MiseryWithoutCompany
Doggo Good, Doggo Great
- Oct 1, 2020
- 62
I usually keep my rants and vents to my own personal profile, but I had a lot to say that went beyond the usual character limit. I apologize in advance for this post- anyone I tried talking to about this doesn't believe me. Ever.
Being a person of my configuration comes with its set of stereotypes and expectations, as everyone else has to deal with as well. I don't fit any of these stereotypes or roles, and often times people try their hardest to attach some form of label onto me, in order to have me abide by their rules and their regulations, all the while not listening to what it is I'd like to go by. Whether it's gender, romantic and such forms of attraction, or race - people just assume that I fall under some vague set of guidlines and I'm misinformed and need to be corrected to further resort to putting myself into all of these behavioral notches.
First off, my race.
I'm a spaghetti of ethnicities and accents mixed into one. I identify as a human, and just a human. I don't care for filing myself in this or that. My ancestors were Irish, Native American. and African. That left me with lighter skin than my biological brother (same two parents), an odd tone to my skin, reddish-brown hair with blonde hair sprinkled everywhere, and small lips. I don't know what the hell I look like to everyone else most of the time, but I don't care. My hair is a curly afro, and I'm under 5ft tall.
For the sake of... token membership, sometimes I'm labeled as "black". But when my presence threatens someone's cause, I'm "not black enough". It bounces so frequently between the two that it resulted in me viciously hating my "own race" of black people. The type of music they listen to, the traditions of most African Americans, I hate it all. The Native Americans in my family had their culture obliterated and replaced with the run-of-the-mill AA culture, with no recollection to their past cultures and practices. I've been told that any attempts to reconnect with my tribe would be shot down immediately. I just don't look the part. I look like nobody. I'm just a bargaining chip on either side - a POC who is part of a "cause" (no I'm not???) or the token POC friend that lets some non-POCs have an N pass.
My gender? I'm just... cis. Cis female. I don't care to further explore that because I already did in my early 20's. I don't give a shit about gender roles - if I want to run around dressed from head to toe in gender neutral clothing and get called a little boy, fine! I don't care! Most of my time is spent inside my house with my dog, who doesn't give a shit either, and I'd prefer not to wear pants if I can help it? But when I had attempted to make a new friend, this... nonchalant manner of handling being misgendered by strangers every now and then, made them think "you're actually nonbinary, or some other form of trans". They even told me they'd only commission me under the pretense that I was "gender queer" because of their own personal rule of only financially supporting gender nonconforming artists. And when I fought that, they persisted.
There's this nasty stigma that surrounds minorities, that portrays them as the do-no-wrong angelic group being wrongfully oppressed. Sometimes? The assholes come from within too. It isn't the only time it has happened either - any time I mention that I'm cisfemale, I get in response "oh, I thought you were trans". I do have sex dysphoria. Know why? Most of my medical problems stem from my period. My attempte at CTB have always been because of the heavy mood swings coming from PMS. i hate those organs and I'd have them removed if my country wasn't so backwards about female sterilization.
I'm not fucking trans.
I'm not gender queer. Stop calling me that shit, just because it helps along whatever agender that's most beneficial. I can be cisgendered and not adhere to my gender role all I fucking want. No, I will not be a pawn in this bogus chess game for either side. Leave me the fuck out of it! I don't want specialized labels, and I will hate anyone who thinks they have the right to categorize me for their own convenience!
My sexuality has been under similar scrutiny. I'm hetero, but primarily asexual and aromantic. That's the only words I can use to get through to people. I hate humankind enough to never want a relationship again. My last ones were such a disrespect to me as a person that I'd rather not ever get caught up in someone else's attempts to explore their preferences or become a source of attraction for their lolicon-inspired motvies. No! Do I find fictional characters attractive? Sure! But they don't fucking exist. Them not existing is the absolute selling point. Fictional characters will never let me down. Do I see myself as partaking in any reproductive dance? No. I hate my bits and I hate physical contact anywhere with humans. Can I find a female character attractive? Yes. But no I'm not a fucking lesbian. I hate all people equally. Women included. Lesbians hitting on me with the intent of changing my mind is just as bad as men doing it, or other people of different genders. Stay away from me, and leave me alone.
If I could have it my way, my only interaction with the human race would be through the internet. I don't want their scent or sweaty, clammy hands touching me with their personalized bacteria cultivations covering their visage. I'd rather live with dogs who seem incapable of judging me for anything other than my actions, and never be around another human again. Enough with politics, enough with them versus us. I don't want to be singled out or grouped together ever again.
