Venting I hate people but im a people pleaser

[Gloomislost]

I hate that I have molded myself into this "upbeat, always okay, happy 24/7" person, when it is so draining for me. I'm glad that people like me but if that "everything is fine" mask slips off for just a second, I'm labeled as "Rude, a jerk, mood killer"
I'm sorry I can't be happy all the time. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as everyone wants me to be.
And it's not like I can just suddenly change my attitude because what if I lose everyone? For now I'll keep up this act until I'm ready to leave this world.

 

[Hollowman]

In a world where there's so much to be unhappy about it's bizarre that people are expected to be in a good mood most of the time.

 

[Daxter_87]

I'm so sorry. Normal people usually don't understand very well how it feels to be thoroughly sad or depressed, as their delusions are strong enough to keep them safe in their happy bubble - at least until some tragedy bursts it.

And no, you aren't being rude, a jerk or a mood killer for feeling miserable; if anything, they are the insensitive ones. I, too, have dealt with those sort of people in the past, and I know how obnoxious and invalidating it feels to be told such bullshit.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

You don't need to be sorry for being sad. Sometimes being an asshole can help release the suppressed emotion.

 

[Gloomislost]

In a world where there's so much to be unhappy about it's bizarre that people are expected to be in a good mood most of the time.

Right? Like I can't fucking do this shit anymore, just give me ONE day where I can stop making my face twitch from the constant smiling.

I'm so sorry. Normal people usually don't understand very well how it feels to be thoroughly sad or depressed, as their delusions are strong enough to keep them safe in their happy bubble - at least until some tragedy bursts it.

And no, you aren't being rude, a jerk or a mood killer for feeling miserable; if anything, they are the insensitive ones. I, too, have dealt with those sort of people in the past, and I know how obnoxious and invalidating it feels to be told such bullshit.

Tell me about it. What sucks is that I mostly hear it from my best friend and I don't say anything but agree to change because I've constantly hurt his feelings because of my mood or actions.

You don't need to be sorry for being sad. Sometimes being an asshole can help release the suppressed emotion.

You're right, I just don't want to come off as a dick and them hating me for an off day.

 

[ANONYMOUSM]

it is ok to be an asshole and they shouldn't hate you because of it masking is so draining and people shouldn't expect you to be happy 24/7

 

[Gloomislost]

Y

it is ok to be an asshole and they shouldn't hate you because of it masking is so draining and people shouldn't expect you to be happy 24/7

Yeah true but I've just been learning to deal and manage with it. I don't really "care" about myself but if he's happy then I'm happy.

 

[flypno]

the title fits 100% to me.
i hate most the people around me and i wouldn´t even talk to them, if it´s not necesseray. Unfortunatley, i am a shiftleader in logistics, so it´s not that easy to avoid contact.
i do my best to help the people around me. even if they never appreciate my troubles.
It feels like nobody appreciates the troubles i´m going thru.

And that, ladys and gentlemen, could be the reason why i´m here.

 

[Green_leaf]

Please them all with hate.

 

[Gloomislost]

the title fits 100% to me.
i hate most the people around me and i wouldn´t even talk to them, if it´s not necesseray. Unfortunatley, i am a shiftleader in logistics, so it´s not that easy to avoid contact.
i do my best to help the people around me. even if they never appreciate my troubles.
It feels like nobody appreciates the troubles i´m going thru.

And that, ladys and gentlemen, could be the reason why i´m here.

You get it !! If socializing wasn't such an important thing to get through life, I wouldn't do it. And now I'm stuck with friends who'll never understand how draining it is to be "100%" every day.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I hate that I have molded myself into this "upbeat, always okay, happy 24/7" person, when it is so draining for me. I'm glad that people like me but if that "everything is fine" mask slips off for just a second, I'm labeled as "Rude, a jerk, mood killer"
I'm sorry I can't be happy all the time. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as everyone wants me to be.
And it's not like I can just suddenly change my attitude because what if I lose everyone? For now I'll keep up this act until I'm ready to leave this world.

Surely those who insult you are the ones being rude, or being a "jerk"? Considering that they only seem concerned with you pleasing them and their needs, but do not try to do the same for you. Have they considered that perhaps the reason you are in a low mood, is because you are worn out from constantly trying to meet their unrealistic expectations that they have of you?

Secondly: nobody feels perfect (emotionally) all of the time; even if this was possible it should not be expected of you. It is guaranteed that those who criticize or berate you experience periods in their life in which they have (or had) a low mood, but they lack the self-awareness to realize this. It is very similar to people who mock others for having a so-called "resting bitch face", and yet in most cases it is the people with scowling faces who are the ones doing the mocking; unfriendly people complaining of others being unfriendly - ironic.

In short: there is nothing wrong with feeling down, or not feeling up to being "chatty".

 

[Gloomislost]

I wish it was that easy to just communicate about it but no one wants to hear that they're in the wrong. Especially if you're struggling yourself and you're being told "you're not a good friend." I don't want my friend to feel like he's not good enough. So I'm just accepting everything that comes my way because I'd rather be sad then others be sad.