I hate my life

[SpiderLink]

I feel like all my disability's, work together and Feed the big boss (depression), it's like they're the infinity stones. Each one having power. I'm so eager to heal I just don't know how, and I'm so desperate, and this is so confusing for me at the same time, and sometimes I can't even remember how this developed so badly, but being impluseive and inpatient isn't a good combo. I can't stand this, I want to heal so bad, I don't want to die, I just don't want to continue living like this anymore. Death feels like the only option to me, when I wish it wasn't! I'm hurting so much, and I wish I could talk to my friend right now, I hate living with ADHD, Depression, anxiety, social anxiety, BPD, alexithymia, suicidal ideation etc etc. It's so frustrating. I hate living with myself. I don't have anything I want, the only thing I want, more than anything to just heal, but don't know what that looks like. Im to tired of trying to hold on. I hate that im left with suicide as my only option, im just do frustrated with myself, I just want to HEAL. Idk, I always feel like something is missing and I can never find the words or whatever, im just so pissed right now, and nothing set me off, im so fucked up, WHY AM I LIKE THIS!! it's so hard

 

[MusicEnjoyer:D]

We don't deserve this burden that has been put on our shoulders.

Healing seems like such a long, and frustrating journey. Meanwhile, death seems like jumping into an unknown abyss, where you don't know what you might find.

I hope you find the peace that you deserve.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I really hope you can find your peace somehow, some way, no matter how you have to get to it. I'm sorry you are having to endure all that you are.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Sometimes it already helps a bit to talk about it with people who are listening, like many here do. It should be the case out there, it would be a better place for all of us. I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace the one or the other way soon.

 

[SpiderLink]

We don't deserve this burden that has been put on our shoulders.

Healing seems like such a long, and frustrating journey. Meanwhile, death seems like jumping into an unknown abyss, where you don't know what you might find.

I hope you find the peace that you deserve.

Yeah, and ty

I really hope you can find your peace somehow, some way, no matter how you have to get to it. I'm sorry you are having to endure all that you are.

Ty

Sometimes it already helps a bit to talk about it with people who are listening, like many here do. It should be the case out there, it would be a better place for all of us. I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace the one or the other way soon.

Yeah, I just wish people that I know around me would listen more, sometimes they do, but it's very rare. But ty

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful and tiring what you've been through, I get that it's horrible feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, it certainly is such a cruel existence where people suffer all through no fault of their own. And the reality is that most other people just don't care, I think it's a waste of time trying to make other people listen, so many won't even try to understand but anyway best wishes.

 

[SpiderLink]

That sounds so awful and tiring what you've been through, I get that it's horrible feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, it certainly is such a cruel existence where people suffer all through no fault of their own. And the reality is that most other people just don't care, I think it's a waste of time trying to make other people listen, so many won't even try to understand but anyway best wishes.

Thanks

 

[charlotte_]

I mean absolute no offense but the opening part kind of made me laugh. Thanks for that.
Also, I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. Recovery is never easy. It's like you've been dragged into a deep hole and slowly climbing out, and sometimes, you will slip, trip, cannot see the light or even fall back in. It's totally alright to feel that way. I can't guarantee that things will get better for you, but I still hope that you can continue hoping and find your way out. Best wishes, no matter what path you take.

 

[SpiderLink]

I mean absolute no offense but the opening part kind of made me laugh. Thanks for that.
Also, I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. Recovery is never easy. It's like you've been dragged into a deep hole and slowly climbing out, and sometimes, you will slip, trip, cannot see the light or even fall back in. It's totally alright to feel that way. I can't guarantee that things will get better for you, but I still hope that you can continue hoping and find your way out. Best wishes, no matter what path you take.

No that's fine, I'm just describing how it feels