Hi everyone.
I'm new to this site. I never thought I'd ever join this site.
When I was younger, I was conditioned to the rat race mentality, to get a job and study hard. Because I'm Asian. But one day, I opened my eyes and said f*ck that.
I started rebelling away from my parents and eventually became a rich kid by doing YouTube, I then blew it all with my new friends, and sadly the YouTube got taken down…
I got depressed, because it was my baby and my bread and butter that would define my confidence.
3 years later, I lived with my parents and I hated it. They kept telling me to study go school and become a doctor.
To that I said no again and ran away from home.
I had 2k in the bank, started doing uber eats as a job, then worked my way up the corporate ladder.
One day, after 6 months of this, I decided to start my own online business. I had all the motivation in the world.
But after 1.5 years, I made more than doctor money in a single month. I lost all meaning and purpose, I started doing shrooms and I couldn't handle the stress of waking up to 3 clients telling me to go f*ck myself, taxes and paying my employees who were bullying each other.
I tried getting help from these online gurus for these issues only to get scammed out of my money ($50k lost).
I had suicidal thoughts and tendencies so I called my parents and asked to visit them, because family was the last thing that mattered to me…
Only to come back to be pitched by my dad with a new business idea with the skills I've developed over the past year. After he told me I was such a retard for starting in the beginning, now you're asking for my services?!? I didn't even get a "how are you doing son?"
The last thing I'm doing is getting what I want by selling my soul or turning into another online guru.
I turned into blackpill ideology since. You can probs find me in the agency space online but as of right now, I'm trying to stack the confidence to jump off.
But I'm scared that if I jump off, will I go to hell?
Is this what Satan wants me to do? Because I was raised Christian all my life, then after drugs became atheist but then an experience got me back to Christianity and god.
Yet, living in this world makes no sense anymore. I'd rather be homeless and not wake up, I've sunk so low as the business became meaningless and everything I built was for nothing. And I hate the people I ended up helping.
I paid for therapy, and even underground methods. Nothing worked.
Anyone experience the same?
I'm new to this site. I never thought I'd ever join this site.
When I was younger, I was conditioned to the rat race mentality, to get a job and study hard. Because I'm Asian. But one day, I opened my eyes and said f*ck that.
I started rebelling away from my parents and eventually became a rich kid by doing YouTube, I then blew it all with my new friends, and sadly the YouTube got taken down…
I got depressed, because it was my baby and my bread and butter that would define my confidence.
3 years later, I lived with my parents and I hated it. They kept telling me to study go school and become a doctor.
To that I said no again and ran away from home.
I had 2k in the bank, started doing uber eats as a job, then worked my way up the corporate ladder.
One day, after 6 months of this, I decided to start my own online business. I had all the motivation in the world.
But after 1.5 years, I made more than doctor money in a single month. I lost all meaning and purpose, I started doing shrooms and I couldn't handle the stress of waking up to 3 clients telling me to go f*ck myself, taxes and paying my employees who were bullying each other.
I tried getting help from these online gurus for these issues only to get scammed out of my money ($50k lost).
I had suicidal thoughts and tendencies so I called my parents and asked to visit them, because family was the last thing that mattered to me…
Only to come back to be pitched by my dad with a new business idea with the skills I've developed over the past year. After he told me I was such a retard for starting in the beginning, now you're asking for my services?!? I didn't even get a "how are you doing son?"
The last thing I'm doing is getting what I want by selling my soul or turning into another online guru.
I turned into blackpill ideology since. You can probs find me in the agency space online but as of right now, I'm trying to stack the confidence to jump off.
But I'm scared that if I jump off, will I go to hell?
Is this what Satan wants me to do? Because I was raised Christian all my life, then after drugs became atheist but then an experience got me back to Christianity and god.
Yet, living in this world makes no sense anymore. I'd rather be homeless and not wake up, I've sunk so low as the business became meaningless and everything I built was for nothing. And I hate the people I ended up helping.
I paid for therapy, and even underground methods. Nothing worked.
Anyone experience the same?
