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aerilana

aerilana

full of grief
Nov 24, 2025
14
i can't can't stand how my brain works i am so tired it won't stop reminding me how shitty i am or overthinking scenarios that will make me spiral:D it sucks i dont really process anything that's going on but im still so anxious about it and my brain won't shut up

it's my fault for ruining my own life and sabotaging everything in it that keeps me stable but i just wish i can have a day of peace i just want to give myself a little bit of grace i am too young for all of these lol

i pray so hard that i can have an opportunity to open up to my mother about how bad it's been going for me and hopefully get a consultation... i really just want meds it's the only thing that can help me atp because nothing really works and i want to be numb and my brain won't stop telling me that i deserve to die lol

sometimes i wish i don't have to be left alone with all of these thoughts and the heavy feelings i have to carry all the time but im too isolated and i dont think im ready to be that open when a huge part of me just wants to die so there's no point being a burden i feel so hopeless
 
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