I hate being so nice irl

[ornitier199]

All it ever done was get me walked over and taken advantage of

I was always kind, kept it cordial and professional at all times
I wish I talk about it but i cant right now. I've never cried like this before and its embarrassing

all te bad trauma/memories 202 are flooding rushing through my head feels like im breaking

 

[No Entertainment]

Being nice and get walked over are two separate things. You need to set some boundaries. Sometimes it's ok to say "no"

 

[DynamicDepression]

Evil fucks will always take advantage of kind people. I am sorry you have been exploited by vile people and that you have to go through all the trauma they have caused you. Please don't be embarrassed, it's much better to cry than to keep it all inside.

Being nice and get walked over are two separate things. You need to set some boundaries. Sometimes it's ok to say "no"

That is important to remember. Even though it may be hard, setting boundaries will do you good. It's always okay to decline or refuse if you don't think it's the right thing to do.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Being nice and get walked over are two separate things. You need to set some boundaries. Sometimes it's ok to say "no"

I agree. I'm also too nice sometimes but I wouldn't want to be any other way, it's alien to me. I even have a few true friends that understand this and insist on giving. If someone is asking, they might not be a true friend.

 

[Anxieyote]

All it ever done was get me walked over and taken advantage of

I was always kind, kept it cordial and professional at all times
I wish I talk about it but i cant right now. I've never cried like this before and its embarrassing

all te bad trauma/memories 202 are flooding rushing through my head feels like im breaking

I do not engage in toxic positivity anymore. I hate how it feels to bury my emotions around others, so if I'm upset and someone is talking to me in a sing-song happy voice, I do not even attempt to match their energy.

It's painful to look back on all the times I suppressed how I was really feeling in order to fit in with a group…it's unnatural, and I grew up around so many "just smile and wave" types who would never acknowledge deeper emotions. It does hurt.

 

[FuneralCry]

People can be very cruel and can often just make things worse. It is such a horrible world that we live in, and I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. Living is very painful as our thoughts can torture us. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[ornitier199]

I do not engage in toxic positivity anymore. I hate how it feels to bury my emotions around others, so if I'm upset and someone is talking to me in a sing-song happy voice, I do not even attempt to match their energy.

It's painful to look back on all the times I suppressed how I was really feeling in order to fit in with a group…it's unnatural, and I grew up around so many "just smile and wave" types who would never acknowledge deeper emotions. It does hurt.

it's what they lead others to believe, even when the true colors are not.

People can be very cruel and can often just make things worse. It is such a horrible world that we live in, and I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. Living is very painful as our thoughts can torture us. I wish you relief from suffering.

The person I worked with I had been nothing but nice, cordial and professional too, the thing he did after made me feel like my friendly nature was perceived wrong. I did not mean ill by giving another alternative to the situation
I can't believe the same pain from back then is happening again now. and that was the worst of the worse. even though i didnt cut then, i still was overdosing alot. but i have nothing more to OD on anyways. I do want to die but also for the pain to end. death will do that. no will know anyway so I dont get wants there left sticking around. maybe its because my methods are seen as stupid and potentially ineffective. even in death I would be mocked.

 

[emptyjokes]

All it ever done was get me walked over and taken advantage of

I was always kind, kept it cordial and professional at all times
I wish I talk about it but i cant right now. I've never cried like this before and its embarrassing

all te bad trauma/memories 202 are flooding rushing through my head feels like im breaking

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have similar issues, any time I have a chance to stand up for myself I get extremely nervous and I will either shut down or fall back to that professional/cordial persona that you are talking about and "find a solution that works for everyone", when in my head I am screaming at them to fuck off. It's had the side effect of forcing me to hold onto anything that could be perceived as a slight from others, while everyone around me praises me for being "patient" and "relaxed". It's a disaster. I hope it's at least comforting to read from others that can be understanding, you do not deserve such pain.

 

[Klo]

All it ever done was get me walked over and taken advantage of

I was always kind, kept it cordial and professional at all times
I wish I talk about it but i cant right now. I've never cried like this before and its embarrassing

all te bad trauma/memories 202 are flooding rushing through my head feels like im breaking

One of things I regret the most was talking to other people in general. Most people are not nice and I should have never interacted in good faith them. I'm sorry you are crying and having a hard time. I hope things get better for you.

 

[ornitier199]

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have similar issues, any time I have a chance to stand up for myself I get extremely nervous and I will either shut down or fall back to that professional/cordial persona that you are talking about and "find a solution that works for everyone", when in my head I am screaming at them to fuck off. It's had the side effect of forcing me to hold onto anything that could be perceived as a slight from others, while everyone around me praises me for being "patient" and "relaxed". It's a disaster. I hope it's at least comforting to read from others that can be understanding, you do not deserve such pain.

I'm still crying because I didn't mean ill by anything and I think he didn't see that but
How I wish I could've been gone already to avoid defying fate and suffering more.

One of things I regret the most was talking to other people in general. Most people are not nice and I should have never interacted in good faith them. I'm sorry you are crying and having a hard time. I hope things get better for you.

I wish I hadn't either sometimes. But Ryan was , different. sacred to talk about it. i could've very well caused what he did thereafter.

 

[g0921]

I know how you feel.
My only reason to be kind is, I don't wanna make others feel like me.
Yet most ppl are piece of shit and it is a waste of my kindness ALL THE TIME lol.

 

[ornitier199]

I'll never be able to not be nice irl I'm in for a long painful rot.

 

[eternalsleep16]

I was way too nice and it ruined my life. I was so naive. I can't wait to leave this filthy world.

