I have no hope anymore I am ever going to find love and happiness

[FireFox]

As I grow older now I realise now I am unlovable and have permanent insecurities as result of a lifetime of rejection and never being picked. I am not normal being 27 years old and never having a boyfriend and still being a virgin. I am broken and cursed I 100% believe it now.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-am-unlovable.178466/

I can't cope anymore with always never being enough for someone and never getting picked. I am tired of doing everything by myself while other woman have boyfriends and husbands taking them out to places.

People even tell me I am taking a man's masculinity away because I ask men out and it's the role for the man to pursue a woman. I can't win anymore. Men don't pursue me and even when I make the effort to ask men out I still get rejected.

At 27 I start university next week honestly I feel like a failure because this is the year I should have been graduating if my financial issues did not happen last year. At this age I thought I would be living on my own, in a career and having a stable boyfriend. I am just so far behind. I am so sick of nothing ever working out for me. Life isn't for me all my life have struggled to fit in and I don't belong here in this world.

I do not want my life anymore.

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

27 is still young, I'm sure you'll find someone, what are you studying in uni?

 

[helpsh]

I'm 27 and still living at home, not what I expected. Good luck with your education I hope it opens many doors for you!

 

[complex]

Wow i am 43!!! No degree, in a dead end job with no respect from my managers, with very few and far genuine friends, no normal relationship, no mortgage!! My face his aging fast now and all professionals have given up on me!!
You are young, you have possibilities and u are at uni u striving for better and don't stop asking people out as if thats how u roll DO IT as otherwise u won't be being the genuine u and u won't attract the genuine people that are right for u xxxx

I'm 27 and still living at home, not what I expected. Good luck with your education I hope it opens many doors for you!

I am 43 and still basically just lodging xx no shame in it with today's rents for full properties and mortgages

 

[Forever Sleep]

I realise this is kind of hypocritical because I hate it when people try to push me to look on the bright side or- use phrases like: 'At least'. Anything preceeded by 'at least you...' tends to agitate me. But... starting at uni will mean an influx of at least 30 or more people into your life I would think. You don't know for sure that you won't find very good friends amongst them. Maybe even a partner- you just don't know.

I can understand being cautious to not pin your hopes on it but- you simply don't know. On the other hand- you can absolutely decide that you won't meet someone. You can absolutely ignore everyone and decide it's not worth the risk trying to form friendships/ relationships. Some of it is fate. Good or bad luck in who we happen to meet but, some of it is what we're willing to risk in terms of opening ourselves up to people. From what you've said in previous posts, it sounds like you do still put a lot of effort in. I only hope that this time, it's rewarded and you meet people worthy of your effort.

Do you feel positive about uni though? It seemed like you weren't even sure you'd be able to do the course in some of your other posts. I was 28 when I did my second degree so, I feel like I do have some idea of how you're feeling. I'm 44 and have never had a relationship too so, you're not entirely alone in that feeling also. Not that that helps probably...

 

[divinemistress36]

You still have time to find a partner. Keep in mind not everyone in a relationship is happy as they seem on the outside and most romantic relationships end when the honeymoon phase is over

 

[complex]

I realise this is kind of hypocritical because I hate it when people try to push me to look on the bright side or- use phrases like: 'At least'. Anything preceeded by 'at least you...' tends to agitate me. But... starting at uni will mean an influx of at least 30 or more people into your life I would think. You don't know for sure that you won't find very good friends amongst them. Maybe even a partner- you just don't know.

I can understand being cautious to not pin your hopes on it but- you simply don't know. On the other hand- you can absolutely decide that you won't meet someone. You can absolutely ignore everyone and decide it's not worth the risk trying to form friendships/ relationships. Some of it is fate. Good or bad luck in who we happen to meet but, some of it is what we're willing to risk in terms of opening ourselves up to people. From what you've said in previous posts, it sounds like you do still put a lot of effort in. I only hope that this time, it's rewarded and you meet people worthy of your effort.

Do you feel positive about uni though? It seemed like you weren't even sure you'd be able to do the course in some of your other posts. I was 28 when I did my second degree so, I feel like I do have some idea of how you're feeling. I'm 44 and have never had a relationship too so, you're not entirely alone in that feeling also. Not that that helps probably...

