I have a different question. How do you live?

[lunargreenx]

I've seen the questions. How do you hang yourself? What's the easiest way?

The real question for me is : How do I live?

Because I really want to.

I am 20 year old gay man wanting to start a family, live the most boring life imaginable. I am having a chance to go to university and maybe then migrate to better country in which a person with my *circumstances* is able to live like a normal human.

The goal however is hard to achieve due to my stupid sensitivity.

Everything around me is a trigger. I see people holding hands. I see REAL friendships. I see families. And as I see this, I wonder how could they have something I do not. Something that should be taken for granted. I am suffering for long 20 years of my life and I've never been happy. I experience severe depression if I see this "trigger", which as you may guess is pretty often.

Everyday it's getting harder and harder. And I am asking myself, while looking at my suicide poison in a sealed bag: Why am I still fighting?

 

[Symbiote]

Your triggers are seeing people having an actual human connection which for most of us, we long for, but gave up since it's futile. You have a vision, you see yourself wanting those things, and because you're 20, you have the time to do those things and eventually human connection falls into place. You'll be put into situations where you have to communicate. Are you socially anxious? Do you know when you first started getting triggered?

 

[Symbiote]

I might be being stupid here, but I don't think two of the same sex can start a family dude.

You might have to reconsider

Same sex couples can adopt or obtain a surrogate.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I might be being stupid here, but I don't think two of the same sex can start a family dude.

You might have to reconsider

Have you never heard of adoption?

 

[HopelessFight]

I might be being stupid here, but I don't think two of the same sex can start a family dude.

You might have to reconsider

We're living in the 21th century dude. The Middle Ages are over.

 

[HopelessFight]

Just an odd concept to me, I wouldn't want to bring up someone else's DNA.

Like, get a dog or a goldfish.

Or fuck a female and have your own kid.

Oh yeah, I forgot, everyone has to be gay now and agree with everything everyone else says because freedom of speech isn't allowed.

So you think leaving the kids "in the system" is preferrable over handing them over to be raised by a couple who loves them?

 

[HopelessFight]

Oh yeah, I forgot, everyone has to be gay now and agree with everything everyone else says because freedom of speech isn't allowed.

No, you are born as gay, which is a fact that has nothing to do with freedom of speech.

OP is clearly struggling and all you're doing is making it worse. Don't listen to this guy please.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Why hasn't Nico been banned yet? @RainAndSadness?

 

[HopelessFight]

Please get out of this topic. OP is clearly struggling with this and is looking for support. You are making his suffering worse.

It looks like you're from the UK. It's a shame such bigotry is still around in such country.

 

[Lostandlooking]

We seem to be going a bit off topic here. The question is how to live. And it doesn't have a simple answer. I tried meditation for a couple of years. You have to pick something that kinda suits you. For some exercise might work. If your specific problem is with relationships you might try (at your own pace) to make connections even if it hasn't worked yet and even if they fail often. If you succeed there'll be room for confidence to grow.

About the depression that comes with the triggers; I read someone else's post somewhere on here and they described the depression as waves. I felt that was helpful, you need to ride the waves. There's no choice and it sucks. Don't know if it's enough to want to stay alive though.

 

[lunargreenx]

Your triggers are seeing people having an actual human connection which for most of us, we long for, but gave up since it's futile. You have a vision, you see yourself wanting those things, and because you're 20, you have the time to do those things and eventually human connection falls into place. You'll be put into situations where you have to communicate. Are you socially anxious? Do you know when you first started getting triggered?

I am not socially anxious, no. I don't have any other issues. Just being really unhappy for so many years. I just can't seem to go on. My lack of frienships is not entirely true - meaning I do have one colleague who I talk to, but I don't like when she talks about "those mental people" (meaning gays). And precisely these kind of things prevented me from having a relationships that I consider meaningful.

 

[lunargreenx]

You've heard of mummy issues and daddy issues right?

I thought so.
I'm just trying to get OP to reconsider other options, because I don't agree with it.

It's unnatural, I understand being gay can't be helped if you have that type of brain, but, a same sex couple 'having a child' is odd.

It's like kids who aren't given genders, fucking hell, dafuq up with that
You got a cock you're male, pussy you're female - if you want a sex change then fair enough, but wait till you're older, jheeze

You think UK is bad, go to Saudi

You think UK is bad, go to Saudi

@lunargreenx I'm glad you want to live though, that's great!

And I've got nada against your sexual preferences, I've tried both so can't be a hypocrite.

I just don't agree with the whole gay family thing, but hey, don't listen to me, you do you.

✌

If I live, I will have a husband and I will have kids. I am trying to get away precisely from people with your "opinions". And I am suicidal partly because of it.

