Venting I have everything but I still want to die

[CompletedLife]

I want to die even though I have almost everything I want in life and I'm on track to get all the things I don't yet have.

I'm 21 years old. I have friends and family that care a lot about me. I have a business that is making good money and is expected to make even more in the future. I have worked on my appearance for long enough that others now think I'm good looking and I'm now VERY successful with women, a video of me went viral and all the comments were women talking about how attractive I was. I spent years developing different skills, so I'm now very skillful and knowledgeable in many different areas of life. I'm literally living the dream of my younger self

But ever since about a year ago, life has just felt so fucking pointless. It just feels like there is no reason to continue living. I feel like I have done everything I need to do in life and it's time for me to move on. I haven't gone a single day in the past year without thinking about suicide. If we all die eventually and go into eternal nothingness forever, what difference would dying ~60 years earlier make in the grand scheme of things?

I remember when I was younger and I would hear about millionaires/celebrities killing themselves I would always think "why would you want to die if your life is that good?" but now I understand

I worked so hard and sacrificed so much to get this point in life but it was all for nothing

Leading up to this moment I have done my best to cut off all my friends and family and ruin our relationships so that my death will have less of an effect on them

 

[Novacaine]

Yup. Funny how it works. It's not all for nothing though, many people don't have clean water, food, or shelter. We are blessed.

 

[Reuthry]

Well, what everyone is going through is specific to themselves and I don't think that it is not accurate to compare. You may say that you have everything, but maybe the everything you are talking about is something you don't have in life. I knew people (I was close to them in some sense, not just an observer) who achieved their goals in their life but they took their own lives anyway, I don't know, maybe what they had wasn't the thing that they needed in their lives, but in the end this situation is in my opinion is more complicated than what you have.
Also I am sorry you are going through all of these things, I hope you find peace in the end.

 

[figurehead]

I want to die even though I have almost everything I want in life and I'm on track to get all the things I don't yet have.

I'm 21 years old. I have friends and family that care a lot about me. I have a business that is making good money and is expected to make even more in the future. I have worked on my appearance for long enough that others now think I'm good looking and I'm now VERY successful with women, a video of me went viral and all the comments were women talking about how attractive I was. I spent years developing different skills, so I'm now very skillful and knowledgeable in many different areas of life. I'm literally living the dream of my younger self

But ever since about a year ago, life has just felt so fucking pointless. It just feels like there is no reason to continue living. I feel like I have done everything I need to do in life and it's time for me to move on. I haven't gone a single day in the past year without thinking about suicide. If we all die eventually and go into eternal nothingness forever, what difference would dying ~60 years earlier make in the grand scheme of things?

I remember when I was younger and I would hear about millionaires/celebrities killing themselves I would always think "why would you want to die if your life is that good?" but now I understand

I worked so hard and sacrificed so much to get this point in life but it was all for nothing

Leading up to this moment I have done my best to cut off all my friends and family and ruin our relationships so that my death will have less of an effect on them

Same here, I think that's got a clinical name - depression. Depression fucks up with everything you have or don't have. It gnaws the bliss and pride of having anything/anyone. I'm much older than you, but fell the same (or similarly). I'm happily married with a 14 yo daughter, I've got people who really care about me, I wanted to be an academic so I did everything I could until a PhD and a post-doctoral fellowship. But I'm eaten slowly by whatever frustrations I have - I never got to working in the area I specialised, I've put 20 kg over the years, I feel ugly, old and that everything I've done is a sham. I've got bipolar disorder, which has been really at the bottom of everything, whatever I achieve I spend all the time running trying to ignore my relapses. I don't think I'll CTB anytime now, but I know it'll happen sometime. I'm running against it, because then I'll lose everything.

 

[Tears in Rain]

I want to die even though I have almost everything I want in life and I'm on track to get all the things I don't yet have.

I'm 21 years old. I have friends and family that care a lot about me. I have a business that is making good money and is expected to make even more in the future. I have worked on my appearance for long enough that others now think I'm good looking and I'm now VERY successful with women, a video of me went viral and all the comments were women talking about how attractive I was. I spent years developing different skills, so I'm now very skillful and knowledgeable in many different areas of life. I'm literally living the dream of my younger self

But ever since about a year ago, life has just felt so fucking pointless. It just feels like there is no reason to continue living. I feel like I have done everything I need to do in life and it's time for me to move on. I haven't gone a single day in the past year without thinking about suicide. If we all die eventually and go into eternal nothingness forever, what difference would dying ~60 years earlier make in the grand scheme of things?

I remember when I was younger and I would hear about millionaires/celebrities killing themselves I would always think "why would you want to die if your life is that good?" but now I understand

I worked so hard and sacrificed so much to get this point in life but it was all for nothing

Leading up to this moment I have done my best to cut off all my friends and family and ruin our relationships so that my death will have less of an effect on them

 

[dynastickitten]

Having the same issues. I'm still at the point in which I'm fighting the impulse to off myself. I've been taking care of my relationships, but more and more I find that it's hard not to push people away.

I'm not sure if that's the way to go though. It seems benevolent, but I think the people around you remember you fondly after they find out what you did because they'll realize why you treated them like that

 

[MyLuckyStars]

thats the funny part about all this, there's nothing on earth that can satisfy us. we lumber after the carrot on the stick until we kick the bucket or manage to snag it. and after that...what then? nobody knows. makes your noggin ache if you think about it too hard. those who don't, for better or worse, just never get tired of it. maybe if immortality was an obtainable thing itd be worthwhile