Venting I hate going home

[melting_point]

Everyday, every weekend I hate it, they dont even know me they always blame me for everything they always assume i did something wrong its unfair. I cant tell if im in an abusive household they dont physically hurt me but i always get threatened and get things taken away. I hate being in school but id rather stay there than being at home. I dont even think i did anything wrong anymore but im not always right so i dont know really. Going somewhere else rather than being at home is an escape for me. That feeling of being away from ur own family and relatives and then living alone without contact with them is what i dream to do in the future. My dad most especially hates me, he hates my ways for example not taking care of myself or using my phone instead of doing chores though hes a hypocrite and he barely does chores after his work (I understand hes tired but please help us with the simple ones) and uses his phone alot, he always excuses that hes doing his work there but I know thats a lie because hes always active on facebook watching random videos, lying in the couch and laughing off. My mom however is a self proclaimed "martyr" she believes that shes always the one doing eveything in the house and we should help ( I have tons of schoolwork even in the weekends and she doesnt understand this). I understand that as a family we should all work together so I do chores if i can and have enough time. Mom however believes shes the only person who does chores in the entire house and scolds me if she thinks i did nothing (i am trying at the best i can to help mom). She also guilt trips us like she cries and locks herself up in the bathroom blaming herself for raising me and my brother this way and how she shouldve not been married to my dad. Eventually those wouldnt work on me anymore as she calls me selfish and ungrateful while im just doing my role as a student and as your daughter. She sometimes tells me things like i am a good person and compliments me or so though i think its simply toxic positivity. I dont have problem with my little brother much other than he snitches on me and makes me deal with his consequences. He always hits me when he gets mad (like hair pulling and a punch in the face) even though were just two years apart, i dont fight back anyways but they blame me for him acting that way, which doesnt make sense because i never did that to anyone. My brother being the youngest hes always known to be the nicer kid, so anything he says will make my parents automatically believe him, and so im the one who always gets punished. Because of this I spiraled into feelings of both anger and sadness and two years till now i still did self harm (bruising myself, pulling out hair and punching things) and i dont plan stopping either knowing ill ctb soon too. I dont tell anything about this to my friends because my parents will find out by checking our conversation or so. Id rather die than go back to this hellhole.

I dont know if this is normal but please tell me if anyone there also experiences the same thing or im just overreacting.

 

[nowuseeme-nowudont]

Hey. It's not fine. I go through it too.

We're probably close in age and i can relate. Sort of.
I'm an only child and my dad, though busy, is, i have to admit, great. And i love him.
But mom? Oh, mom's just too accurate. Sometimes i think that moms are just factory-built. Carbon copies. Cut from the same cloth.
My mom is quite over-bearing, mainly the reason i'm so sheltered. And she's a peach, don't get me wrong, but my god, during these awful moment she thretens both me and my dad that she'll pack up one day and leave us, she calls me a 'broke child' and that one day i'll do something so stupid that i'll end up killing myself in the process.

Well, guess our moms know us better than we thought.

P.S. I'm here if you wanna talk.

 

[conspiringconcept]

hey, you are definitely not overreacting. abuse isnt just physical, emotional and mental abuse is very real. im sorry you are going through that, i can confirm to you that what you are going through is definitely not 'normal.' Your feeling are valid, they are being shitty. as someone who has an extremely abusive mother, i understand how hard it is. sounds like they are keeping you up to impossible standards without showing any appreciation. ive been in therapy for a year now because my school forced my family to put me in therapy, and what ive learned with families like ours is that if they are not willing to change we have no other choice but than to accept it. acceptance is really difficult, and the anger and grief will always lurk but there is no other inedivable solution. coming from a broken home makes us broken, but its the way we learn to accept ourseleves with it that is the lesson to learn.