I have only 1 attempt to get my suicide right failure is not an option

[FireFox]

My biggest fear is failing at the suicide attempt because I know my family will making me feel guilty about it and making it all about themselves already they have done so when they discovered my laxatives and diet pills. My grandmother was even preaching how its "important" for me to be healthy me being the first born to help my mother out because my arsehole father was never around, my relatives are nothing but ungrateful free loaders who can do no wrong in my mother's eyes and grandmother's.

I hate hospitals and do not want to be hospitalised too. Failure is not an option.

That's is why I plan to kill myself at 30. Once I have everything in place I am ending my life. I plan to kill myself using either a strong overdose in a car parked somewhere in a beauty spot or carbonate monoxide poisoning in tent in a beauty spot location in England. I really wanted to live but I don't belong here in this world. If I had more support for my problems, I found somewhere where I belonged and had more stability I wouldn't want to kill myself. I don't want to go through another decade my 20s have been a mess.

 

[Zegers]

We have to try to minimize failure as much as possible and i think that's what people here are looking for, which is why research and planning takes time.

 

[FireFox]

We have to try to minimize failure as much as possible and i think that's what people here are looking for, which is why research and planning takes time.

@Zegers The strange thing is I have never actually attempted suicide. I have been suicidal since the age of 21 but I never acted upon it fully. I thought on multiple occasions of hanging myself, drowning myself, overdoing but never have I acted upon it.

the fear of failing and being hospitalised and dealing with the family backlash deters me a lot. If you fail at suicide everyone hates you but if you are successful everyone loves you and misses you.

 

[Zegers]

I didn't do it before mainly because i didn't have any method, no guns, no SN, no place to jump off, i have a method since last summer and i still don't have it fully planned.

 

[SolomonKado]

it blows my mind how people will put so much on one person. Even though the person who was initially responsible failed miserably. You'd think that they would do whatever they can to support each other. To share the responsibility….like they expect a normal human being that's always going to make mistakes is going to be perfect…

I've thought about how I just wanted the pain to stop, but not like this. Once a person gets to this point it's depressing because they are not the first. Which means there is something ultimately wrong with this world and the people in it and it continues like no one cares to ultimately fix it. The fixes they do implement are half ass anyways because you're asking people who are not passionate about helping others to fix the problems anyways.

Whatever you choose in life I hope you find the peace you're looking for. You deserve that.

 

[Sid19]

To make less chances of failure you should better research more on your method of doing ctb. I am in a similar situation and failure is definitely not an option here.

 

[canGrew]

SN do seem promising to me but I'm still afraid that it'll fail, again failure is not an option I will do the stat dose in the next week

 

[locked*n*loaded]

@Firefox..........if you want to go out by using CO poisoning in a tent, you should start reading all you can about that method to make sure you get it right. There's plenty of information about that method at your disposal right here on SaSu. It isn't something you just want to do "off the cuff" on a whim. BTW, how long until your 30th birthday?

 

[alexit]

The worst thing about failures is that you end up worse off.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thought of a suicide attempt going wrong is so terrifying to me, I find it inhumane how we cannot just leave this world in peace in a guaranteed way with no chance of failure. It's so horrible how people can suffer more from a failed attempt but anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.