I hate that I can't do anything

[snooperdooper]

All I do every single day is just sit at my computer and try to find something fun to do. Something to occupy my brain and waste time. I never do. I am always just endlessly scrolling and nothing can keep my attention long enough and nothing is fun. It's horrible, and I hate it. I don't do anything for the hours I'm awake then I go to bed to just repeat the same thing over and over again. I can't even find the will to plan out my suicide, because the only method available to me is so difficult to obtain and my parents took it away last time.

Ugh, I hate it. I hateeeeeeee it

 

[TheEmeraldWitch]

All I do every single day is just sit at my computer and try to find something fun to do. Something to occupy my brain and waste time. I never do. I am always just endlessly scrolling and nothing can keep my attention long enough and nothing is fun. It's horrible, and I hate it. I don't do anything for the hours I'm awake then I go to bed to just repeat the same thing over and over again. I can't even find the will to plan out my suicide, because the only method available to me is so difficult to obtain and my parents took it away last time.

Ugh, I hate it. I hateeeeeeee it

Hugsss. I feel every part of what you said. It's so hopeless losing everything you used to love and care about even though it's right there at your fingertips still. Games. Film. Writing. Art that makes you think and feel all devalued to nothing due to our broken minds. Even relationships. Sooner or later nothing provides an escape from complete and utter disillusionment and hopelessness in the world, existence. My mind just refuses completely to engage with any part of this charade but I continue to be incapable of going thru successfully with the only real escape and even then my spiritual metaphysical understanding suggests I'd just end up in another body. Hopefully one with an upbringing better suited to not breaking