I got what I need and I can't hold on

[BipolarGuy]

I uploaded a thread earlier about how my SN has been delivered today (link below).

I wrote about how it had been delivered earlier than expected and how I wanted to make arrangements, but I don't feel that I am able to hold on.
I don't feel like I need to arrange my own funeral or anything of the sort.
I would however like to have a proper cleanup.

I may end up leaving for good as soon as this weekend or early next week, just after the weekend.

If my place was sorted I'd consider doing it tomorrow.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/oh-my-god-its-here.49245/

God I'm sat here crying.

 

[GreenTree]

You seam a good bloke. Dont deserve your pain.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

What happened to the plan of pretending to be a Halloween decoration?

 

[BipolarGuy]

What happened to the plan of pretending to be a Halloween decoration?

That genuinely made me smile in real life.

 

[Ghost2211]

SN arrival can cause a lot of rollercoaster. One minute you're relieved and the next eager/anxious. Try to let it all settle in friend. We're here for you. It would be super fun to show off all of our costumes. Of course mine was boring last year I was a cat lol.

 

[BipolarGuy]

SN arrival can cause a lot of rollercoaster. One minute you're relieved and the next eager/anxious. Try to let it all settle in friend. We're here for you. It would be super fun to show off all of our costumes. Of course mine was boring last year I was a cat lol.

I do feel a bit better having slept, thank you.
I don't think it's going to be a matter of weeks though. It will likely be this week.

 

[tiredxillenial]

I can relate. I feel like it may be a bit longer for me. Now that I've got a reliable method, I feel I can hang on longer/less suicidal.

 

[Wayfaerer]

SN arrival can cause a lot of rollercoaster. One minute you're relieved and the next eager/anxious. Try to let it all settle in friend. We're here for you. It would be super fun to show off all of our costumes. Of course mine was boring last year I was a cat lol.

I received my SN no problem but I didn't feel that relieved because then I need to get antiemetics and acid reducers and all this crap that is so hard to get. I still also don't know if I can even do this method because of the drugs I take everyday. I already have the means to CTB if it was a dire emergency but I'd rather much rather take a clean and peaceful approach like SN than just blowing my head off.

 

[xLosthopex]

I'm in a similar position where I have everything I need to go at any moment but I have so much clean up to do, things to get rid of, affairs to get in order etc which ironically I've been too depressed and wanting to ctb to start doing lol

 

[Ghost2211]

I received my SN no problem but I didn't feel that relieved because then I need to get antiemetics and acid reducers and all this crap that is so hard to get. I still also don't know if I can even do this method because of the drugs I take everyday. I already have the means to CTB if it was a dire emergency but I'd rather much rather take a clean and peaceful approach like SN than just blowing my head off.

Yeah, that's the downside to SN. There's a lot of steps, components, and prep. Technically SN -can- kill on its own. The other steps are for comfort and making things go smoother. People do die without AE. To be honest my meto will no longer be viable well before my SN, so I'll likely skip it. Even if I woke up after taking SN I would just drink it again. The body can only take so much.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I'm in a similar position where I have everything I need to go at any moment but I have so much clean up to do, things to get rid of, affairs to get in order etc which ironically I've been too depressed and wanting to ctb to start doing lol

Yes this is it. Too depressed to do anything.

I've even questioned whether it's worth sorting out EVERYTHING. A few bits maybe, but everything?

Our society is so obsessed with bureaucracy and paperwork that we're unwilling to end our suffering before the correct paperwork has been filled in (wills, etc).