I hate my skin so much

[betternever2havbeen]

I have horrible skin. I've kinda come to terms with it because compared to all my other problems it's not that big a deal, but it seems to be getting worse and every time I look in the mirror I could just cry. I see other women out and about wearing summer dresses and I've never been able to do that, not since maybe my early teens anyway. Like I don't know if they realise how lucky they are to just be able to go out and look good in a dress or shorts. Everyone I see looks like they have flawless skin that I'm actually in awe what it must be like to have nice skin. But I guess this is normal? Just not for me

I have very mottled skin, not been diagnosed with anything but probably some sort of autoimmune disorder, or poor circulation. I also developed Raynauds recently I think. My skin is just mottled red or purple all over unless I'm really hot. My feet are purple or red and I have broken capillaries all over them. I also have the worst dark circles under my eyes so I only feel comfortable going out wearing my glasses and covered head to foot.

It's not my only reason to CTB (probably like number 6 on the list-I legit have that many reasons) but I just wish I could be normal. I also have scars from stupid shit I did as a teenager (not self harm) I put this corrosive stuff on my skin that was supposed to get rid of moles, not knowing it'd scar my skin instead. I still question my judgement today for being so stupid back then. I've had surgery and laser and it's just made everything worse-now I have fat loss in one area too from the laser.

No one wants to date a woman with scars on her face and purple skin! There is barely an inch of skin I wouldn't be self-conscious of. I finally got to a place where I was happy with my size (I used to be a bit overweight) but I still can't ever wear a dress or bikini because of my ugly skin. I wonder if my life could've been different in that I'd actually have been able to enjoy parts of life if I didn't hate how I looked so much. I could've been attractive, I could've had a life.

Sorry I just had to vent.

 

[Dmoore3232]

Same, I dropped out of high school from it and have never had a job during the day.

So get this, I think I figured it out.

Amitriptyline
Also Doxepin and Prozac.

Perhaps Prozac during the day, amitriptyline before bed. I use amitriptyline now. I need a prozac prescription. I had been using 50 mg for amitriptyline that is too much for me though, it knocks me out so I am thinking 25 mg.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9584846/

Also NAC helps, Vitamin D for immune regulation, flavonoids like quercetin, hespiridin, and rutin which you need with fat like yogurt because they are fat soluble. vitamin C is good for skin too, also B vitamins.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@Dmoore3232 oh wow, you have the same thing? You have my sympathy. I've been extra depressed about my skin lately, maybe because it's been quite cold this week in the UK but I've still been wearing a T-shirt at home so I noticed my arms were just all red and blotchy worse than usual and thought it was getting worse. Time to cover up even at home in July so even I don't have to see the ugliness. Maybe if I moved to a hot country my skin would be better, seems kind of drastic though! I love how anytime I read up about whatever disorder I have it seems like no big deal because the poor circulation just goes away when you're not cold-well I'm almost ALWAYS cold!

I've only worked part-time, I'm not currently working hence why I don't go out if I can help it and stay up all night. I hate to see myself in the cold light of day. Wish I could fix all these things and give life a go but I don't think it's possible, especially the scars they will obviously never go away.
But thank you for the tips and links, I will check them out

 

[madbananas]

I don't have the condition that you have but I get severe eczema and I do feel your pain. My eczema never really disappears, a lot of the time on my face. I'm so sorry you live with this I know how much it can affect your self esteem etc. sending virtual hugs

 

[Dmoore3232]

@Dmoore3232 oh wow, you have the same thing? You have my sympathy. I've been extra depressed about my skin lately, maybe because it's been quite cold this week in the UK but I've still been wearing a T-shirt at home so I noticed my arms were just all red and blotchy worse than usual and thought it was getting worse. Time to cover up even at home in July so even I don't have to see the ugliness. Maybe if I moved to a hot country my skin would be better, seems kind of drastic though! I love how anytime I read up about whatever disorder I have it seems like no big deal because the poor circulation just goes away when you're not cold-well I'm almost ALWAYS cold!

