Venting I have no self respect

[Bunny Beanie]

Just helped a friend out. I then vented to them about stuff too. About how I feel like I'm being used. How I'm a void filler and nothing else in people's lives. How I wish I was wanted and not needed. How I wish people liked me for me and not for what I offer. Little did they know… I was talking about them. They were being nice but I can just tell from our conversation that they wanted to leave as soon as I started to vent about my stuff after they were done venting. Their energy was different. Why do I love these types of people? The people that don't actually care about me. The people that use me up and then throw me away once they don't need me anymore because someone better came around. I hate it here. Why do I have no self respect. And most of all, why are 99% of my friends like this. It's not just this person. It's most of my friends. They all need a person to talk to therapeutically and I'm that person for them. And I don't mind. I love being there for my friends. But I just wish they liked me as well. I know they don't. They don't actually like my personality at all. At least they don't make me feel like they do. No one asks me to hang out. They avoid hanging out with me tbh. I'm like a disease to my own friends. They don't care. Wish they did. Why the fuck do I care so much. I can not wait to ctb on my birthday. I'm so excited. It's gonna be the first time I put myself first.

 

[mertvets]

i feel you, one-sided friendships are horrible. i'm glad i've had the strength to drop these 'friends' in the past, now i just dearly treasure the few true friends that i do have.
it's especially burdensome when you take into account how difficult it is to form friends as an adult. but i personally would rather be alone than have two-faced friends, any day of the week.

i wish you the best...