Very true words x just can imagine it truly knocks u, causes a tremble, when so much has not quite panned out so far and u get a feeling u are caught in a cycle but uni is a strong way to open the possibilities of breaking that cycle x and open new doors and if not it gives u education and a step towards the career u are chasing??

You still have time to find a partner. Keep in mind not everyone in a relationship is happy as they seem on the outside and most romantic relationships end when the honeymoon phase is over

Totally!!! And man they can twist and turn and go so toxic and i for one wish i had never chased the dream of the married with kids as got neither but dogs who love in their way but no human love but hey I got a 'partner' !!!!

 

[Forever Sleep]

Very true words x just can imagine it truly knocks u, causes a tremble, when so much has not quite panned out so far and u get a feeling u are caught in a cycle but uni is a strong way to open the possibilities of breaking that cycle x and open new doors and if not it gives u education and a step towards the career u are chasing??

Totally!!! And man they can twist and turn and go so toxic and i for one wish i had never chased the dream of the married with kids as got neither but dogs who love in their way but no human love but hey I got a 'partner' !!!!

Yeah, I know it isn't all that fair or realistic to say- it worked for me, so it will work for you. But, I do feel a lot of simpatico with the OP, even if they think we're probably different and their situation is worse.

I did do a degree between 18-21 but it didn't work out in terms of a career. I was working in a shop during my twenties and struggling enormously to try and make my prefered (creative) career work. It was a meeting with an Agent that basically tore my stuff to shreds (verbally) that made me realise I should quit and try something else. But truly- I felt like it was the end of the world at the time. My second degree did end up putting me on the right track. (Well, a better one at least...)

It does give you structure, focus and the real possibility to fail and waste all that money in tuition fees- which focussed me. Plus, there were maybe 5 or more mature students in my group. It's not uncommon for people to change direction in life these days. Even later life. I very nearly changed direction again in my 40's. Really- all throughout my life, I've been changing direction. Not all lives are as simple as studying and landing your forever career and meeting your forever partner. I just think people like to boast on social media that their life is currently great.

My love life is even more non existent with several ridiculous bouts of limerence. Again, I don't want to be so arrogant to say we all follow the same pattern but I will say- stuff like achieving things by a certain age and, having a partner were monumentally important to me in my 20's. But, that faded as I grew older. It may not for everyone. It may not for the OP but, it's possible. There are some benefits to aging! Of course- I'm here so- not enough benefits! Hopefully, things will work out better for the OP though. They seem overdue for some good luck.

 

[divinemistress36]

Very true words x just can imagine it truly knocks u, causes a tremble, when so much has not quite panned out so far and u get a feeling u are caught in a cycle but uni is a strong way to open the possibilities of breaking that cycle x and open new doors and if not it gives u education and a step towards the career u are chasing??

Totally!!! And man they can twist and turn and go so toxic and i for one wish i had never chased the dream of the married with kids as got neither but dogs who love in their way but no human love but hey I got a 'partner' !!!!

You hear about couples all the time who you thought were the perfect couple and then find out one was cheating the whole time or toxic. I would rather just be single. Dogs are way better partners!

 

[Sarros]

Don't let anyone get you down about taking the initiative to ask people out. I think that's quite rare and an endearing quality. Personally, I'd love if anyone approached me.

 

[complex]

Yeah, I know it isn't all that fair or realistic to say- it worked for me, so it will work for you. But, I do feel a lot of simpatico with the OP, even if they think we're probably different and their situation is worse.

I did do a degree between 18-21 but it didn't work out in terms of a career. I was working in a shop during my twenties and struggling enormously to try and make my prefered (creative) career work. It was a meeting with an Agent that basically tore my stuff to shreds (verbally) that made me realise I should quit and try something else. But truly- I felt like it was the end of the world at the time. My second degree did end up putting me on the right track. (Well, a better one at least...)

It does give you structure, focus and the real possibility to fail and waste all that money in tuition fees- which focussed me. Plus, there were maybe 5 or more mature students in my group. It's not uncommon for people to change direction in life these days. Even later life. I very nearly changed direction again in my 40's. Really- all throughout my life, I've been changing direction. Not all lives are as simple as studying and landing your forever career and meeting your forever partner. I just think people like to boast on social media that their life is currently great.

