depressedlittleboy

depressedlittleboy

Member
Jul 18, 2023
30
As a kid (before I transitioned) I remember being called princess and being told that I'm a princess lovingly by my teachers and that made me feel wonderful, that I have worth, that I'm special, that I matter, and that I'm not just anybody and that I will be something big in life and the world. Being told by my parents "you're not a princess" "you are my daughter you are my baby girl. That's better than being a princess, it's better than being a queen, it's better than being famous." And "No you're even better than a princess alot of princesses they're not very nice." Didn't help at all with my low self esteem it promoted it and made it worse it triggered me made me feel worthless, that I'm nothing, not special and I'm just anybody and that I don't matter and that I'm not and will never be anything big in life and the world. I was struggling with low self esteem a distorted self image and no thick skin because of chloemay16 who cyberbullied me on deviantart and that didn't help at all. It made me feel that all the things chloemay16 said about me are true and that I deserved to be treated the way that she treated me and that I'm as bad as she is. I'm ideating suicide and am planning to hang myself, stick a fork in an electrical outlet or drink bleach because of chloemay16 who cyberbullied me on deviantart and feeling that I'm not a prince. I'm ideating suicide because of this and because I don't feel man and prince enough or feel that I'm a real prince.
Before I transitioned I was a beautiful sweet princess and now that I'm transitioning I am a handsome sweet prince I want to be a prince it makes me feel that I have worth, that I'm special, makes me feel better about myself. I always wanted to be something since I was little I always wanted to be a prince. I want to be a real prince. I really want to be a real prince or anything closest I can get to it It would make me feel better about myself and that I have worth am meant to be something big in life and the world and am special. It really hurts me to know that the fantastical world promised to us as kids is all a lie and to sugarcoat the harsh cruel world we live in where we can only be what society says can be I want to live somewhere better than that and it makes me ideate suicide.
 
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