Venting I hate how I will never achieve anything in my life

[Rocinante]

I'm 24, and people at my age or younger are actors, musicians, artists and what not. When I listen to music I very often fantasize about being the artist, and that the song is performed so that everyone thinks highly of me(especially the chicks). I often watch live performances on youtube and imagine myself as the artist. But I never did anything. I never created anything in my entire life. I never came up with anything on my own. Not even a joke. I'm the most uncreative person imaginable. I've done nothing.

I'm a procrastinating loser that's a failure and has no prospects in life. I just want to die because that's the easiest way out of my problems. Just disappearing. But I don't have the balls to do it.
I'm trapped by my own compulsions.

I have no self-control. I'm an absolute loser.
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[SirCalvinXIV]

If I may, I'd like to say that while it is true there are plenty of young actors and musicians and what have you, they occupy a tiny, tiny percentage of the population; so it's not fair to beat yourself up for not being them, because for every star, every influencer, there's 100,000 fans, ordinary people who (not unlike you) aspire to be like them. And you're still decently young, all things considered. Got plenty of time to think over your options.
There's a number of free music software and samples, you could download some stuff tommorow and throw together a song, nothing stopping you, assuming you got the time and patience to make it work. Not that it's guaranteed to be good, just because of the nature of those programs, but still. Baby steps.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I'm 24, and people at my age or younger are actors, musicians, artists and what not. When I listen to music I very often fantasize about being the artist, and that the song is performed so that everyone thinks highly of me(especially the chicks). I often watch live performances on youtube and imagine myself as the artist. But I never did anything. I never created anything in my entire life. I never came up with anything on my own. Not even a joke. I'm the most uncreative person imaginable. I've done nothing.

I'm a procrastinating loser that's a failure and has no prospects in life. I just want to die because that's the easiest way out of my problems. Just disappearing. But I don't have the balls to do it.
I'm trapped by my own compulsions.

I have no self-control. I'm an absolute loser.
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Hello @Rocinante,
I live in Japan, the land of milk and honey,
But due to my ineptitude, I don't make much money.
I rely on my parents; I'm afraid I end my life in a shanty.

So many people seems to have shamed you.
I see why you want to die.
So I say you have a right to cry.
You shouldn't be invalidated; your suffering is true.

Sometimes I make rhyme,
But people just call me an attention seeker.
It doesn't give me power; instead I'm getting weaker.
It's useless; it doesn't make even a dime.

Please don't heed people who laughs at you.
Don't heed people who have no clue.
Please know that you have a voice.
All pain is valid; you have choice.


I'm so sorry that you are feeling like a failure - I feel like a loser, too, because I'm 36 and still living with my parents.
I'm a natural-born attention seeker and some people in this forum have given me attention which I crave. Sometimes I get compliments on my posts. They give me a sense of purpose and I deeply grateful for them

Please know that your pain is valid, at least I think so, and I hope your suffering will be a bit less unbearable

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can feel how tiring that is but to measure yourself with others in everything what others have achieved is not always the way for ones life. You should find sth for your own. I'm well aware that up to some point the soceity we live in forces us to do so and it's easier said than done not to follow the mainstream with everything. I fully understand your desire to leave this world and to leave everything behind to finally be free but perhaps you don't "have the balls to do so" because there's still sth ahead for you to be discovered as you are not so old yet! It makes me personally sad to see young people having no perspective any more in this world but somehow I can understand it. I also have no perspective for me any more in this world but i'm almost double your age. I wish you all the best!

 

[The anhedonic one]

Life without achievements or distractions is just a life of existence.
I feel you on the this, it's soul destroying.

 

[SexyIncél]

Just out of curiosity, did you get checked out for things like b12 or thyroid hormone deficiency? Lots of suicidal people get annoyed once they discover that some of their problems have a ridiculously easy cure. Not that I'm saying this cures all their problems; just makes the hole easier to climb out, is all. Less stress

 

[jonghyun]

I too wanted to be a singer/performer etc. its right place right time mostly. It comes down to luck.. i hate it

 

[Rocinante]

Just out of curiosity, did you get checked out for things like b12 or thyroid hormone deficiency? Lots of suicidal people get annoyed once they discover that some of their problems have a ridiculously easy cure. Not that I'm saying this cures all their problems; just makes the hole easier to climb out, is all. Less stress

Thanks, I looked into it. I don't have any of the symptoms males with thyroid hormone deficiency suffer from, but it's impossible to gauge if I suffer from it without an official diagnosis.

b12 deficiency probably, many of the symptoms are applicable

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'm 24, and people at my age or younger are actors, musicians, artists and what not. When I listen to music I very often fantasize about being the artist, and that the song is performed so that everyone thinks highly of me(especially the chicks). I often watch live performances on youtube and imagine myself as the artist. But I never did anything. I never created anything in my entire life. I never came up with anything on my own. Not even a joke. I'm the most uncreative person imaginable. I've done nothing.

I'm a procrastinating loser that's a failure and has no prospects in life. I just want to die because that's the easiest way out of my problems. Just disappearing. But I don't have the balls to do it.
I'm trapped by my own compulsions.

I have no self-control. I'm an absolute loser.
View attachment 113948​

To be honest you are still relatively young and young enough where you could still promoted if show competence at it.

 

[ggetout33]

I mean if you have a few hundred or so dollars, nothing really stopping you from buying your own guitar and playing from there? Personally, I started at 17 ( about 22 now) and played in a band for a few years. I'd say I'm pretty decent now. But before then I knew jackshit about playing the actual instrument. I thought I'd never get good.