My love life is even more non existent with several ridiculous bouts of limerence. Again, I don't want to be so arrogant to say we all follow the same pattern but I will say- stuff like achieving things by a certain age and, having a partner were monumentally important to me in my 20's. But, that faded as I grew older. It may not for everyone. It may not for the OP but, it's possible. There are some benefits to aging! Of course- I'm here so- not enough benefits! Hopefully, things will work out better for the OP though. They seem overdue for some good luck.

Hope i didn't misword am rubbish at words. Sorry

Don't let anyone get you down about taking the initiative to ask people out. I think that's quite rare and an endearing quality. Personally, I'd love if anyone approached me.

You hear about couples all the time who you thought were the perfect couple and then find out one was cheating the whole time or toxic. I would rather just be single. Dogs are way better partners!

Yes dogs def are xx people still think he perfect and its all me its just messy and toxic and am too tired to rectify xx

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hope i didn't misword am rubbish at words. Sorry



Yes dogs def are xx people still think he perfect and its all me its just messy and toxic and am too tired to rectify xx

No need to be sorry. I was just waffling on more.

 

[complex]

No need to be sorry. I was just waffling on more.

Phew as still such a mess its showing in my lack of language skills too and wld never want to harm or upset as I truly see this as a platform for all and all types and all speech sorry

 

[EvisceratedJester]

A lot of people don't end up going into a relationship until later in life so you shouldn't be beating yourself up over never having had a boyfriend yet. There are also plenty of people who don't finish their post secondary education until a bit later in life. My mom started going going to college in her 30s. She's thinking about potentially going to university too.

 

[FireFox]

You still have time to find a partner. Keep in mind not everyone in a relationship is happy as they seem on the outside and most romantic relationships end when the honeymoon phase is over

@divinemistress36 I really want to believe that but the older I get the more harder and harder it is.

It absolutely hurts me so much that all my life I have never been a man crush or that woman a man really wanted.

In adulthood I give all my attention and love to the men I love but they never give it back and they just want someone else. I am never ever enough for a man. No matter how much love and care I give the man doesn't want to know more.

Nobody had ever wanted to know me geniuenely. It's like I am cursed from day 1 even my own father didn't want me.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

@FireFox I feel like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to keep up with your peers, but it's fine to move at your own pace. A lot of people don't get to finish their post-secondary education until later in life during to all sorts of reasons. Hell, two of the women in my philosophy class are older than most of us and already have kids of their own. One of the guys in my ecology class was older than us (I think he may have been around his mid-20s). These are people completing their undergrad. A lot of people don't lose their virginity or start dating until their 20s to 30s. Sometimes even later than that. I think this tweet points to where I'm getting at.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

People even tell me I am taking a man's masculinity away because I ask men out and it's the role for the man to pursue a woman. I can't win anymore. Men don't pursue me and even when I make the effort to ask men out I still get rejected.

I think asking people out is difficult for most people. There's a weird balancing act of being interested but at the same time pretend to be cool/unbothered about the outcome even though you obviously like them.

I'm in my 40s and haven't kissed or held hands yet, so obviously I haven't even started to figure things out yet.

 

[FireFox]

Don't let anyone get you down about taking the initiative to ask people out. I think that's quite rare and an endearing quality. Personally, I'd love if anyone approached me.

@Sarros I have the natural confidence to talk to men even when I was a teenage girl I had the confidence to talk to boys I liked but still I got ridiculed for it and seen as the werid girl. In adulthood I am seen as too dominant and emasculating men because I have the courage to ask out men I like.

Outwardly I am feminine in my look and small build but I am seen either as a dominant due to my outspoken personality and not scared to take initiative

If I don't pursue I lose, I pursue I still f---cking lose. I am becoming more and more submissive to give men whatever they want so they won't leave me because I now believe I have to be 100% submissive to get a man to love me.

 

[lamargue]

@Sarros I have the natural confidence to talk to men even when I was a teenage girl I had the confidence to talk to boys I liked but still I got ridiculed for it and seen as the werid girl. In adulthood I am seen as too dominant and emasculating men because I have the courage to ask out men I like.

Outwardly I am feminine in my look and small build but I am seen either as a dominant due to my outspoken personality and not scared to take initiative

If I don't pursue I lose, I pursue I still f---cking lose. I am becoming more and more submissive to give men whatever they want so they won't leave me because I now believe I have to be 100% submissive to get a man to love me.

what spaces do you pursue men? clubs? bars?

