I have a sick fantasy of watching people die of suicide.

[AtomicWaffles]

I don't know what it is. I want to watch somebody CTB, I don't mean like over the internet. But I want to see it in person. It's probably a mental issue with me but I just wish that could happen but I know that I can't do that. Is this a really bad thing to wish for? Am I a nutcase? Or is this normal?

 

[Little_Suzy]

You sound like a fetishist, which is completely inappropriate for this website.

 

[Humble]

no this is not normal

 

[AtomicWaffles]

no this is not normal

So I am just completely out of it? I am actually deeply concerned

You sound like a fetishist, which is completely inappropriate for this website.

If you mean fetish the way I think you mean, no. I don't get you know THAT "gratification" from the idea of watching people yk what. it's nostalgia. A nostalgic feeling.

 

[stuckinthemud]

So I am just completely out of it? I am actually deeply concerned

what are your reasons ? What would it do for you ?
I know some watch them online here to prepare themselves with knowledge, and maybe find some comfort from doing so…but I'm not sure you're coming from the same place ?
If it is a fetish then I suggest you speak to a psychologist and leave the site.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

if it's for no reason i assume it's just morbid curiosity, which isn't something the normal ppl that buy football + Starbucks merch & keep up w the kardashians/l8est trends on tiktok wanna see. so as u know, it's not normal. although saying it's a 'fantasy' is a bit odd.

for me, i'd like to see some1 ctb irl w 1 of my potential methods, to see what it's really like & to get a play by play of the thoughts + emotions they have during & before it. as well as efficiency.

 

[AtomicWaffles]

what are your reasons ? What would it do for you ?
I know some watch them online here to prepare themselves with knowledge, and maybe find some comfort from doing so…but I'm not sure you're coming from the same place ?
If it is a fetish then I suggest you speak to a psychologist and leave the site.

Maybe you didn't see what I said but no, it is not a fetish. I don't get like turned on and stuff like that. I find it nostalgic.
It

if it's for no reason i assume it's just morbid curiosity

The reason is nostalgia and a feeling of childhood once more

 

[Anri_wants_peace]

i've been watching a compilation i found on a gore site of people jumping and ofc CTBing...
whit a song in the background
Skeeter Davis - The end of the world
and when i'm really down i watch it on a loop
it's comforting...after a few times i even started seeing a bit of beauty in some of them.
it for some reason feels nice to imagine that i will be joining them one day
call me whatever i know something is wrong whit me

 

[AtomicWaffles]

Stop eating atomic waffles, they're messing with your brain

Brain chemical instability go brrr

 

[leloyon]

Stop eating atomic waffles, they're messing with your brain

Stop eating atomic waffles?! Messing with your brain?!?! PC gone mad. You can't stop me from eating the atomic waffles, libcuck, the woke left want you to stop eating atomic waffles.

i've been watching a compilation i found on a gore site of people jumping and ofc CTBing...
whit a song in the background
Skeeter Davis - The end of the world
and when i'm really down i watch it on a loop
it's comforting...after a few times i even started seeing a bit of beauty in some of them.
it for some reason feels nice to imagine that i will be joining them one day
call me whatever i know something is wrong whit me

I haven't seen that particular compilation, but I watch similar compilations.
Knowing that these people, who have been suffering so much that they're committing suicide, are finally finding peace, and watching them do it... it's oddly wholesome to me. Their suffering has finally ended. I have got to witness a lifetime of suffering finally end.
And they are kinda inspirational, admittedly. It's a little comforting to have some sort of real world example of how things might go.
(Also, a fellow Qwarz fan?)

 

[Anri_wants_peace]

Stop eating atomic waffles?! Messing with your brain?!?! PC gone mad. You can't stop me from eating the atomic waffles, libcuck, the woke left want you to stop eating atomic waffles.

