Venting I have the antiemetics, pain killers and beta blockers, I will be getting the the SN in 5 days.

[zekeyaeger]

I don't know why I am posting this, just wished to communicate all that to someone. I like this community, it's a place where there is acceptance of a desire to end the pain when and if all other options have been exhausted. There are a surprising amount of people who do not understand this, I used to think they would be understanding of the fact that there can be situations where nothing can be done, and the only way out is death. It is SO sad that so many people all over the world have to suffer to end it all, even after the suffering that they already faced in their existence. Assisted Suicide is becoming more accepted in some countries, and I believe that's a right direction. I am appalled by the irrationality of so many folks who would rather see a person in agony than dead, and calling them weak if they do choose that path. Horrid. Right to Die should be accessible to all. Every human being seeks agency, and denying them that is utterly gross.

Another thing that I have learnt is, there is no justice. A bunch of folks do have some sort a "just world" thing going on in their heads, I think that's what people help people deal with existence in a way. But the truth is, abusers can get away with doing evil. They can live better lives while the abused remain bleeding and in pain. No wonder a bunch of cultures have some form of "just world" afterlife present in their belief systems, it helps to cope.

I wanted to post a simple update, but I derailed, sorry for that. I wish to write a book chronicling the suffering one goes through when suicidal and/or depressed for a major part of their existence and seeking suicide as an answer. I do not know if I will be able to due to my mental health condition, but I did wish to communicate the experience to folks like Welcome to NHK did for social anxiety.

I hope we all reach the peace we seek.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also find the absence of painless ways to die to be cruel, all I personally hope for is to never suffer in this futile, torturous existence again which is why it brings me so much pain how I cannot just die peacefully, I hope you find peace from all the suffering.