 

[FireFox]

A lot of people don't end up going into a relationship until later in life so you shouldn't be beating yourself up over never having had a boyfriend yet. There are also plenty of people who don't finish their post secondary education until a bit later in life. My mom started going going to college in her 30s. She's thinking about potentially going to university too.

@EvisceratedJester I have been through a lifetime of male rejection and its always the same outcome no matter what I do I am never enough.

Over the summer I met a guy (nothing serious) who is 30 years old as I was ready to move on from the 55 year old man I was in love with. He was a very tall redheaded white male from Norway. I really liked him for his personality and I genuinely was attracted to him. He made me feel so inadequate oh my god.

I regularly told him that I find his hair and deep dark brown eyes beautiful. The compliments I gave where never enough for him. After complimenting him on my many occasions he asked me to confirm if I find him physically attractive. It was so hurtful because I worked so hard on those compliments I gave him.

These were the compliments I gave him

● "You are eyes are so soulful, warm and inviting I never get tired of looking at them" This is how i genuinely felt every time I saw his eyes.

● " you are very handsome man" ", I love your long beard"

But still the man questioned me over my attraction to him.

When it came to my height his comments were hurtful

● He pointed on multiple occasions how "Tiny" I was compared to him. He mentioned how his exes were "not as small as me".

● He questioned how someone small like me can be attracted to man big as him. I told him I don't care about his height because "I am staring above his face and I like what I see"

I was getting fed up of him having a problem with my small height so I tried to find out why he has a problem with my height. So I asked him the following question" if we were to have sex are you scared of breaking my bones and me going to A&E[hospital]"

The man response was " yes - that was one of my initial fears " meeting you

I was interested in genuinely knowing this man as a person and all he could think about was sex and whether or not he will break my body. It's not physically possible to break my body for a woman's body to break during sex the man must use excessive force.

He even gave me the slient treatment for 2 whole weeks and acted like nothing happened. Eventually we parted ways amicably

27 is still young, I'm sure you'll find someone, what are you studying in uni?

@JoysoftheEmptiness I am doing a masters degree in Law. I want to be a lawyer working for The Crown Prosecution Service as a prosecutor or specialising in an area of law working in government or assisting law enforcement or working for a charity. Working in non law related jobs made me miss studying law and forced me to look at what i really wanted in life

The older I get getting single is more and more harder everyday something so natural other women can do I can't get ot right and have a man be genuinely interested in me.

Every time a guy shows some interest in me it's because he has split up with his girlfriend and needs someone to pass the time with. I have always been the rebound girl and feel incomplete as a woman because of it. Why am I always a magnet for men whose relationships have broken down and then leave once they get back with ex. I give all this love and care only for the men to discard me once they reunite with their ex girlfriend.

If not the rebound person I just attract men who don't make any effort to want to know me as a person. All my life I have known male rejection over and over again.

Over the summer I met a guy ( nothing serious) in his 30s. He made me feel inadequate and never enough. I gave him compliments because I was genuinely attracted to him and liked his personality but still he was questioning my attraction to him and asked me to confirm if I found him physically attractive even after I complimented him.

He had made hurtful comments over my small height and he even gave me the slient treatment for 2 whole weeks, it was so cruel and caused me so much pain.. we eventually parted amicably.

what spaces do you pursue men? clubs? bars?

Over the summer I met a man( nothing serious) and this is how I pursued him.

He is 30 years old and from Norway. The guy and I knew each other because I am a regular customer at the CBD shop he works at.In the shop we regularly talk to each other and we have the most interesting conversations. The shop is at certain times has no customers so yeah that is how we talk. Whenever I come to the store he looks happy to see me

In july when the shop was closing I asked the man for his number and asked him if he can go on a walk with me. The area has canals and lots of markets.

He actaully agreed. We had a great time on our walk and that's how we got messaging each other regularly. As time went on he began to make me feel inadequate and never enough for him no matter what I did.

I put up with his unhealthy behaviour because I was scared he would give me the slient treatment again. The man had a lot of insecurities and issues from being abused by women in the past. I feel very sorry for him and we decided to amicably go our separate ways.

 

[CatLove56]

I thought this was a little amusing finding this post because I'm a 28-year-old male virgin I was literally just being depressed about this and then I saw this post and my first thought is hey you want to set something up lol but for real I'm sorry to hear about your struggle I relate to it I get it. I hope at least your university goes well at least you can say you're doing that right.

