Discussion I have a memory eraser inside my head.

[VoidDesirer22]

After every few weeks I feel like a lot of my memories get scrubbed, fogged up and distorted.

I already struggle with poor mental imagery, so perhaps that is linked. I therefore cannot encode memories like a lot of people I have learned about (friends). This has always haunted me and has been something I cannot express properly to others. It has determined a lot of my behaviours (like compulsive note-taking that became detrimental).

Can others relate?

 

[Nightmare Painting]

My memory has always been bad from being traumatized at a young age. I have no idea how other people experience memories but I still know that mine have never been anywhere close to normal. My entire life is just a foggy haze and my memories are fragmented or often like a single still frame on a film reel.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

My memory has always been bad from being traumatized at a young age. I have no idea how other people experience memories but I still know that mine have never been anywhere close to normal. My entire life is just a foggy haze and my memories are fragmented or often like a single still frame on a film reel.

Oh geez this is such a scary concept. I have been told by people that "good memory isn't that important", but only by people with normal memory.

My memories from childhood have very little content to them. I always questioned if maybe something happened that I suppressed, but it could just be my brain.

Thank you for sharing. I understand how nightmareish it can be.

 

[demuic]

Yes. I even also have poor mental imagery and compulsive note-taking and other habits. It is something I've always struggled with and only seems to get worse as time goes on. People would always say "everyone forgets things" etc but no, not to this extent. For many things, it's like unless it is staring me right in the face, it doesn't exist. It causes a lot of pain. I won't suffer like this for the rest of my life, living in a haze with a void where memories should be.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

Oh geez this is such a scary concept. I have been told by people that "good memory isn't that important", but only by people with normal memory.

My memories from childhood have very little content to them. I always questioned if maybe something happened that I suppressed, but it could just be my brain.

Thank you for sharing. I understand how nightmareish it can be.

Your brain can definitely suppress memories; it's one aspect of post traumatic stress and dissociative disorders and likely why i can barely remember anything before the age of 10. The issue for me is that it has become ingrained despite the the real dangers from the original memories being long passed; memory problems are just one issue on how debilitating it really is.

Suppressed memories won't surface until you feel safe enough to experience them but sometimes I feel like I do remember something terrible but wonder if that's something my mind made up.

 

[miserableforever]

And to add another post here. I have the same going on. No memories of being a kid, no memories as a teen, no memories of my 20's. You'd ask me what I did a week ago, I have no clue.
Can't recall faces and names of people I used to hang out with. When I drive, my GPS is the only thing that keeps me from getting lost even though I've been to the same location a hundred times.
To me it feels normal cause I don't it any different. Only when people address the issue it becomes obvious for a moment, but I just brush it off.
There was tons of abandonment and later on sexual abuse, that much I know.
I had unexplainable infections in my bladder as a little kid that poisoned my kidneys. They cut me open at some point. I don't remember anything, but I have a scar left. My mom never explained what happened. She completely abandoned me later on. Even that I don't recall. All I remember is the constant sadness in me.

Nothing sticks, life is just an endless foggy tunnel.

 

[Jaded Pear]

I definitely relate with the lack of mental imagery. Apparently when people close their eyes and think of visualizing an ocean they actually see an ocean in their head as if looking at a picture. Apparently other people when reading a book can imagine seeing a setting as if they are watching a movie. My memory and concentration are far from good as well. I often forget which days things happened on. I feel like some days I forget to eat lunch, because I assumed I already did.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

Your brain can definitely suppress memories; it's one aspect of post traumatic stress and dissociative disorders and likely why i can barely remember anything before the age of 10. The issue for me is that it has become ingrained despite the the real dangers from the original memories being long passed; memory problems are just one issue on how debilitating it really is.

Suppressed memories won't surface until you feel safe enough to experience them but sometimes I feel like I do remember something terrible but wonder if that's something my mind made up.

I can totally relate.

 

[Foresight]

Yes, I have this too. It's a CPTSD defense mechanism for me. I like it though. It keeps me in the present and that's more useful than fishing around the past.

 

[kiuya]

I thought I was the only for this! I'm not sure what caused it, I have a good short-term memory but my long-term memory has gone full shit. I'm a CSA victim, so it could be a PTSD symptom but I'm not sure. I remember facts like I dated this person y, but don't remember how long or which year we broke up or don't have any memories of them or just a few really hazy ones. It generally feels that I've gone more dumber, my thought process is a lot slower etc. I realized early last year that I got raped so maybe that triggered my PTSD or something.
I would love if you could train your long-term memory so you can remember your memories a lot better, but I don't think that's possible. Unless you play a 1 year long game of pairs or something

 

[Hollowman]

Lack of visual imagery is called aphantasia I have it too

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Lack of visual imagery is called aphantasia I have it too

I have researched it a lot. I do have some very weak mental imagery, as it ranges on a scale. People with weak mental imagery seem to rely on "propositional mental representation" as opposed to "depective mental representation". It is quite fascinating, but more than that I just wish I had rich imagery. It definitely helps with encoding memories to visualize things clearly.

 

[Hollowman]

I have researched it a lot. I do have some very weak mental imagery, as it ranges on a scale. People with weak mental imagery seem to rely on "propositional mental representation" as opposed to "depective mental representation". It is quite fascinating, but more than that I just wish I had rich imagery. It definitely helps with encoding memories to visualize things clearly.

There's a guy that had aphantasia that claims to have developed a technique called image streaming and now he's cured. I haven't tried it yet there's a video on YouTube

 

[VoidDesirer22]

There's a guy that had aphantasia that claims to have developed a technique called image streaming and now he's cured. I haven't tried it yet there's a video on YouTube

Can you pm me the video link ?

 

[Z-bar]

After every few weeks I feel like a lot of my memories get scrubbed, fogged up and distorted.

I already struggle with poor mental imagery, so perhaps that is linked. I therefore cannot encode memories like a lot of people I have learned about (friends). This has always haunted me and has been something I cannot express properly to others. It has determined a lot of my behaviours (like compulsive note-taking that became detrimental).

Can others relate?

I relate.
I Can't say for sure , but you may have
adhd inattentive type. I have it and if I'm not on my medicine I fail to pay attention to detail, things go over my head, even important things or meaningful things, and it's looked at like your inconsiderate or self absorbed.
You can be real forgetful and it really puts a damper on your self esteem.
It always feels like your playing catch-up
Writing is everything. I journal for this very reason.
Ever since I've been taking the medicine my memory is impeccable
Anyways, it's a possibility.

Sending good vibes your way. Have a good day.

 

[Hollowman]

Can you pm me the video link ?

Just get on YouTube and look up image streaming there's several videos

 

[Hollowman]

Just get on YouTube and look up image streaming there's several videos

If you've tried imagine streaming and have had any success let me know please. It might motivate me to try it.