I've only worked part-time, I'm not currently working hence why I don't go out if I can help it and stay up all night. I hate to see myself in the cold light of day. Wish I could fix all these things and give life a go but I don't think it's possible, especially the scars they will obviously never go away.
But thank you for the tips and links, I will check them out

Oh yeah. It is basically the story of my life. I would not worry about red on your arms though, I think I have seen that, that is normal, could be genetics.
For circulation, cacao will help, pure 100% chocolate because of theobromine in it. And if you don't like the weather where you live yeah that is a reason to move.

 

[anhed0nia]

I really sympathize with this. I can't compete with your issues, but I have rosacea that just gets worse all the time and I've had bad reactions to many of the things that supposedly work great for everyone else. I just know how feeling bad about your appearance can be a bigger problem than people think, it's not just a shallow matter of worrying whether people will be attracted to you. For many of us, our appearance is part of the way we express ourselves, how we inhabit our identity, besides more practical concerns like our employability. To some degree I turn to fashion to get around what I hate about my face and body; I have a swimsuit that's almost more like a wetsuit that I love, and I've started treating myself to big eccentric sun hats that are fun to wear at the same time that they protect my deteriorating skin. That may not be what works for you, they're just my thoughts on the matter. Mainly I just really sympathize.

 

[toofargone6969]

Me too. One of the primary reasons I want to off myself. I absolutely despise people who don't have skin issues and think it's our fault and something we're doing wrong to have skin issues. I would give anything to have good skin. Anything.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I don't have the condition that you have but I get severe eczema and I do feel your pain. My eczema never really disappears, a lot of the time on my face. I'm so sorry you live with this I know how much it can affect your self esteem etc. sending virtual hugs

Hugs to you too-eczema must be tough to deal with. That must be so uncomfortable at times as well? I hate how with skin stuff you have to try SO many things and all the creams etc. are super expensive. I've gotten my hopes up so many times about camouflage make-up and creams but they rarely work on my issues. Probably doesn't help I suck at applying make-up anyway lol. I wish someone could invent a cure for bad skin and scars. It's just taken so much of the joy out of life for me, I never felt I could dress like other women, most of the time I don't let it bother me but sometimes I can't help it.

Oh yeah. It is basically the story of my life. I would not worry about red on your arms though, I think I have seen that, that is normal, could be genetics.
For circulation, cacao will help, pure 100% chocolate because of theobromine in it. And if you don't like the weather where you live yeah that is a reason to move.

Did you figure out what caused yours? Thank you I will look into cacao for sure. Yeh I should move but I like the UK (wow did I really say that?!) I just don't like the weather-I guess that's what most people say!

I really sympathize with this. I can't compete with your issues, but I have rosacea that just gets worse all the time and I've had bad reactions to many of the things that supposedly work great for everyone else. I just know how feeling bad about your appearance can be a bigger problem than people think, it's not just a shallow matter of worrying whether people will be attracted to you. For many of us, our appearance is part of the way we express ourselves, how we inhabit our identity, besides more practical concerns like our employability. To some degree I turn to fashion to get around what I hate about my face and body; I have a swimsuit that's almost more like a wetsuit that I love, and I've started treating myself to big eccentric sun hats that are fun to wear at the same time that they protect my deteriorating skin. That may not be what works for you, they're just my thoughts on the matter. Mainly I just really sympathize.

I'm sorry you have skin issues too. Have you tried camouflage make-up? It doesn't work for my scars but it's great for my dark circles and when I used to get the odd spot. I remember seeing it's supposed to cover rosacea too.

I love how you're focusing on fashion. That seems like a good way to deal with your issues. I'm so restricted in what I can wear. I did buy shorts and dresses when I lost weight but there is no way I'd be comfortable wearing them so they just sit in my drawer and wardrobe. Maybe if I got a tan it'd help a bit, or self-tan. I wish I was better at make-up and tanning and all that stuff but I'm hopeless!

Me too. One of the primary reasons I want to off myself. I absolutely despise people who don't have skin issues and think it's our fault and something we're doing wrong to have skin issues. I would give anything to have good skin. Anything.

I would give anything too. I wonder if these people with nice skin know how lucky they are to be able to wear anything and not worry about what they look like.