Venting I hate being boring in addition to being mentally ill

[CameronFrye]

I wish I wasn't so boring and I could at least channel this mental illness into SOMETHING meaningful. Art, music, writing, or anything that would make it easier to cope with living like this. I also wish I was interesting enough for people to care about me despite my mental illness.
I wish people wanted to be around me because there was something worthwhile beyond the mental illness. I wish I had meaning friendships and could do fun things with them to help alleviate the pain. But instead I have no talents or interesting qualities whatsoever. So in addition to being mentally ill, I hate myself even more, and have no outlets to help me feel better.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Yes. I am technically unskilled in most creative pursuits, even the ones I studied theory of—drawing is the worst offender. Whether I enjoy writing depends on my energy level, and it is always indulgent bullshit. I am too blocked to create or brainstorm properly, but I will tell you this: creativity itself is a skill that requires practice.

Plenty of people have innate 'talent', but talent only takes you so far; it is commonly cited that mastery requires 10,000 hours. This may prove difficult if you suffer from debilitating illness of the mind or body. Is there a certain creative skill you'd like to have? Which of the list appeals to you most? Have you ever daydreamed, crafted characters, or come up with a premise or idea you're fond of? Have you ever continued the story of others' works? Everything starts with a seed, and every completed work of art begins with a rough outline, a sketch, a premise, etc. The things you don't see—the prerequisites and brainstorming, the hours of work—are the foundation.

It's also important to keep in mind that every master was a beginner, and you can create for the fun of creating or indulgece even if it isn't 'good' by personal or external standards. You don't have to share it; for example, lots of technically unskilled people pursue their preferred medium purely to let off steam.

tldr; None of this word vomit is particularly important. If you have a moment of inspiration or clarity, go with it and try not to focus on the result. I know creativity is a lot of work, but it a skill like any other. Luckily, it doesn't have to be "good". It just has to fulfill you. There are lots of free resources and tutorials online.

 

[CameronFrye]

Is there a certain creative skill you'd like to have? Which of the list appeals to you most? Have you ever daydreamed, crafted characters, or come up with a premise or idea you're fond of? Have you ever continued the story of others' works?

I wish I could make music, draw/paint, or write and I daydream constantly but I can't translate it into something physical. It's like nothing comes out and anything that does is basically nothing.

 

[Darkover]

yeah i'd hate to be born with no interest in anything creative like programming electronics maths, lucky for me i started taking my toys to bits age 5 and got obsessed with how electronics work then at 18 i started to program even going on to write my own digital electronic simulator it's it's quite an amazing journey to learn all that stuff and require skills even made 10k selling my software back in 2014 many diffrent bots for a game called "realm of the mad god" heres my hacking profile on https://www.mpgh.net/forum/member.php?u=1614165, https://www.mpgh.net/forum/search.php?searchid=56687785

 

[ColorlessTrees]

I wish I could make music, draw/paint, or write and I daydream constantly but I can't translate it into something physical. It's like nothing comes out and anything that does is basically nothing.

I think that is important, though, because you do have ideas, or seeds. You can cultivate these skills as long as you're okay with a bit of work. Even 15 minutes a day will suffice, so long as you do it daily. It will be slow, but practice precedes progress. You can start at 5 if that sounds too difficult. Just pick up the pencil or the pen or the instrument of your choice every day, and maybe after a while you'll get to the next step. Mental illness can slow this process, but I guarantee a workable level of skill is attainable. It requires patience.

For drawing, it's boring, but Draw-A-Box is a free, comprehensive course. Alphonso Dunn has good tutorials online as well. Marc Brunet, too. :)

For writing and plot structure, I really love Abbie Emmons' videos. There is also Reedsy. I am most familiar with writing and plot structure, though I am by no means an expert.

I'm not familiar enough with music creation/painting to recommend any channels, but I know there are a lot on YouTube. What's important is having an outline and a clear idea of what you want to draw/write/create. You can use prompts or references, too.

Though I do understand that. I feel blocked with little output even if I do all these things. I wish I had better answers, but I truly struggle with this too. In the past, I've just started lines on paper. My head is empty, so I just do the physical motions. I usually default to doodles of flowers. It's the same with writing; I just "word vomit". It's crap, but it passes the time and gets me doing something. If you'd like, you can copy a reference just to get yourself doing.

If you'd like me to explain any of it further, please let me know.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. I also see myself as being boring, nothing interests me and I struggle with concentration. All my time is spent wishing my life would just end. I wish you the best, I know that it can be dreadful to live a miserable existence.

 

[whatevs]

yeah i'd hate to be born with no interest in anything creative like programming electronics maths, lucky for me i started taking my toys to bits age 5 and got obsessed with how electronics work then at 18 i started to program even going on to write my own digital electronic simulator it's it's quite an amazing journey to learn all that stuff and require skills even made 10k selling my software back in 2014 many diffrent bots for a game called "realm of the mad god" heres my hacking profile on https://www.mpgh.net/forum/member.php?u=1614165, https://www.mpgh.net/forum/search.php?searchid=56687785

Hey I remember that game, it was quite a hit! Congrats on contributing to it.

I think that is important, though, because you do have ideas, or seeds. You can cultivate these skills as long as you're okay with a bit of work. Even 15 minutes a day will suffice, so long as you do it daily. It will be slow, but practice precedes progress. You can start at 5 if that sounds too difficult. Just pick up the pencil or the pen or the instrument of your choice every day, and maybe after a while you'll get to the next step. Mental illness can slow this process, but I guarantee a workable level of skill is attainable. It requires patience.

For drawing, it's boring, but Draw-A-Box is a free, comprehensive course. Alphonso Dunn has good tutorials online as well. Marc Brunet, too. :)

For writing and plot structure, I really love Abbie Emmons' videos. There is also Reedsy. I am most familiar with writing and plot structure, though I am by no means an expert.

I'm not familiar enough with music creation/painting to recommend any channels, but I know there are a lot on YouTube. What's important is having an outline and a clear idea of what you want to draw/write/create. You can use prompts or references, too.

Though I do understand that. I feel blocked with little output even if I do all these things. I wish I had better answers, but I truly struggle with this too. In the past, I've just started lines on paper. My head is empty, so I just do the physical motions. I usually default to doodles of flowers. It's the same with writing; I just "word vomit". It's crap, but it passes the time and gets me doing something. If you'd like, you can copy a reference just to get yourself doing.

If you'd like me to explain any of it further, please let me know.

This is what I am doing and my mobile game is half-finished. I figured out that since I was too depressed and anhedonic to actually craft a plot/world from scratch, I would translate a free choose your story game on an obscure site that I landed on years ago. I contacted the author and he wasn't friendly but he also said he didn't give a damn what I did with his story. So far it has been working, I even added 20 pages of new content, but I could easily finish the game without that.

For the programming aspect you really need at least one year of intense learning though. And 50% of my code is copied directly from StackOverflow LOL.