If you like rock, your best bet is learning power chords first. They're easier for me personally. I never could hack it with full chords, but that doesn't matter as much with rock.

I too wanted to be a singer/performer etc. its right place right time mostly. It comes down to luck.. i hate it

For famous people yeah but if you're relatively young (or not so young) nothing's stopping you from picking up the instrument or learning singing tutorials and doing something local. Internet's a big place. Plenty of free tutorials online.

 

[Rocinante]

I mean if you have a few hundred or so dollars, nothing really stopping you from buying your own guitar and playing from there? Personally, I started at 17 ( about 22 now) and played in a band for a few years. I'd say I'm pretty decent now. But before then I knew jackshit about playing the actual instrument. I thought I'd never get good.

If you like rock, your best bet is learning power chords first. They're easier for me personally. I never could hack it with full chords, but that doesn't matter as much with rock.


For famous people yeah but if you're relatively young (or not so young) nothing's stopping you from picking up the instrument or learning singing tutorials and doing something local. Internet's a big place.

I already own multiple guitars and amps. I do nothing else besides play guitar.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Why do you care about egoistic nonsense like achieving things that would soon be irrelevant either in your life or soon after your death?

 

[Aisley]

Seriously, guitar's dead easy. You got Sabbath words under your name, and that's a lot of power chords. Tutorials all over youtube. Busk in the streets, and women will take you home. Just look like you showered in the last week. I had many a lousy bum with a guitar home for a few days. Women are crazy about guitar players. And it's very achievable. You don't have to make your own music, people only want to hear songs they already know anyways.

 

[Rocinante]

Seriously, guitar's dead easy. You got Sabbath words under your name, and that's a lot of power chords. Tutorials all over youtube. Busk in the streets, and women will take you home. Just look like you showered in the last week. I had many a lousy bum with a guitar home for a few days. Women are crazy about guitar players. And it's very achievable. You don't have to make your own music, people only want to hear songs they already know anyways.

I already own multiple guitars and amps. I do nothing else besides play guitar.

 

[Aisley]

Nice. Anyone ever hear you? On purpose, that is?

 

[SexyIncél]

Aside from the vitamin/hormone deficiences (which I really hope you can check out)... here's my irresponsible life-ruining opinions which everyone will disagree with

In normal society, people say hetero men typically peak in their 30s. Masculinity's in your favor

I recall you mentioned liking UFC. Stylebender has a good view on not trusting the adulation of fans: they're fickle. Ted Gioia's "Music: A Subversive History" talks about some of the motivations behind their adulation, including groupies. If you're into groupies and ever get some, remember that most are "low-quality" people. Sleeping with them is fine; but they're dangerous people to lean on. And they likely won't fill a visceral hole until you find a rare one with compatible virtue, particularly one who's cool supporting your indulgences

From your other posts, I suspect one thing holding you back is desiring the recognition of others through physical appearance. Your appearance is more than sufficient; accept the win and move onto the next thing. A pretty boy handsome man is all the more attractive when he acts fairly dismissive of superficial concerns. Like how old money hates talking about money, unlike the nouveau riche. Even if they're actually obsessed with money

(BTW yeah, blondes often find their hair grows brown in their teens/20s. If it helps, many people voice an odd dislike of blondes, for whatever strange reason)

Depending on your circumstances, maybe it'll help to just go homeless or something for a little while. Reset every assumption

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I'm resigned to never achieving anything, at least in a societal expectation aspect.

There's still personal goals I'd like to achieve, even if nobody else gives a fuck about them.

 

[Rocinante]

In normal society, people say hetero men typically peak in their 30s. Masculinity's in your favor

I recall you mentioned liking UFC. Stylebender has a good view on not trusting the adulation of fans: they're fickle. Ted Gioia's "Music: A Subversive History" talks about some of the motivations behind their adulation, including groupies. If you're into groupies and ever get some, remember that most are "low-quality" people. Sleeping with them is fine; but they're dangerous people to lean on. And they likely won't fill a visceral hole until you find a rare one with compatible virtue, particularly one who's cool supporting your indulgences

Yes, MMA fans in general are fickle. They'll overlook their favorite fighter if he so much as loses a single event. They move on to the "next best thing". But one adoring fan is better than none.

I've tried to befrien/start relationships with many people that have similar interest. It's the only way I can find myself compatible with someone, if we have something in common to discuss. Otherwise I'm boring to speak to. None last. But that's on my end, I'm a toxic person.

From your other posts, I suspect one thing holding you back is desiring the recognition of others through physical appearance. Your appearance is more than sufficient; accept the win and move onto the next thing. A pretty boy handsome man is all the more attractive when he acts fairly dismissive of superficial concerns. Like how old money hates talking about money, unlike the nouveau riche. Even if they're actually obsessed with money

No amount of positive comments from people irl or online will change how I feel about my looks. I will never be satisfiedwith my appearance unless I underwent some operation to fix the things I dislike about myself. Can't help it.

(BTW yeah, blondes often find their hair grows brown in their teen/20s. If it helps, many people voice an odd dislike of blondes, for whatever strange reason)

Depending on your circumstances, maybe it'll help to just go homeless or something for a little while. Reset every assumption

I intend to travel later in the year, maybe that will fix things and change my perspective. Only time will tell.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Have you ever got to the bottom of why you have little self control ?