 

[Ashu]

You still have time to find a partner. Keep in mind not everyone in a relationship is happy as they seem on the outside and most romantic relationships end when the honeymoon phase is over

"Tis better to have loved and lost..."

 

[Aloneandinpain]

In july when the shop was closing I asked the man for his number and asked him if he can go on a walk with me. The area has canals and lots of markets.

A while ago I realised no woman has ever given me her phone number nor asked me for mine.

If you're able to get someone's number than you're on the right track. Having the confidence to ask for it is amazing too, especially when rejection keeps on eating away at our self-esteem.

Edit- I haven't even experienced women give me a fake number either.

 

[FireFox]

A while ago I realised no woman has ever given me her phone number nor asked me for mine.

If you're able to get someone's number than you're on the right track. Having the confidence to ask for it is amazing too, especially when rejection keeps on eating away at our self-esteem.

Edit- I haven't even experienced women give me a fake number either.

@Aloneandinpain virtual hug you deserve to be happy. People tell me it's a role for a man to pursue and I am wrong for asking the man out.

I honestly I think he felt so emasculated around me. When I asked him the question "do you find me dominant" he instantly answered no so quickly. He never responds that quickly to any question I asked him. I instantly knew he was lying. He 100% found me dominant. I sensed him getting defensive.

He even complained how I am "hard to read" even when I was honest that I really liked him and wanted to know him.

Sometimes I wish I was born the quiet girl who always fitted in with the crowd at least men would want to pursue me and feel like a "real man." A woman like me we are just misunderstood struggle to fit in and have to deal with being seem as "dominat" due to our outspoken personality and not afraid to take the lead

I realise now I didn't make him feel like a real man. The man has a history of being abused by other women now I realise he wanted control and to feel like a man. Me taking initiative made him feel less of a man.

In my next encounter with a man I will be super submissive because that's what all men want is submission. I can't be me anymore.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

@Aloneandinpain virtual hug you deserve to be happy. People tell me it's a role for a man to pursue and I am wrong for asking the man out.

Rejection is very hard to deal with sometimes. In isolation each isn't so bad, but I've probably had to talk to 200 women to become friends with the ones who reject me, so it's not merely one rejection, but the 200 on top of that.

If women who will chat to me or be friendly are going to reject me for romance at a 1 in 200 rate also, then that means I have chat to 40,000 women, and I simply don't have the strength or energy to do it much more

At least if I was to CTB then I can't be rejected anymore.

 

[FireFox]

I thought this was a little amusing finding this post because I'm a 28-year-old male virgin I was literally just being depressed about this and then I saw this post and my first thought is hey you want to set something up lol but for real I'm sorry to hear about your struggle I relate to it I get it. I hope at least your university goes well at least you can say you're doing that right.

@CatLove56 I hope you meet someone.

In my next encounter with a man I will be super submissive and let him control everything because that's what all men want is dominance and feeling like a real man. I can't be me anymore. People tell me it's a role for a man to pursue and I am wrong for asking the man out.

I honestly I think the last guy felt so emasculated around me and i began to sense it as well during the time I spent with him. I was the one who asked his number and asked to go on a walk with me which he agreed to. I was the one who kept suggesting fun ideas we can do together in the city as I am creative like that. He is a tall man while I am a very small woman

I realise now I didn't make him feel like a real man. The man has a history of being abused by other women now I realise he wanted control and to feel like real a man. Me taking initiative made him feel less of a man.

When I asked him the question "do you find me dominant" he instantly answered no so quickly. He never responds that quickly to any question I asked him. I instantly knew he was lying. He 100% found me dominant. I sensed him getting defensive over my question.

He even complained how I am "hard to read" even when I was honest that I really liked him and wanted to know him.

Sometimes I wish I was born the quiet girl who always fitted in with the crowd at least men would want to pursue me and feel like a "real man." A woman like me we are just misunderstood struggle to fit in and have to deal with being seem as "dominat" due to our outspoken personality and not afraid to take the lead.

Rejection is very hard to deal with sometimes. In isolation each isn't so bad, but I've probably had to talk to 200 women to become friends with the ones who reject me, so it's not merely one rejection, but the 200 on top of that.

