I have everything others want

[ReimuIsTransAndSad]

well the philosophy about my point is that, subjective beauty standards will exist, and people even like myself arent above being superficial, and existence would be better off had it never existed (im a philosophical pessimist)

Thank you for clarifying, I understand. Definitely agree a lot of people are capable of being shallow as hell (me included). I do wish I never existed. I'm autistic, so I definitely struggle to comprehend some aspects of reality, but why couldn't I be born in another world as a video game or TV character that I liked? My autism is deffo showing.

Existence is cruel and scary. I would love to just fade into nothing after I CTB. I don't want there to be any more. I am most angry that I never consented to any of this. Some days I just deal with it. Most people just deal with it. It's tiresome to just deal with it for me. Creation feels like cosmic rape. Spiritually speaking, if I am the universe experiencing myself or some hippy-dippy crap, then wow, I fucking suck.

 

[loggingin]

Thank you for clarifying, I understand. Definitely agree a lot of people are capable of being shallow as hell (me included). I do wish I never existed. I'm autistic, so I definitely struggle to comprehend some aspects of reality, but why couldn't I be born in another world as a video game or TV character that I liked? My autism is deffo showing.

Existence is cruel and scary. I would love to just fade into nothing after I CTB. I don't want there to be any more. I am most angry that I never consented to any of this. Some days I just deal with it. Most people just deal with it. It's tiresome to just deal with it for me. Creation feels like cosmic rape. Spiritually speaking, if I am the universe experiencing myself or some hippy-dippy crap, then wow, I fucking suck.

most spirituality people are as delusional, just like religion (im extremely athiestic, ) most people arent aware that the average existence born into reality is just suffering and nightmare narratives (for about 550 million years of active sentient evolution, most sentient creatures were born to die due to predation - for more read my post on philosophical pessimism https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ost-my-view-of-the-world.229265/#post-3348251)

as for atheism , consider this, if life was a test by "God" and we need negativity for a test to exist, why do we need to resist things? and others dont? for example, most people arent pedos, but a pedo would have to resist his pedophilic urges, and wonder why most other people dont get to have those immoral urges , the test isnt fair, also God would be the one that instilled the urges for him to resist as the test in the first place . not my favorite example (my favorite argument for atheism is the problem of evil )

also to add, " being born into another world that you like " means that the narrative that you value would be the highest value and everything that doesnt conform to those standards would get crushed.

 

[TAW122]

I can relate to your story. From the outside and from people who don't really know me, yes it may appear that I'm privileged or lived a good life, but that's far from the truth. What they don't see is the struggles I have socially, with others, internal struggles, and other desires and what not that do go unfulfilled (I have quite a few in my life and frankly I'm not okay or accepting that I couldn't get the ones that mean a lot to me, so life is just full of coping until I can't anymore then I'd pull the plug on myself). Internally, it has been an hellish battle within and the people dynamics and what not (yes, I'm on the spectrum fwiw), and I'd rather just not exist than to deal with the shitshow for many more decades.