I haven't seen that particular compilation, but I watch similar compilations.
Knowing that these people, who have been suffering so much that they're committing suicide, are finally finding peace, and watching them do it... it's oddly wholesome to me. Their suffering has finally ended. I have got to witness a lifetime of suffering finally end.
And they are kinda inspirational, admittedly. It's a little comforting to have some sort of real world example of how things might go.
(Also, a fellow Qwarz fan?)

yeah Qwarzu

 

[leloyon]

yeah Qwarzu

Nice, I've been watching their videos since their Mio Honda basement video, nice to see someone else who enjoys them.

 

[cece3535]

don't think its wrong, and whose to say whats normal? i've certainly had my fair share of messed up thoughts and plans of what i wanted, so then i guess im a nutcase too

 

[breezeboy]

Almost any death you could ever wish to see are available on gore sites. Tons of suicide videos with a wide variety of methods used.

I guess I wouldn't mind having someone watch me blow my head off lol. At least I wouldn't be alone

 

[fishlover]

i definitely understand this feeling. its hard to explain why, maybe its because its such a special and unique moment. would probably only care if it was someone im close to, though.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

I don't know what it is. I want to watch somebody CTB, I don't mean like over the internet. But I want to see it in person. It's probably a mental issue with me but I just wish that could happen but I know that I can't do that. Is this a really bad thing to wish for? Am I a nutcase? Or is this normal?

Pm me

 

[Abyssal]

So long as you aren't forcing anyone to commit suicide for you, I guess it's fine to fantasize. It's not normal, but I suppose it's not really harming anyone?

I'd leave mentions of it off this site though.

I recall hearing that many people get fetishes or feel attracted to certain traumatic situations/events that it's their brains way of coping with it. Well, it's more a defense mechanism than anything. Perhaps that's what's happening?

 

[AtomicWaffles]

So long as you aren't forcing anyone to commit suicide for you, I guess it's fine to fantasize. It's not normal, but I suppose it's not really harming anyone?

I'd leave mentions of it off this site though.

I recall hearing that many people get fetishes or feel attracted to certain traumatic situations/events that it's their brains way of coping with it. Well, it's more a defense mechanism than anything. Perhaps that's what's happening?

Lol of course I am not forcing anyone to do anything. Also someone I loved very much I guess you can now call my ex but I am a little hesitant to start using that label even though it's been a while. CTB'd and I was the one to find them, so maybe yea it could be coping.

Also it's not a fetish. I don't get turned on by it I am just highly comforted.

 

[rozeske]

Also someone I loved very much I guess you can now call my ex but I am a little hesitant to start using that label even though it's been a while. CTB'd and I was the one to find them, so maybe yea it could be coping.

I think @Abyssal has cracked the case :)
Anyways take it easy and don't be hard on your self

 

[mortuarymary]

I've watch people die, horrible deaths from cancer. I've also seen them afterwards at work.
They had peaceful deaths. you, well what can I say. You've a morbid obsession with it. I'm stuck for words what to say but this behaviour isn't healthy.

 

[AtomicWaffles]

You've a morbid obsession with it. I'm stuck for words what to say but this behaviour isn't healthy.

I can understand why you say that. It probably isn't healthy that I would also like to hold someone as they go. Just like hug them.

 

[mortuarymary]

I can understand why you say that. It probably isn't healthy that I would also like to hold someone as they go. Just like hug them.

That is something how can I say it but rather magical. The pain is going and they are in your arms and they just go. That's what happened to my brother. So much pain with cancer but I honestly do think towards the end the hospice nurses who loved him upped his meds. I promised my mom I'd help her along with lung cancer but wasn't to be. in the uk they started LCP Liverpool care plan for hospice and the elderl. The most barbaric way to go. Starved and dehydrated. She was so thirsty we were giving her ice pops.

I can understand why you say that. It probably isn't healthy that I would also like to hold someone as they go. Just like hug them.

But I do also have a bit of a morbid obsession. Love reading about death etc. Curre reading Stiff. Great book.