Story I guess I have made him crazy..

[ForestLove]

Told my husband that for my next attempt, I make sure it will be 100% successful.

You guess what he replied?

"I won't encourage you to kill yourself but I will support you on whatever decision you make."

I was liked, ". Where on Earth would someone you love said such things to you?"

I guess I have made him crazy.

He cares for me so much that he is willing to let me go despite knowing he will be alone for the rest of his Life. I am all he got.

I really dunno what to do/say.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Were you expecting that he begged you not to do it?

 

[ForestLove]

Were you expecting that he begged you not to do it?

After I made him depressed, he seems to change the way he thinks. He tried talking to me using soft and hard ways but I jus remain what I am - severely depressed and suicidal.

He said many times to me that whatever he does or says, it can never make me happy.

If CTB can make relieve my pain and suffering, he is willing to let me go. He said he will not stop me from CTB. He seems like he has no choice but to let me go, if that's make me happy. At least he has done everything humanly possible to make me happy.

(My last attempt was discovered by him where he brought me to the hospital.)

 

[TooLate2582]

Sometimes the answer you get is not what you want.

Sorry you're having a rough go with it.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

After I made him depressed, he seems to change the way he thinks. He tried talking to me using soft and hard ways but I jus remain what I am - severely depressed and suicidal.

He said many times to me that whatever he does or says, it can never make me happy.

If CTB can make relieve my pain and suffering, he is willing to let me go. He said he will not stop me from CTB. He seems like he has no choice but to let me go, if that's make me happy.

(My last attempt was discovered by him where he brought me to the hospital.)

Sorry to hear that. I really don't know what to say. He's probably trying to sound understanding or using reversed psychology to help you.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

You want to end your life and he has said he will support you either way, maybe he just doesnt know what else to do especially if your going to attempt anyway. If it was my loved one i would support them 100% rather than see them suffer no matter if deep down i knew it would break me. My partner died i May alone in a hotel room because she was diabetic its not 100% if it was suicide or not, i would give anything to have been with her in her final moments, even if i knew i couldnt stop her from going to that hotel she would have known i loved her because i would have told her over and over till she passed.

Maybe it is reverse psychology but maybe he just doesnt know what to do. He also has a limit of how mich he can take remember.

Would you be this shocked if he told you not too or is that what you want him to say really? Imagine he told you again and again not to but you still did, could he live with that, fighting you on this to the end

I hope you both find a way through this together

 

[TiredHorse]

When I revealed my intent to ctb to my best friend, who adores me, after I finished explaining where I was and how bad things were, she replied, "I can see that now. I wish it weren't so, but your pain is so deep, and so apparent even to me, who would do anything to make it otherwise, that I can see how you need to go. I understand. You need to do what you need to do." These past few, darkest months have been awful for her, as she tries to be kind to me and make my life easier, all the while knowing she is probably bidding me farewell, but she has been there for me regardless.

Sometimes a rare, true, deep friend eventually gets it. Maybe your husband has evolved to become that amazing friend. He loves you so much he knows his own needs must be set aside.

 

[Whiskeyjames]

If you really love him and still wanna ctb, shouldnt you just leave your husbsnd now (or commit somthing he truly hate like betrayal) in order to make him hate you? So that when you ctb he wont feel as bad as if he was still in love with you...

If you still cherish his love, then you just gotta suck up all these sucidal thoughts and go get a GOOD psychiatrist...

 

[ForestLove]

If you really love him and still wanna ctb, shouldnt you just leave your husbsnd now (or commit somthing he truly hate like betrayal) in order to make him hate you? So that when you ctb he wont feel as bad as if he was still in love with you...

If you still cherish his love, then you just gotta suck up all these sucidal thoughts and go get a GOOD psychiatrist...

Sorry but I won't do something to betray him or to make him hate me. We have been together for 14yrs. We are each other's best friend.

But come to think if it, won't my CTB be a sort of betrayal to him? Leaving him all alone to grieve for the rest of his Life?

I have seen Psychologist and currently Psychiatrist. I dropped my Psychologist like a potato becoz I think it's not helpful. As for my Psychiatrist, the meds he give don't really help except for benzo (for sleeping). I feel his main duties are prescribing meds and give medical leave. He doesn't seem to care about my condition.

 

[ForestLove]

You want to end your life and he has said he will support you either way, maybe he just doesnt know what else to do especially if your going to attempt anyway. If it was my loved one i would support them 100% rather than see them suffer no matter if deep down i knew it would break me. My partner died i May alone in a hotel room because she was diabetic its not 100% if it was suicide or not, i would give anything to have been with her in her final moments, even if i knew i couldnt stop her from going to that hotel she would have known i loved her because i would have told her over and over till she passed.

Maybe it is reverse psychology but maybe he just doesnt know what to do. He also has a limit of how mich he can take remember.

Would you be this shocked if he told you not too or is that what you want him to say really? Imagine he told you again and again not to but you still did, could he live with that, fighting you on this to the end

I hope you both find a way through this together

I'm so sorry about what happened to your partner. *hugz*

I agree with what you said. He really doesn't know what else he can do except to support whatever decision I made. Maybe after he himself became depressed, he could understand what depression is all about and why I was behaving like these all these while. My attempt last Dec showed him that I am truly depressed and suicidal and I'm not joking. This could be why he realised the intensity of my pain and wanting to support me to CTB even though it hurts him badly.

