I use phrases such as "I'm so sorry you're going through that" but only when I am able to follow it up with "I know the pain well". I can only speak for myself of course, but it's not an automatic reply I wheel out, rather, a genuine expression of empathy and an indication that I can relate to their journey.
Most of the clients I treat, present with similar issues to those I've experienced myself, including the struggle of not being taken seriously by doctors. It can be a refreshing change to hear that I know they are not 'making it up' precisely because I have been there and lived it myself.
I often read through patient notes and find patronising phrases and labels such as "pt (patient) uncooperative" or "[doctor's opinion] but he/she refuses to admit that these are the real issues"; or I see the patient is marked as having a personality disorder yet there is no reference to any kind of assessment - such labels can be highly prejudicial and turn off professionals from making a real effort to explore alternative strategies.
There are sadly many terrible and mediocre therapists out there, some who are motivated by money, others who operate on the foolish assumption that a therapeutic relationship is essentially a paint by numbers and if the suggested technique is not working it's the client's fault - shudder, reminds me of certain faith healers blaming the deaths of cancer victims on a lack of belief.
It's difficult to offer hints and tips on finding a good therapist, some openly publish unmoderated reviews (I do this and advocate others to follow suit); with others your best bet is to phone them and get a sense of their modus operandi.
If you've had no luck with the CBT, perhaps look for a therapist offering an alternative such as DBT or EMDR, it's not necessarily just that one set of techniques might suit your needs better than another, but that therapists specialising in alternative treatment paths generally have different approaches and thus it's less likely that you end up seeing one professional after another who all turn to page 87 of their therapy manual and cheerfully recount that you have exhausted their expertise and now it's "up to you".
Of course, it's easy for me to sit here and type these things, believe it or not I do know how difficult the theory is to enact - as a client of a string of useless professionals myself (but a couple of good ones too); and as a professional, I think the best advice one can give is not to tar all professionals with the same brush.
As someone said above as well, if you feel that something your therapist has said is insincere then speak up and tell them - you should always feel comfortable to challenge them or ask them to justify their conclusions. I realise that in practice it isn't always so idealistic, but that's the theory and finding a therapist with who involves you in decisions as opposed to simply imposing them on you can make a great deal of difference.
