Venting i have an eating disorder

[nooneyouknow]

i don't know, I've had it for like 6-7 years at this point I just need to tell someone and what's not better than the online void that is this forum. it's very isolating and lonely, it's not very obvious because it's not anorexia so I struggle in silence and people just assume I'm fat for fun. It's tiring and I'm exhausted. I lost 15 pounds and gained it all back within a month and now im trying to re lose weight I already lost and it's just annoying at this point. sometimes I want people to just show concern for me, feel cared about yk? i just use this site to throw my emotions out and never acknowledge them again. i can't say it doesn't help some

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

That sounds very difficult. I've never had an eating disorder, but I know people who have, and I know how horrible it can be. How it really takes over your entire life.

 

[Worndown]

You should seek someone to work with on this. It becomes a roller coaster you cannot get off of.
Check your area for resources. Most areas have some form of outreach counseling that is more affordable if you do not have insurance.

 

[nooneyouknow]

thank you and I do appreciate it but honestly I think I've already accepted the fact this is a roller coaster I cannot get off of </333 it's simply apart of me atp

 

[kyhoti]

Here's some unasked for experience: I speak from the viewpoint of being a former drug addict, so you can take this or leave it. Eating disorders are every bit as deadly as substance abuse disorder, they just tend to take longer to kill. Likewise, it is entirely possible to recover from eating disorder. The driver is a desire to stop. The biggest and foremost tool to recovering, in any way, is shared community. I say this with multiple decades trying to recover: every time I thought I could run solo, I fell back into old patterns of behavior.

Best of luck in your endeavor, and may you find the peace you seek.

 

[nooneyouknow]

Here's some unasked for experience: I speak from the viewpoint of being a former drug addict, so you can take this or leave it. Eating disorders are every bit as deadly as substance abuse disorder, they just tend to take longer to kill. Likewise, it is entirely possible to recover from eating disorder. The driver is a desire to stop. The biggest and foremost tool to recovering, in any way, is shared community. I say this with multiple decades trying to recover: every time I thought I could run solo, I fell back into old patterns of behavior.

Best of luck in your endeavor, and may you find the peace you seek

thank you and I do appreciate it, genuinely I'll keep in mind

 

[opheliaoveragain]

i don't know, I've had it for like 6-7 years at this point I just need to tell someone and what's not better than the online void that is this forum. it's very isolating and lonely, it's not very obvious because it's not anorexia so I struggle in silence and people just assume I'm fat for fun. It's tiring and I'm exhausted. I lost 15 pounds and gained it all back within a month and now im trying to re lose weight I already lost and it's just annoying at this point. sometimes I want people to just show concern for me, feel cared about yk? i just use this site to throw my emotions out and never acknowledge them again. i can't say it doesn't help some

I can completely relate. Honestly we're in a very similar place with our ED's; mine has been around for more than 15 years. Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat<33 This shit truly is crazy making.

 

[willitpass]

I also have an eating disorder. It first came around when I was 13 and then I went into pseudo remission for several years. I fully relapsed about a year and a half ago and it's been hell. I've never sought treatment for mine either, so I don't have anything to offer there, if you're looking for help. But I'm sorry you're doing through it too. It truly is hell. I've got myself in a bit of a binge cycle this week but I normally restrict. I wouldn't wish an ED on my worst enemy.