 

[Nicothe13th]

You do you dude, God bless

 

[Symbiote]

I am not socially anxious, no. I don't have any other issues. Just being really unhappy for so many years. I just can't seem to go on. My lack of frienships is not entirely true - meaning I do have one colleague who I talk to, but I don't like when she talks about "those mental people" (meaning gays). And precisely these kind of things prevented me from having a relationships that I consider meaningful.

Probably not the right kind of person to talk to if they think that way. It's hard to find meaningful connections with people. You roll with the punches, the rejections, and you'll find a few people that you stick close to. College helped me a bit with getting friends and I had a good group of people to hang with for awhile until after we all graduated, now it's just a one or two I still talk to. Do you have any hobbies? I like to cycle, sometimes with a group too.

 

[GarageKarate07]

I've seen the questions. How do you hang yourself? What's the easiest way?

The real question for me is : How do I live?

Because I really want to.

I am 20 year old gay man wanting to start a family, live the most boring life imaginable. I am having a chance to go to university and maybe then migrate to better country in which a person with my *circumstances* is able to live like a normal human.

The goal however is hard to achieve due to my stupid sensitivity.

Everything around me is a trigger. I see people holding hands. I see REAL friendships. I see families. And as I see this, I wonder how could they have something I do not. Something that should be taken for granted. I am suffering for long 20 years of my life and I've never been happy. I experience severe depression if I see this "trigger", which as you may guess is pretty often.

Everyday it's getting harder and harder. And I am asking myself, while looking at my suicide poison in a sealed bag: Why am I still fighting?

Do not hang out in the suicide thread...unless you want to vent. Go directly to the recovery and post there and read what those folks are doing. There are people just like you there! I read the recovery before I signed up but its not for me. You will find more help there. You will see more depressing and hard topics in the suicide threads. It might be a good idea to just not read them to keep yourself in an uplifted mood. You can do this! You are strong and good and loving and you can figure all of the problems of life out and live a great and positive life for yourself! You are a great person! Do not give up and keep trying! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU ARE AWESOME! ❤ ❤ ❤

 

[WornOutLife]

I'll just ignore the homophobic comments and try to answer this thread's question: HOW DO YOU LIVE?

Well, I've started feeling like giving life one more shot so here's what I do:

-Know what my life goals are. For instance, I don't want a family so if I ever date seriously someone, that person will have to think like me.

-I'm conscious about the fact I will always be suicidal. This helps me lots

-I have hobbies. This is literally saving my life. You know, gaming, learning languages, working out, etc.

And that's basically the way I live. I might have not added some other stuff which is necessary such as money or obvious things.

I'm kinda humble. Don't need that much stuff to be happy, just a stable mind lol.

Hugs and wish you the best, pal.

PS: Ignore comments from people with a mentality from previous centuries. It is not worh wasting your time on them.

 

[Tbest]

Wow im sorry for what just happened, you just asked a question and another person for no reason decided to show its backwards beliefs even tho it has nothing to do with the thread. I hope you can find an answer to this question and achieve your goals

 

[StuckAF]

I've seen the questions. How do you hang yourself? What's the easiest way?

The real question for me is : How do I live?

Because I really want to.

I am 20 year old gay man wanting to start a family, live the most boring life imaginable. I am having a chance to go to university and maybe then migrate to better country in which a person with my *circumstances* is able to live like a normal human.

The goal however is hard to achieve due to my stupid sensitivity.

Everything around me is a trigger. I see people holding hands. I see REAL friendships. I see families. And as I see this, I wonder how could they have something I do not. Something that should be taken for granted. I am suffering for long 20 years of my life and I've never been happy. I experience severe depression if I see this "trigger", which as you may guess is pretty often.

Everyday it's getting harder and harder. And I am asking myself, while looking at my suicide poison in a sealed bag: Why am I still fighting?

Omg I deal with this daily I feel you I am exactly in that Situation. Gay and lonely

 

[ZardozOmega]

I also have these triggers, and I really don't know how to deal with them at all. What I do is avoid most social interactions. Can't be triggered if you don't expose yourself to other people, right?
It's not ideal and healthy, though.

Some countries will take you in if you're a LGBT person living in a homophobic country, so you could try that.

 

[Nicothe13th]

Omg I deal with this daily I feel you I am exactly in that Situation. Gay and lonely

I think you'd be best to move to michigan or somewhere like that in the U.S.A.

 

[StuckAF]

My best option is to kill myself. I also hate my height and looks even more than being gay. I have all the curses

 

[Nicothe13th]

I also have these triggers, and I really don't know how to deal with them at all. What I do is avoid most social interactions. Can't be triggered if you don't expose yourself to other people, right?
It's not ideal and healthy, though.

Some countries will take you in if you're a LGBT person living in a homophobic country, so you could try that.

