too too much because it just makes me angrier but its been eating me alive these last couople days. I genuinely think something is wrong with me or that I might have some kind of disorder but the last thing I want is for people to treat me any differently or even kindly.

 

[sorrowful]

i already hurt people, i guess i do it because i know i'm going to ctb and i don't want anyone to get too close to me. problem is when it comes to actually going through with it, i just don't have the means right now. so instead i end up hurting myself by being completely isolated and then a new person comes along and the cycle continues. i hate myself for hurting so many people, i know i have to die soon

it really is cruel.