Venting I hate this world it has caused me immense pain

[lwlaiet8887]

I wish society would respect the right to die. My mother tried to counsel me today since I had breakdown and that I'd try somethings to better myself and she would support me throughout. Honestly, nothing can fix me at this point I just want the sweet release of death. I tried to explain to her just how much I hate this world and life itself and that I've just had enough of it and wish people would just understand. One of the worst parts about CTB is that there's no widely avaliable peaceful methods and that we can't die in a dignified and controlled way. It's obviously understandable that my mother doesn't want me to die but I am spiritually dead and am in great mental agony. I think just being able to die peacefully is the most merciful thing I could have at this point. My torment is only going to get worse and all my waking days are spent thinking about acquiring CBT resources and staving of pain. My mother is going to have to suffer greatly and my last moments will be in distress. I hate this world and the mental healthy industry is a complete farce full of the most narcissistic, unintelligent, selfish people who walk this earth. Let us die with dignity. I had the misfortune of interacting with some of you cunts recently, even a nurse was apalled at your conduct and said herself that the service is failing. You didn't even have the time to sit down and listen to me explain myself but where so concerned how I managed to obtain illicit substances to kill myself, as if that should be your first priority or that there's this thing called the Internet. I was treated like a thug and "selfish" for trying to kill myself.

The absurdity of everything has driven me to a point of madness where I see no contempt with death, going through the motions, being unsatisfied, having to maintain this body, working like a slave, bringing more off spring into this world just so they can suffer as well, it's all so pointless and grim. Even most "entertainment" is shallow to me but maybe that's because I'm not an overly emotional manchild or your typical bot. I really don't belong here.
And I'm so tired. Not even sleep fixes this shit

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it disgusting how there is a lack of acceptance towards the right to die despite the fact that nobody can suffer from not existing. Pro-life people just cause harm, I despise them but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, it's really understandable just wishing to be free from this hellish world.