Venting I hate feeling angry...I hate crying...I hate being scared...I hate facing anxiety...I hate facing depression...happiness is the only positive emotion

[ConfusedHurting2632]

Anger, crying, fear, anxiety, and depression just FEEL SO BAD. Why can't it just be the happiness most of the time? And the part where we're not happy, just neutral or bored? Why does it have to be angry, crying, scared, anxious, or depressed? I hate these feelings, they are so complicated.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Feeling like that is very difficult, especially when that's how you feel most of the time. I've known a few people who were truly born with an unwavering positive attitude and rarely get anxiety. I'd take that over good looks or money, tbh.

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

My whole life I've struggled with sustained positivity since I have a tendency to over-think, which leads me down a rabbit hole of all those negative emotions you mention. Society treats negative thinkers, over-thinkers, people who dwell on negativity, as a problem, as though we should all know how to be happy and positive all the time. If there was a class on living life optimistically, then I must've missed it.

I feel all my feelings, especially the negative ones, in a visceral way. Sometimes it feels I won't survive the intensity of my negative emotions and that they alone could kill me. In those moments it would be so much easier to feel neutral instead.

Agreed though, I'd take an innate positive outlook over money any day...

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not even know what happiness is like. It can be dreadful dealing with all those negative emotions and it can make life unbearable. I believe we feel so many negative emotions because they are a natural response to the pain and suffering we experience in life. Life is cruel, unfair and disappointing. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[elfin]

i'm sorry that you're experiencing this too OP, sending you my best wishes

 

[Trilucid]

Maybe it's just... Being human. It's real meaning.
And not all of that stupid "Life is a gift" stuff and the "It gets better" a pro lifer would throw at you.

A very well crafted post though.

 

[Anonymus]

I also hate all these things ... although happiness or a little moment of it is easy for me to achieve - at least before.
When I couldn't take it anymore, I would walk aimlessly in search of peace, even if I was dizzy. Once you are very tired, if I was in a lonely and quiet enough place, you would get the urge to cry (I have often confused the urge to cry with the urge to vomit, the feeling of something rising inside is like ... ). Just then I looked up and glanced around, looking for details where to fix my mind and ... surprise, little insects, the breeze of the wind caressing my senses, the small leaves of the trees moving -it swayed softly as they lit up in the yellow light of a winter sun in the middle of the afternoon ... at that moment I felt a lot of peace and when I closed my eyes the disturbing images and thoughts in my head were gone and he felt happy.

But that was before, now I feel trapped at home, since the beginning of the pandemic I have only left home to go to the doctors, therapy or do administrative procedures ... and with a lot of fear of finding neighbors or acquaintances. I am very upset by the noises and smells ...

But feeling happy was sometimes easy for me, especially when I was more mentally ill ... that's what I'm trying to do again, but it costs a lot.

Perhaps what I have explained may be useful to the person who started the post to try to provoke these moments of happiness on purpose.

Try it! you need no one but your senses.

Spoiler: Original Text

Jo també odio totes aquestes coses... tot i que la felicitat o un petit instant d'aquesta m'és fàcil d'aconseguir -almenys abans-.
Quan no podía més em posava a caminar sense rumb cercant pau, encara que tingués vertígens. Un cop ben cansat, si em trobava en un lloc sol i prou silenciós t'agafaven les ànsies de plorar (sovint he confós les ganes plorar amb ganes de vomitar, la sensació d'una cosa que puja per dins s'assembla...). Just en aquell moment aixecava la vista i feia un cop d'ull al meu voltant, cercant detalls on fixar la meva ment i... sorpresa, uns insectes petitons, la fresa del vent acaronant els meus sentits, les petites fulles dels arbres movent-se en un balanceig suau mentre s'iluminen amb la llum groguenca d'un sol d'hivern a mitja tarda... en aquell moment sentía molta pau i al tancar els ulls les imatges i els pensaments pertorbadors del meu cap havien desaparegut i sentía felicitat.

Però això era abans, ara em sento atrapat a casa, desde l'inici de la pandémia només he sortit de casa per anar als metges, teràpia o fer gestions administratives... i amb molta por de trobar-me veïns o gent coneguda. Em molesten molt els sorolls i les olors...

Però sentir-me feliç de vegades era una cosa senzilla per mi, sobretot quan més mentalment malferit em trobava... és el que estic intentant tornar a fer, però costa molt.

Potser el que he explicat li pot servir al que ha inciat el post a intentar provocar aquest moments de felicitat de forma intencionada.

Intenta-ho! no necessites a ningú més que els teus sentits.