fallingbehind
Passed down like folk songs
- Mar 22, 2025
- 152
Its actually debilitating. It feels like a hot iron to the face when I force myself to interact during university (group projects, course work etc).
For context I tried to be a people pleaser when I was growing up because I thought if people liked me, then I would find joy and fulfilment which I couldnt find in anything else. I think this doormat, submissive personality I created has made me very misanthropic. Its awful even listening to other people talk about whatever shit they talk about. Does this make me a narc? Or childish? I guess so. I hate myself more than I hate others, but Im incredibly judgemental and cant tolerate people outside of forced interactions. The only person I chat with casually is my dad.
For context I tried to be a people pleaser when I was growing up because I thought if people liked me, then I would find joy and fulfilment which I couldnt find in anything else. I think this doormat, submissive personality I created has made me very misanthropic. Its awful even listening to other people talk about whatever shit they talk about. Does this make me a narc? Or childish? I guess so. I hate myself more than I hate others, but Im incredibly judgemental and cant tolerate people outside of forced interactions. The only person I chat with casually is my dad.
