Venting I hate panic attacks

[anonymousfoxxo]

I don't want to make this long. I'm too tired... I just need to let it out... I just absolutely hate them. . .

They keep coming over me randomly and I completely dissociate from myself and everything turns scary and I have to keep fighting my thoughts and myself and it's so much pain to handle both mentally and physically and it lasts so long too and it's absolutely horrible....

I am taking a shit ton of medication to stop this exact fucking thing and even though it is better than it was it still happens way too often and I am absolutely devastated... I just want this shit to end...

I wish someone could help me... I wish someone could just shoot me in the head... I wish I could just leave this world behind without hurting my family... There's not a single reason other than my family that I haven't CTB yet. And the absolute pain I'm feeling each day is making me really really consider doing CTB very soon.

I want to be gone... So I don't have to live in pain... Forever... And beyond... I hate being here... Please... Help me.......

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd just wish to be free from all the suffering, existence really is too cruel, it's so dreadful how people have to suffer so extremely. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[Z-A]

Xanax helps me preventing them from happening again. But I still hate it. I understand you very well. All this unnecessary suffering has to end.

 

[anonymousfoxxo]

Thank you for your kind words and support everyone!