flowerformygrave
New Member
- Nov 18, 2023
- 4
So I'm sure people here feel the same but I'm just wondering to what extent. Am I crazy? Everyday I wake up and I feel so much mental exhaustion. Physical exhaustion because I'm always in pain from various things and mentally because I've been dealing with MDD for idk more than 10 years. That makes me sound old but, I'm not even that old and that what stresses me out SO much. I won't get better. I know because I've had counselors tell me I can only manage my depression. I have friends who feel the same as me but not on my scale so I feel like I'm just mentally going insane. I hate this earth and I especially hate humans. I hate me because of it and people always look at me crazy when I say "humans". No duh I'm human but it's disgusting. I feel disgusting and ashamed to even be human. All we love is violence and suffering. We could all come together to make the world a better place but instead we worry about money and what food we have to eat. It's every single say and I'm just so tired of hating. I also love this earth and I love seeing people smile and laugh and I just want to see that for the rest of my life but I'm in so much mental pain seeing how many people dont want to be here like me and they feel stuck. It hurts so bad. I'm sorry you have to feel broken and unloved and I wish my love for you was enough but the world taught us we need or families love when family doesn't mean sh!t and friends and turn in you in literal seconds. Sometimes just cause. I know I won't live long if I can succeed. I've failed more times than I can count and I know I wont fail again I just wish I could change the world so no one would have to feel this way. I just want everyone to be happy but I dont think happiness is real. I dont think any of this is real. We do everything for the government and then we die.
