I have everything I need yet....

[plzoffme]

I have everything I need yet still get hung up with SI :( I purchased a 9MM pistol which will be my ticket out of here. I just need to pull the damn trigger and all of this will be over.... I think i might try to get drunk then do it. I was at a beautiful park yesterday which I planned to die at. I had the gun pointed at my head but my body was pulsating fear its just crazy how much my soul wants out, and this body is keeping me a slave in it. Tonight has to be it! I am running out of time and money so can't be here much longer. I plan on getting a hotel room tonight, buying some booze, play my favorite music and when i enter a very emotional drunk state ill pull the trigger...

Why can't there be a place where people can peacefully go? its fucking bullshit that people have to resort to these methods.

 

[TBONTB]

I have everything I need yet still get hung up with SI :( I purchased a 9MM pistol which will be my ticket out of here. I just need to pull the damn trigger and all of this will be over.... I think i might try to get drunk then do it. I was at a beautiful park yesterday which I planned to die at. I had the gun pointed at my head but my body was pulsating fear its just crazy how much my soul wants out, and this body is keeping me a slave in it. Tonight has to be it! I am running out of time and money so can't be here much longer. I plan on getting a hotel room tonight, buying some booze, play my favorite music and when i enter a very emotional drunk state ill pull the trigger...

Why can't there be a place where people can peacefully go? its fucking bullshit that people have to resort to these methods.

I dream with you of an easier way out

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I hope you find the relief you search for

 

[knickknack81]

I will just say be careful when drinking before CTB. Id hate for you to get too drunk that you end making a mistake in yr attempt with a gun and end up surviving but seriously injuring yrself (perhaps permanent).

I think SI is just a motherfucker no matter which method you do. It's very difficult to fight against yr body which is doing everything it can to stay alive. You hear this from people across multiple CTB methods.

Whatever you end up doing, I want to wish you nothing but peace and comfort.

 

[whyyyyyyyy]

The alcohol will hopefully give you the courage and certainty in your decision to execute. Hopefully all goes however it's meant to!

 

[plzoffme]

The alcohol will hopefully give you the courage and certainty in your decision to execute. Hopefully all goes however it's meant to!

Thank you :) Yea I just can't exist in this disgusting body anymore.

 

[tend a dead garden]

do you have an idea of what song you want on for the final moment? As music has the power to elicit very strong emotions

 

[plzoffme]

Good question! ummm prob dark classical

 

[Liebestod]

Don't get too drunk because the last thing you want to do is miss.

 

[girlsboysthems]

same here. not a fan of billie eilish, but the song everything i wanted calms me down and makes me feel like shes singing just about this. I am living my dream life: amazing bf, great friends, finishing up the degree. yet im still the way i have always been, no amount of changing circumstances is going to change that. every year that im alive the guilt gets worse. i failed my suicide, my only way out snd everything is worse...