I have a weird taste in music when I'm suicidal

[LetMeGoPlease]

Some music that many would probably find happy and upbeat makes me cry and goes very well with my suicidal feelings and thoughts. I guess it makes me feel like nothing can be done and like I'm giving up trying which feels a bit like relief. Like I'm defeated and I'm done trying and I'm on my way running back home to non-existence. Does anyone experience this too? I would love to hear which songs make you feel this way, please share them with me.
I'll share some of the songs I listen to.

 

[Mr2005]

Happy music makes me feel like shit

 

[meetapple]

Some music that many would probably find happy and upbeat makes me cry and goes very well with my suicidal feelings and thoughts. I guess it makes me feel like nothing can be done and like I'm giving up trying which feels a bit like relief.

I get annoyed by happy music but would love it if it made me feel like it does you.

 

[FuneralCry]

Happy music just makes me feel terrible. I cannot stand it. There is nothing to be happy about. In the past, very depressing music has made me feel a bit better, especially if I can relate to the lyrics. In general, I do not like most music especially repetitive songs. I am easily irritated.

 

[Catloaf]

I don't really enjoy sad and depressive music anymore. It leaves me feeling even shittier than I did before. What I truly need is making peace with death. If an upbeat song has lyrics that can be applied to ctb, I add it to a playlist.
Some of my faves are Goodbuy Stranger by Supertramp and Live Forever by Oasis (how ironic, isn't it?)

 

[Beau]

Familiar songs that remind me of a happier time in my life can either make me feel better or make me break down. It is hard to predict. It doesn't matter if they are sad or upbeat, it's more about the memories they bring back to me.