I hate therapy especially reframing

[Tintypographer]

I've been in therapy for many years and I hate it. I can't stand the fact that the goal of it is simply to change your outlook on a situation to somehow stop depression. I go into the sessions with the absolutely number one goal being that I don't want to reframe the situation, I want to start with the idea that I'm depressed, I have pain, I dislike who I am and how my life is and work to fix it. What do I want: I want to magically fix my situation without altering anyone else's life, completely avoiding any tough conversations or boundaries and avoid trying to reframe things in a more positive light. I don't want any cognitive crap, I want a solution to the actual problem, not restating it. In engineering we don't say "the bridge fell down but try to see it in a positive; at least you don't have to clean the bridge! Yippee!". In medicine you don't say, "well you have a tumor but at least you get to have a big lump in your body!".

In cognitive you have a shit life, you hate who you are, you hate your job, your spouse, your family and wish you were dead all the time and the best a 150 buck per 45 min doc can do is say "why do you think you are feeling bad?" Then when you explain the above they ask "so if you can't change your situation what is one positive thought you can have?"

Seriously? What do I want???? I want to go back in time and fix all the fucked up mistakes I made or die.

 

[WornOutLife]

I hate it too.
I know it works for some people but damn, having a random guy/woman telling me "things will get better" "you only have to be more positive" "life is precious" is just A JOKE for me.

 

[Celerity]

I have also found therapy to be a waste of time and money. If it can be effective at all, I think it's due to to having a sympathetic ear and feeling less lonely, not the therapy itself.

 

[I want to end it]

If you're getting a poor service, the best thing you can do is stop immediately. Stop giving these people your money. That goes for everyone on this forum who is dissatisfied with therapy. You would not accept a poor service anywhere else, so why accept a poor service with this?

 

[nopointofliving]

People on SS help me more than anyone could. I think therapists should join this forum and learn better techniques from SS users.

 

[watchingthewheels]

What do I want: I want to magically fix my situation

Let me know how that works out...

 

[saltshaker]

Therapy is a fucking joke

 

[Mohkinstsis_falls]

here's how I made reframing work, if it helps.

if ever I was upset by something, i was taught to pause and reflect in that moment. think of it as going from the perspective of the actor on the set to the director behind the camera. or like those workplace training tapes where someone does something wrong, then the freeze-frame cuts to "How could this have been done better?". it doesn't make me feel that much better in the moment, but it helps me track what went wrong that day.

there's a certain amount of derealization involved, so some may find that unhelpful, but it's helped me understand why i feel the way i feel.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate the idea of therapy. I think personally for me, I think the way I am feeling is rational for my life situation. Therapy implies that this way of thinking needs to be changed. I just think it is useful for certain people and fixable problems, but some problems are too complex that talking will do nothing for. There is no way to change the way my brain is wired so therapy isn't useful.

 

[TowerUpright]

Im a pretty pessimistic person. And I get that a lot of people including me don't look too often at the positives going on.

But to assume there's a bright side to everything or to ignore what's really going on in the world BB both dismisses our reality and disrespects us as an individual.

You're right: engineers and medical staff don't have this default notion reframing circumstances in the most positive way possible. But you know who does?? Fucking political scientists and spin doctors. Professions which, arguably, make the world a much worse place.