dreaming_of_pearl
I miss you I love you I’m sorry
- Jun 10, 2023
- 54
I know Dan and her have a coalition against me it's obvious. They think I'm stupid to an extent especially him I know he looks down on me he thinks he is too good to be a real human being, I didn't sleep much I just had nightmares about all of this.i know I'm being conditioned by society around me to accept anything that happens to me and be like damn I was a bad person, so I will always be in the wrong and I will always apologize just so I can be told I'm not a bad person just hurt and my apologies are bad things, just to be told I need to apologize and I was being a bad person.
My girlfriend doesn't belive me because she thinks people are kind twards bpd individuals like me but the thing is I've been stalked my whole life by individuals hoping I would die and he is one of them he hates me he secretly wishes I could die so he can get with my gf and have sex with her.
He even is a prime example of how bpd people are just forever the bad people no matter what.
I've had evrey. Single. Thing. Taken away from me and used to humiliate me infront of everyone. When I met my gf for the first time and we had sex it was special to me but he came in and did that with her after and did it better then me I know he did she still loves and misses him I did a bad job I can tell she doses and she just doesn't tell me I mean she's getting him a Christmas present. Why would you buy something for somone you don't like.
Anyways she was like ohh you made him uncomfortable by crying and ruined his weekend/ night when it was supposed to be with him and me before you came along and ruined everything for him
.. so for the first time when I do something I ruin everything got it. Even though everything has been taken away from me I'm still the bad guy for taking one peice of candy for myself from the bowl when I have NONE left because everyone took the whole bag from me.
Me crying because I'm in pain is proof it's proof bpd people are MENT to suffer for the entertainment of others to be the scape goat people bond over hatred easier then love after all.
They won't ever care about my tears how evrey time i remember I even have a body i remember seeing the person I fell in love with the most getting railed by somone I only just met. She didn't even love me at the time.
I relive it everyday and nobody cares but I'm still just a bad person for ruining it all
Mabye if I killed myself on a live stream they would see how bad it hurt. If I cut myself it's just for attention obviously and I'm not hurtin the only way to prove my pain is suicide right infront of them. But yet I would still be the bad guy for proving I'm in pain.
People hate me
My girlfriend doesn't belive me because she thinks people are kind twards bpd individuals like me but the thing is I've been stalked my whole life by individuals hoping I would die and he is one of them he hates me he secretly wishes I could die so he can get with my gf and have sex with her.
He even is a prime example of how bpd people are just forever the bad people no matter what.
I've had evrey. Single. Thing. Taken away from me and used to humiliate me infront of everyone. When I met my gf for the first time and we had sex it was special to me but he came in and did that with her after and did it better then me I know he did she still loves and misses him I did a bad job I can tell she doses and she just doesn't tell me I mean she's getting him a Christmas present. Why would you buy something for somone you don't like.
Anyways she was like ohh you made him uncomfortable by crying and ruined his weekend/ night when it was supposed to be with him and me before you came along and ruined everything for him
.. so for the first time when I do something I ruin everything got it. Even though everything has been taken away from me I'm still the bad guy for taking one peice of candy for myself from the bowl when I have NONE left because everyone took the whole bag from me.
Me crying because I'm in pain is proof it's proof bpd people are MENT to suffer for the entertainment of others to be the scape goat people bond over hatred easier then love after all.
They won't ever care about my tears how evrey time i remember I even have a body i remember seeing the person I fell in love with the most getting railed by somone I only just met. She didn't even love me at the time.
I relive it everyday and nobody cares but I'm still just a bad person for ruining it all
Mabye if I killed myself on a live stream they would see how bad it hurt. If I cut myself it's just for attention obviously and I'm not hurtin the only way to prove my pain is suicide right infront of them. But yet I would still be the bad guy for proving I'm in pain.
People hate me
