UnnervedCompany
Member
- Jun 21, 2024
- 17
I had a complete mental breakdown cause everything came crashing down. It started with parental screaming due to a small spill started by a sibling. Then more parental screaming due to me saying I would like to a go to a Genshin store to buy merch. They screaming includes cussing, attack on my self, resentment for my being all because I mentioned something at passing. Then my sister threatened to not go outside with me even though we had plans and I wanted an excuse to leave the house for most of the day.
Then my sibling called, it started with light talk then he attacked my self as well calling me a cunt a failure just because he agreed with my parent even though I got accepted to a university better than him and I can go as low to as he failed to even talk his own life. He failed at suicide, maintain a relationship for a year, have a healthy partnership yet he still had the nerve to slander me due to me being passionate about a game even though I am more successful than him in everything including physical activity. I lashed back but I did not mention any of the above topics and defeats he had just said he should not call me a failure when I'm more successful than him academically. That caused my sister to swear to not go outside with me cause I was mean to my brother even though he started with calling me a failure and a cunt.
I went outside by my self participated in a protest for a cause I did not care about just to waste time. Then every trauma every wrong I experienced in my life by my sister and parents came crashing into my head. I remembered how I lost my only group of friends cause my parent would guilt me whenever I talked to her about any troubles I had with them and would tell me to just leave even though I needed guidance not to tell me to leave a friendship. Eventually I did leave that friend group and was too scared to start a single relationship for the rest of high school.
I remember how my mom prayed when I was still at 5 years old how she wants the entire family to go to hell so she never has to see us in the afterlife. I remembered how my dad would hit me even after I was 17 and strong enough to fight back yet I didn't. I remembered how one time my sister told my mom how my sister told my mom I had an online friend and then my mom belittled me for 2 hours with my sister checking my phone and belittling me as well just so my mom can like her more. I remembered how one time my mom was crying at a story that happened on the internet and I tried to cheer her up by mentioning how I was successful in school then I mentioned a Arlecchino and she started laughing but then called me a failure a worthless creature just because I mentioned Genshin even though it made her laugh like crazy and I was trying my best to cheer her mood. I remember how I fought a person bigger than me to protect my sister yet and got my eye beaten up like hell yet my entire family went against me due to me using a bottle to protect myself in the fight even though I was losing like hell and I just wanted to help my sister and did not even get into trouble much. More of these memories kept crashing on me until I went almost crazy and was desiring to steal a gun from a cops holster.
I vented this shit to my eldest and felt lost disgusted for venting to a person who can turn on me and ruin things more in a heartbeat. The funniest shit was when I got home my mom and sister gaslight me into hating myself because I was not in the mood to eat with them showing a constant repetition in their actions.
Best part is my other online friend did not check up on me even though I have him on delivered since yesterday yet I check up on him every day even when I have nothing useful or important to say.
Then my sibling called, it started with light talk then he attacked my self as well calling me a cunt a failure just because he agreed with my parent even though I got accepted to a university better than him and I can go as low to as he failed to even talk his own life. He failed at suicide, maintain a relationship for a year, have a healthy partnership yet he still had the nerve to slander me due to me being passionate about a game even though I am more successful than him in everything including physical activity. I lashed back but I did not mention any of the above topics and defeats he had just said he should not call me a failure when I'm more successful than him academically. That caused my sister to swear to not go outside with me cause I was mean to my brother even though he started with calling me a failure and a cunt.
I went outside by my self participated in a protest for a cause I did not care about just to waste time. Then every trauma every wrong I experienced in my life by my sister and parents came crashing into my head. I remembered how I lost my only group of friends cause my parent would guilt me whenever I talked to her about any troubles I had with them and would tell me to just leave even though I needed guidance not to tell me to leave a friendship. Eventually I did leave that friend group and was too scared to start a single relationship for the rest of high school.
I remember how my mom prayed when I was still at 5 years old how she wants the entire family to go to hell so she never has to see us in the afterlife. I remembered how my dad would hit me even after I was 17 and strong enough to fight back yet I didn't. I remembered how one time my sister told my mom how my sister told my mom I had an online friend and then my mom belittled me for 2 hours with my sister checking my phone and belittling me as well just so my mom can like her more. I remembered how one time my mom was crying at a story that happened on the internet and I tried to cheer her up by mentioning how I was successful in school then I mentioned a Arlecchino and she started laughing but then called me a failure a worthless creature just because I mentioned Genshin even though it made her laugh like crazy and I was trying my best to cheer her mood. I remember how I fought a person bigger than me to protect my sister yet and got my eye beaten up like hell yet my entire family went against me due to me using a bottle to protect myself in the fight even though I was losing like hell and I just wanted to help my sister and did not even get into trouble much. More of these memories kept crashing on me until I went almost crazy and was desiring to steal a gun from a cops holster.
I vented this shit to my eldest and felt lost disgusted for venting to a person who can turn on me and ruin things more in a heartbeat. The funniest shit was when I got home my mom and sister gaslight me into hating myself because I was not in the mood to eat with them showing a constant repetition in their actions.
Best part is my other online friend did not check up on me even though I have him on delivered since yesterday yet I check up on him every day even when I have nothing useful or important to say.