If women who will chat to me or be friendly are going to reject me for romance at a 1 in 200 rate also, then that means I have chat to 40,000 women, and I simply don't have the strength or energy to do it much more

At least if I was to CTB then I can't be rejected anymore.

@Aloneandinpain Majority of People don't understand how lucky they are to have someone choose them and see them as something special. Couples take so much for granted I would absolutely anything to have their life just for a day.

I already started my plans again to kill myself when I turn 30 because I am not spending another decade being single. The rejection has finally broken me as a person I no longer find life worth fighting for.

I have tried my best to enjoy single life believe me

● I go to museums, parks and many places by myself
● I spent this year climbing a dome 50 metres high and went by myself
● I travel to different countries

I can't cope anymore. I would rather be dead than be than continue to live with the pain as the unwanted woman. That is all I will ever be.

 

[CatLove56]

@CatLove56 I hope you meet someone.

In my next encounter with a man I will be super submissive and let him control everything because that's what all men want is dominance and feeling like a real man. I can't be me anymore. People tell me it's a role for a man to pursue and I am wrong for asking the man out.

I honestly I think the last guy felt so emasculated around me and i began to sense it as well during the time I spent with him. I was the one who asked his number and asked to go on a walk with me which he agreed to. I was the one who kept suggesting fun ideas we can do together in the city as I am creative like that. He is a tall man while I am a very small woman

I realise now I didn't make him feel like a real man. The man has a history of being abused by other women now I realise he wanted control and to feel like real a man. Me taking initiative made him feel less of a man.

When I asked him the question "do you find me dominant" he instantly answered no so quickly. He never responds that quickly to any question I asked him. I instantly knew he was lying. He 100% found me dominant. I sensed him getting defensive over my question.

He even complained how I am "hard to read" even when I was honest that I really liked him and wanted to know him.

Sometimes I wish I was born the quiet girl who always fitted in with the crowd at least men would want to pursue me and feel like a "real man." A woman like me we are just misunderstood struggle to fit in and have to deal with being seem as "dominat" due to our outspoken personality and not afraid to take the lead.

I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable on here but you are literally my type of woman. There are plenty of men out there who don't mind or even want a woman who knows what she wants. I'm so sorry for your bad luck with these guys and thank you for your kind words as well. I would private message you but I believe your settings don't allow that fyi if you did not know.

 

[zero.viscosity]

Imma older guy and I've never pursued a woman and been successful, they have all pursued me haha. Two long and fulfilling-ish relationships. There are guys out there who like it Ms Fox! I don't think it will work if you 'act submissive' because it is just that, acting, and it goes against your nature and the true you will eventually come out. Regardless, I'm sorry you're having a hard time with relationships, it sucks. I think I'm older than you but my current single streak is coming up on 6 years. Yay!

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I sometimes wonder if I should just tell women that I'm a virgin and hope for a relationship out of pity, but that's not really how I'd want things to be, and just seems pathetic/desperste and extremely weird at my age.

At the same time it would be nice to be close enough to someone to be able to tell them such a thing.

 

[Morte]

@FireFox I feel like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to keep up with your peers, but it's fine to move at your own pace. A lot of people don't get to finish their post-secondary education until later in life during to all sorts of reasons. Hell, two of the women in my philosophy class are older than most of us and already have kids of their own. One of the guys in my ecology class was older than us (I think he may have been around his mid-20s). These are people completing their undergrad. A lot of people don't lose their virginity or start dating until their 20s to 30s. Sometimes even later than that. I think this tweet points to where I'm getting at.
View attachment 151025

I don't think op is putting too much pressure on herself. She is 27. Most people at this age already experienced romance, sex and are now surviving on their own. It's natural that she should have already experienced at least half of this, otherwise there is definitely something wrong.

If someone reach 27 with nothing, it's likely that life will only get worse, because body will get slower, as the brain; genetic diseases will appear and beauty disappear.

Elderly people who still achieve something usually had a normal youth, not crippled like op. Its far more difficult to achieve anything at old age when you had no foundation before hand.

No offense, but everyhting you said is just a massive cope. I just hate it when they tell me that I haven't achieved anything because "my time hasn't come yet and i shouldnt pressure myself". Damn, my psychologist keeps saying that to me and i hate it. I just tell her - 'No, I'm late and my time won't come, because I'm already past it'