Therapy is just a tool like any other. Is there shame in driving a car to get somewhere instead of walking? Or using a washing machine or dishwasher instead of washing by hand?
Even if you go to therapy you're still doing the bulk of the work yourself.
You're showing a lot of empowerment by assessing what you need and doing something about it.
No one can do everything alone even if it is just being taught something.
What a great way of looking at things! I value your perspective.
Having awareness of this is huge. In my Jeebus loving days, I remember a quote we used from the Bible: "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." My guess is that few people recover substantially alone. So it sounds like you're on the right track, as painful as it may be.
Thank you!
Typically I shame myself for feeling ashamed, or procrastinate for feeling ashamed/fearful/embarrassed, which leads to more shame and further procrastination. Some weird circular logic right? This approach clearly isn't working. I'm trying to instead get to the root of my shame, so I can overcome it and find a practical solution. Old habits die hard, so it will take time to stick I think.
I like that you point out how painful it is to seek help. I think that's another reason I usually avoid it. So I'm trying to remember that while it may be painful in the short term, it will probably help me cope with pain in the long run. Avoiding pain works short term, but it makes shit even worse later on.
That quote is from Ecclesiastes, which starts out declaring that everything is meaningless. Go figure.
I plan to re-read the Bible to heal religious trauma. It's my version of exposure therapy I guess. I'm not reading it in any particular order. It's funny you mention Ecclesiastes. I intend to read it when I'm done with psalms, precisely because it argues life is meaningless lol.
I stopped seeing my therapist a couple months ago. After a year with her she just kept bringing everything back to my childhood, and trying to analyze it, as if I'm not well aware of the roots of my problems. It just made me feel worse and gross after every session… so I stopped.
I don't blame you for ending services with that therapist. I had a psychiatrist like that in the hospital. I wasn't a fan either.
I've had a lot of sugary therapists in the past, if that makes sense. Different strategies work for different people, but neither of those approaches click for me.
I'm hoping to eventually find a therapist that can more act as a coach, call me out on my shit, and give me practical advice to move forward opposed to just dwelling on the why
Seems we prioritize the same approach. Good luck finding the right fit! I know how agonizing and arduous of a process that can be.
I'm very lucky. My first therapist out of the hospital is exactly like what you described here. He wanted to talk about religion, and I didn't want to, but I realized he was right. Religious trauma dampens my mood. He doesn't push anything on me though. He lets me process things on my own time.
I love therapists who call me out on my bs lol
I'd be a fool to fire someone who is a perfect fit. I can't be too hard on myself tho. Therapy isn't exactly fun. Lol
It's like calling someone with no legs weak because they can't walk.
There are people who would, but typically they're bigots, so why should I care?
Thanks everyone. This was like group therapy in a way hehe