 

[Hurt]

Many people took advantage of me for being nice. I hate myself for that.

 

[Judy Garland]

All it ever done was get me walked over and taken advantage of

I was always kind, kept it cordial and professional at all times
I wish I talk about it but i cant right now. I've never cried like this before and its embarrassing

all te bad trauma/memories 202 are flooding rushing through my head feels like im breaking

I'm always too nice too. Especially when I've been wronged and when I'm trying to rectify a situation. People walk all over me too. For example, just Friday I had a man from an HVAC company come to look at my air conditioner. He was very rude and instead of telling him I didn't like his attitude, I was very nice to him like a scared puppy. After a situation like that I always yell at myself and say, "Why didn't I tell him....why didn't I say....". It happens all the time. Everyone takes advantage of me, and I'm tired of it too. You're not alone.

 

[Slimetae]

I ain't been nice since I was kid but I ain't rude either I just think I give off the same energy to everyone I don't wanna talk and if I have too it will be a short conversation. Sorry you went through that tho

 

[ornitier199]

I don't know what I did wrong. Sucks I still can't talk about it because of my own fear.

 

[Out of Time]

I don't know what I did wrong. Sucks I still can't talk about it because of my own fear.

I'm sorry you're hurting. People suck. Please don't change who you are, ornitier. I understand seeing someone in a tough spot and just wanting to help, not because they asked, but because you know how they're feeling. There certainly is just playing nice and being agreeable to keep conflict away, and I'm not sure that's genuine kindness. But compassion doesn't stem from insecurity. True compassion is lost on the majority, so we can't afford to lose any more. Ornitier, talk about it when you can, and hang in there in the meantime.

 

[ornitier199]

I'm sorry you're hurting. People suck. Please don't change who you are, ornitier. I understand seeing someone in a tough spot and just wanting to help, not because they asked, but because you know how they're feeling. There certainly is just playing nice and being agreeable to keep conflict away, and I'm not sure that's genuine kindness. But compassion doesn't stem from insecurity. True compassion is lost on the majority, so we can't afford to lose any more. Ornitier, talk about it when you can, and hang in there in the meantime.

I recently wrote it all out in my suicide note last night, before my last (no more games); every time I feel close enough to ctb something always happen that makes me put it off even for an hour. I put these also in my note, but its pretty much the same source I mentioned a few times in Hopefully I can talk about it tomorrow

 

[ornitier199]

It's me.
When writing and developing I was composing my feelings too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.
During the time I could feel my feelings welling up inside until they just... burst.

So the man I'm talking about in FK is in fact Ryan himself. And this he knew for a long time. Now I feel a bit more opened to talk about what's been troubling me this long and dissect a bit on what happened. but I'm embarrassed too.

 

[thereisthemist]

think it the other way, being nice is not even targeted at anyone in particular, it's just all you, and the harm you received so far has nothing to do with particular individuals. you can still be nice to others, you can even be super nice to animals...
trust is instead the key here, as you might feel exhausted balancing it. one suggestion is that whenever you feel wrong about trusting someone/something, you grasp the right and opportunity to halt any further interactions.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I was always a nice guy people pleaser and only became aware of this too late in life… wish I had learned at an early age to throw a punch, stand up for myself, say fuck off, put myself first, connect with how I feel and clearly assert my needs.
But teaching this to me never occurred to my parents who had no concept of boundaries or really any other psychological concepts.
So I grew up to be weak and lost. Desperate for connection. Lonely. Dependent. Other directed. And now doomed. Being nice is the worst.

 

[Lost Magic]

It's a damn shame that we live in a world full of bullies and vultures who just peck away at vulnerable people. I too have witnessed those types of horrible people throughout my life. We should be allowed to be nice, without getting taking advantage of. What a sad, reality this is.

 

[ornitier199]

Trust has nothing to do with it.
It's something else

 

[lessonlearned]

One of things I regret the most was talking to other people in general. Most people are not nice and I should have never interacted in good faith them. I'm sorry you are crying and having a hard time. I hope things get better for you.

i can relate with this so hard as of recent its crazy. i wish i just shut up and continued being a recluse. i hate people so much.

 

[ornitier199]

One of things I regret the most was talking to other people in general. Most people are not nice and I should have never interacted

In some cases, yes; not this one. I had to talk with him about this, of course, but recently I no longer have that available in case something goes wrong one the road, or after FK's release. (if ever released)

 

[Fengshuiside]

I'll be blunt. As long as you don't clearly set your boundaries, people will cross them. People can't read your mind. You can be generally friendly and polite, but if you try to just please everyone you meet in order to avoid getting abandoned, it just makes you bland to everyone. You'll respect no one, and no one will respect you. It took way too long for me to realize this, and I went through so much unnecessary suffering to realize this. Being nice to everyone just seriously invites abusive and manipulative people in your life. It's not really their fault either, it's you who's being nice and not setting boundaries.

 

[ornitier199]

Maybe it's time I'd made this a little more clear in what I meant.
I don't know, I'm still nervous to talk about it, even though at this point I'm already at journey's end
i did write it all out in my suicide note but i was in a pensive mood then.

 

[Euthanza]

I have learned the hard way that people lies, cheats and betrays each other for anything at all.
It used to be a lot easier to be nice when I'm just a kid, but adulthood has brought me the opposite experience unlikely, that's getting worse day by day irrevocably. I don't want to continue living in a world where being kind is seen as weakness and your good deeds returned false.
This world is actually a cruel pyramid scheme, it makes me sorry for being nice.