i have nothing to support me, i think im gonnna do it

[iamjustapebble]

i called a suicide hotline last night and they told me to stop calling them.
i don't have friends that i can talk to about this. i have one 'friend' and i told him and he just went silent on me.
i used to try to get some support on reddit (yeah i know, reddit :/) but they always completely ignore me and tell me im pushing them away even though im just trying to explain why their 'solutions' dont work for me. i got a bunch of messages telling me to go to therapy. ive been going for a while now and its done nothing for my mental health. im on medication (Lamotrigine) and it doesnt help at all. i went to the mental health hospital and there i was abused, bullied, and sexually harrased becasue i was the only man in the women's ward (if being the only guy in the womens ward is this bad, i don't want to know what being the only ""woman"" in the mens ward would be like).
I tried talking to my parents but i get yelled at and they tell me they can't help.

i found a website that sells SN in my country (eastern europe). i think im going to do helium instead though, its easier to get it. though again ill have to do some research before hand. im planning on doing it on All Saints Day (ironic, right?), so ive got about a month to do some reading.

 

[U. A.]

ouch, that's a lot of bullshit...sorry pal.

 

[58Alice85]

I am not saying this to make you miserable but so you can see things clearly
Nobody gives a s*** about you
All your parents, the medical system, suicide hotline they are all lying pieces of filth
they probably get off on tormenting you
if satan wishes to blacken your right eye gouge out both of satans eyes in response

 

[iamjustapebble]

I am not saying this to make you miserable but so you can see things clearly
Nobody gives a s*** about you
All your parents, the medical system, suicide hotline they are all lying pieces of filth
they probably get off on tormenting you
if satan wishes to blacken your right eye gouge out both of satans eyes in response

thats exactly what i think! nobody gives a single fuck about depressed people. they dont even bother to help. they prefer to jerk themselves off to how amazing and helpful they are, even though the moment the mentally ill person acts (shocker!!) ill they suddenly dont care about mental illness at all. its like they never cared.

honestly i never thought seeing someone tell me that nobody gives a shit about me would feel cathartic but it does lol. hearing the hard cold truth feels good when everybody wants to continuisly lie to me.

 

[Lions303]

Aww shit... Im really sorry you've gone through all that shit man SaSu is always here. Are you comfortable opening up and saying whats up?

 

[Hollowman]

There's no help for some of us, it's a sad reality.

 

[unluckysadness]

Depressed people are unwanted people. Disabled persons too. I'm both so I understand what you mean.
But this is a shocking thing : "they told me to stop calling them". Anyway it's true, nobody gives a shit about us. Some people will probably be happy when we'll be dead (dead problematic person = resolved problem). This forum is the only place where we can talk about our problems without being judged.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

I'm convinced that mental health wards are the absolute worst places to be for a depressed person. I pretended to get better so that I could get out. I think that's the goal, they're deliberately awful so that you don't want to spend any time there. Definitely NOT a place where you can heal and receive comfort.

 

[iamjustapebble]

I'm convinced that mental health wards are the absolute worst places to be for a depressed person. I pretended to get better so that I could get out. I think that's the goal, they're deliberately awful so that you don't want to spend any time there. Definitely NOT a place where you can heal and receive comfort.

exactly my opinion. other patients abuse you and make it worse, nurses act like assholes towards you, doctors dont care. its not a place to get better. i think that they're just places where they can send people they hate and want to see suffer. because they hate mentally ill people, they always have and not much has changed, except that now they pretend to care because it makes then feel good about themselves and look better to others. its gross