You tried pussy though bruh?

I've done bits with both, and everything about chicks is hotter.

Perhaps you just haven't explored enough yet and that's why you're uncomfortable with your sexuality.

My best option is to kill myself. I also hate my height and looks even more than being gay. I have all the curses

You look a lot like a cartoon character man, I'm ngl

 

[StuckAF]

No being gay sucks and makes u less of a man and a loser thats my opinion. Also I am short so I don't think girls want a 165cm short manlet. No one takes me srsly nor respects me my career will be also affected if I even finish uni at all. I am living life on hard mode. Fuck this shitty place. I have been suicidal for a long time I just can't get a method. Sn ordered but never reached cuz it's illegal for private use. No place to hang. So either train drowning or jumping.

 

[ZardozOmega]

You tried pussy though bruh?

I've done bits with both, and everything about chicks is hotter.

Perhaps you just haven't explored enough yet and that's why you're uncomfortable with your sexuality.

You look a lot like a cartoon character man, I'm ngl

I'm not uncomfortable with my sexually. It's one of the few things about me that I'm on good terms with. You could replace my gayness with heterosexuality and I'd still be suicidal. My problems are a bit deeper than 'gay bad'

 

[LittleJem]

I've seen the questions. How do you hang yourself? What's the easiest way?

The real question for me is : How do I live?

Because I really want to.

I am 20 year old gay man wanting to start a family, live the most boring life imaginable. I am having a chance to go to university and maybe then migrate to better country in which a person with my *circumstances* is able to live like a normal human.

The goal however is hard to achieve due to my stupid sensitivity.

Everything around me is a trigger. I see people holding hands. I see REAL friendships. I see families. And as I see this, I wonder how could they have something I do not. Something that should be taken for granted. I am suffering for long 20 years of my life and I've never been happy. I experience severe depression if I see this "trigger", which as you may guess is pretty often.

Everyday it's getting harder and harder. And I am asking myself, while looking at my suicide poison in a sealed bag: Why am I still fighting?

Hello, all I know is that there definitely gay men that have families and it sounds like you have a route where you can move to a country where you can have that life. That is worth a try I'm sure. In the UK we have a website called Pollen Tree and some other websites where people wanting children can match up and have them, and there are both gay and hetero people on there.

If you really want to live, then give yourself the best chance and live your dream. I really hope this works out for you.

 

[Nicothe13th]

No being gay sucks and makes u less of a man and a loser thats my opinion. Also I am short so I don't think girls want a 165cm short manlet. No one takes me srsly nor respects me my career will be also affected if I even finish uni at all. I am living life on hard mode. Fuck this shitty place. I have been suicidal for a long time I just can't get a method. Sn ordered but never reached cuz it's illegal for private use. No place to hang. So either train drowning or jumping.

That's not true Bart, it's pretty normal these days, people won't really give a fuck.

I think you'd have more luck finding a girl of similar height than a guy? But I have no evidence to back that up, that's a guess.

Also, plenty of chicks are into role reversal and shit these days, just gotta be open and honest.

There's CO too, I'd recommend it over most tbf, it's on par with SN and probably harder to fuck up.

 

[ZardozOmega]

That's not true Bart, it's pretty normal these days, people won't really give a fuck.

I think you'd have more luck finding a girl of similar height than a guy? But I have no evidence to back that up, that's a guess.

Also, plenty of chicks are into role reversal and shit these days, just gotta be open and honest.

There's CO too, I'd recommend it over most tbf, it's on par with SN and probably harder to fuck up.

straight women care more about height than gay man, i reckon

 

[ZardozOmega]

I know a creepy, homo teacher who'd probably entertain this with you dude.

Give it a try, you MIGHT find him attractive?

But be warned, he's a negative fuck and you're not allowed an opinion, he is only ever, and always right.

His dog is weak too.

what are you doing?

 

[Nicothe13th]

straight women care more about height than gay man, i reckon

If they're tall, sure.

But there's plenty of bad b's who are vertically challenged.

Hit the gym bro, it's easy getting stacked when you're shorter.

You're better being slightly shorter and jacked, than like so tall you got a hunch back or some shit.

what are you doing?

Just trying to help a fellow earthling, wby?

 

[ZardozOmega]

If they're tall, sure.

But there's plenty of bad b's who are vertically challenged.

Hit the gym bro, it's easy getting stacked when you're shorter.

You're better being slightly shorter and jacked, than like so tall you got a hunch back or some shit.

Just trying to help a fellow earthling, wby?

I genuinely don't understand how offering a creepy dude who can't withstand different opinions can be classified as help. You see, I don't think you're being honest with me. I don't think you want to help. To me, it just looks like you want to shit on gay people.