I don't share a kinship with any of those people and I never will.
I fucking hate stereotypes.
Being a person of my configuration comes with its set of stereotypes and expectations, as everyone else has to deal with as well. I don't fit any of these stereotypes or roles, and often times people try their hardest to attach some form of label onto me, in order to have me abide by their rules and their regulations, all the while not listening to what it is I'd like to go by. Whether it's gender, romantic and such forms of attraction, or race - people just assume that I fall under some vague set of guidlines and I'm misinformed and need to be corrected to further resort to putting myself into all of these behavioral notches.
First off, my race.
I'm a spaghetti of ethnicities and accents mixed into one. I identify as a human, and just a human. I don't care for filing myself in this or that. My ancestors were Irish, Native American. and African. That left me with lighter skin than my biological brother (same two parents), an odd tone to my skin, reddish-brown hair with blonde hair sprinkled everywhere, and small lips. I don't know what the hell I look like to everyone else most of the time, but I don't care. My hair is a curly afro, and I'm under 5ft tall.
For the sake of... token membership, sometimes I'm labeled as "black". But when my presence threatens someone's cause, I'm "not black enough". It bounces so frequently between the two that it resulted in me viciously hating my "own race" of black people. The type of music they listen to, the traditions of most African Americans, I hate it all. The Native Americans in my family had their culture obliterated and replaced with the run-of-the-mill AA culture, with no recollection to their past cultures and practices. I've been told that any attempts to reconnect with my tribe would be shot down immediately. I just don't look the part. I look like nobody. I'm just a bargaining chip on either side - a POC who is part of a "cause" (no I'm not???) or the token POC friend that lets some non-POCs have an N pass.
My gender? I'm just... cis. Cis female. I don't care to further explore that because I already did in my early 20's. I don't give a shit about gender roles - if I want to run around dressed from head to toe in gender neutral clothing and get called a little boy, fine! I don't care! Most of my time is spent inside my house with my dog, who doesn't give a shit either, and I'd prefer not to wear pants if I can help it? But when I had attempted to make a new friend, this... nonchalant manner of handling being misgendered by strangers every now and then, made them think "you're actually nonbinary, or some other form of trans". They even told me they'd only commission me under the pretense that I was "gender queer" because of their own personal rule of only financially supporting gender nonconforming artists. And when I fought that, they persisted.
There's this nasty stigma that surrounds minorities, that portrays them as the do-no-wrong angelic group being wrongfully oppressed. Sometimes? The assholes come from within too. It isn't the only time it has happened either - any time I mention that I'm cisfemale, I get in response "oh, I thought you were trans". I do have sex dysphoria. Know why? Most of my medical problems stem from my period. My attempte at CTB have always been because of the heavy mood swings coming from PMS. i hate those organs and I'd have them removed if my country wasn't so backwards about female sterilization.
I'm not fucking trans.
I'm not gender queer. Stop calling me that shit, just because it helps along whatever agender that's most beneficial. I can be cisgendered and not adhere to my gender role all I fucking want. No, I will not be a pawn in this bogus chess game for either side. Leave me the fuck out of it! I don't want specialized labels, and I will hate anyone who thinks they have the right to categorize me for their own convenience!
My sexuality has been under similar scrutiny. I'm hetero, but primarily asexual and aromantic. That's the only words I can use to get through to people. I hate humankind enough to never want a relationship again. My last ones were such a disrespect to me as a person that I'd rather not ever get caught up in someone else's attempts to explore their preferences or become a source of attraction for their lolicon-inspired motvies. No! Do I find fictional characters attractive? Sure! But they don't fucking exist. Them not existing is the absolute selling point. Fictional characters will never let me down. Do I see myself as partaking in any reproductive dance? No. I hate my bits and I hate physical contact anywhere with humans. Can I find a female character attractive? Yes. But no I'm not a fucking lesbian. I hate all people equally. Women included. Lesbians hitting on me with the intent of changing my mind is just as bad as men doing it, or other people of different genders. Stay away from me, and leave me alone.
If I could have it my way, my only interaction with the human race would be through the internet. I don't want their scent or sweaty, clammy hands touching me with their personalized bacteria cultivations covering their visage. I'd rather live with dogs who seem incapable of judging me for anything other than my actions, and never be around another human again. Enough with politics, enough with them versus us. I don't want to be singled out or grouped together ever again.
I don't share a kinship with any of those people and I never will.
I fucking hate stereotypes.