After the attempt, I told him that i might attempt again after our trip in Feb. He didn't know what to say and was very saddened that it might be our last trip together. As days go by, he came to the acceptance that maybe the only way to stop my pain is to CTB.

If he were to tell me not to CTB, I also dunno what to do. He told me to practise self-love as advised by his psychologist.

I am actually really fortunate to have found true love and support from my family, friends and employer.

Would these be enough to stop me from CTB?

 

[ForestLove]

When I revealed my intent to ctb to my best friend, who adores me, after I finished explaining where I was and how bad things were, she replied, "I can see that now. I wish it weren't so, but your pain is so deep, and so apparent even to me, who would do anything to make it otherwise, that I can see how you need to go. I understand. You need to do what you need to do." These past few, darkest months have been awful for her, as she tries to be kind to me and make my life easier, all the while knowing she is probably bidding me farewell, but she has been there for me regardless.

Sometimes a rare, true, deep friend eventually gets it. Maybe your husband has evolved to become that amazing friend. He loves you so much he knows his own needs must be set aside.

You have your best friend on your back! Not many people have true friends. Your friend really think from your perspective and understand how you are feeling. She loves you so much to set you free even though she will be grieving for the rest of her life. Let's cherish each day as it comes.

 

[Xerxes]

My wife told me last night that I saved her life from depression and she's trying to do the same for me...I don't know what to say or do other than "dont bother, I'm beyond saving..." I wish she can be like your husband and let me go, I know there are many better partners out there besides myself.

It's been a rollercoaster these last few days. One day she hates me and wants me to CTB, other days she misses me and doesn't want me to hurt my head.

 

[ForestLove]

My wife told me last night that I saved her life from depression and she's trying to do the same for me...I don't know what to say or do other than "dont bother, I'm beyond saving..." I wish she can be like your husband and let me go, I know there are many better partners out there besides myself.

It's been a rollercoaster these last few days. One day she hates me and wants me to CTB, other days she misses me and doesn't want me to hurt my head.

Sorry to hear that both you and your wife are having a hard time. It must have been emotionally draining for both of you all these while. CTB is a big decision. That's why we are all facing all these dilemmas.

Wondering if you really CTB, what would your wife do? Will she grieve forever or follow your steps? My husband told me that irregardless, he will never CTB.

Maybe I should think about our marriage vows..to be together through thick and thin.

 

[Jai]

Told my husband that for my next attempt, I make sure it will be 100% successful.

You guess what he replied?

"I won't encourage you to kill yourself but I will support you on whatever decision you make."

I was liked, ". Where on Earth would someone you love said such things to you?"

I guess I have made him crazy.

He cares for me so much that he is willing to let me go despite knowing he will be alone for the rest of his Life. I am all he got.

I really dunno what to do/say.

Better then having the one you love for nearly two decades just leave at least he loves and respects your wishes I thought
My partner may understand what a colossal mistake that was of course he ways you to find peace

 

[Jai]

Better then having the one you love for nearly two decades just leave at least he loves and respects your wishes I thought
My partner may understand what a colossal mistake that was of course he ways you to find peace

Edits wants you

 

[TheCrow]

Do you think it's possible that you were just making a cry for help? Did you perhaps want to show him just how unhappy you are so that you could hear him tell you how much he loves you and comfort you? Sometimes I look back and think that the times I discussed ctb with my mother was because I wanted her to understand how bad of a state I was in. She was never affectionate with me, and I think I wanted her to tell me she loved me and that she couldn't imagine her life without me (spoiler alert: she didn't). I don't doubt that you want to ctb, but maybe you discussed it with him to get extra comfort and love and reassurance?

 

[Jai]

I don't mean to be insulting, but do you think it's possible that you were just making a cry for help? Did you perhaps want to show him just how unhappy you are so that you could hear him tell you how much he loves you and comfort you? Sometimes I look back and think that the times I discussed ctb with my mother was because I wanted her to understand how bad of a state I was in. She was never affectionate with me, and I think I wanted her to tell me she loved me and that she couldn't imagine her life without me (spoiler alert: she didn't). I don't doubt that you want to ctb, but maybe you discussed it with him to get extra comfort and love and reassurance?

No cry for help sorry about your mother and situation it's hard to read context from texted posts, all I meant was you have someone who understands and despite that being what you didn't expect is really true love you don't give me an ulterior motive for your husband to want you to pass or to wish any harm to you I just said it was better the. His reaction to just leave or call the authorities or whatever else my harm you

 

[TheCrow]

No cry for help sorry about your mother and situation it's hard to read context from texted posts, all I meant was you have someone who understands and despite that being what you didn't expect is really true love you don't give me an ulterior motive for your husband to want you to pass or to wish any harm to you I just said it was better the. His reaction to just leave or call the authorities or whatever else my harm you

I guess I kinda meant what did you expect him to say & why, & then I offered a suggestion for the why? Idk, I'm not meaning to be harsh. Also, no worries—I wasn't responding to anything you said.

 

[Jai]

I'm sorry my mistake don't worry I'm full of those Godspeed