Story I got exposed

[gabe]

Last afternoon I posted in a private social phobia facebook group about my suicidal ideation. A member of the group read it and sent messages to some of my friends, my boyfriend and my mother saying that I was planning to do it tomorrow (I need to buy my SN in the local lab supplier). Suddenly some people started sending me messages to know if i was okay and needed help, and they told me about receiving messages from a stranger saying about my post. I saw howmany people love me and care about me, now I'm very confused. All this has left me wondering if I should ctb or not.

Sorry about my english, I'm nervous.

 

[k75]

If you have any doubt at all, then I think the answer is no. You shouldn't ctb.

There's no timeline you have to follow. There's no rush. You can always die tomorrow, but you can never come back to life.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Last afternoon I posted in a private social phobia facebook group about my suicidal ideation. A member of the group read it and sent messages to some of my friends, my boyfriend and my mother saying that I was planning to do it tomorrow (I need to buy my SN in the local lab supplier). Suddenly some people started sending me messages to know if i was okay and needed help, and they told me about receiving messages from a stranger saying about my post. I saw howmany people love me and care about me, now I'm very confused. All this has left me wondering if I should ctb or not.

Sorry about my english, I'm nervous.

So sorry this happened to you. It's better not to post those kind of thoughts linked to facebook. It's too late now but I would tell everyone your fine. (Lie your ass off)
You don't have to CTB … you can take time to decide what is right for you. Also right now people will be watching you more closely. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to try to buy SN, unless you think you can do it without getting caught.
Maybe see how it goes. I hate to see someone CTB if they can have a good life. I don't know how old you are … could things get better?
Also … you don't need to post your age on here... I should have mentioned that earlier.

 

[gabe]

If you have any doubt at all, then I think the answer is no. You shouldn't ctb.

There's no timeline you have to follow. There's no rush. You can always die tomorrow, but you can never come back to life.

I'm not 100% sure anymore. I was feeling so great and fantasising about getting free of all the problems and all the anguish, but now I'm confused. I don't know If I will have the courage to ctb in the next hours.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm not 100% sure anymore. I was feeling so great and fantasising about getting free of all the problems and all the anguish, but now I'm confused. I don't know If I will have the courage to ctb in the next hours.

I wish you the best... whatever you decide. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[gabe]

So sorry this happened to you. It's better not to post those kind of thoughts linked to facebook. It's too late now but I would tell everyone your fine. (Lie your ass off)
You don't have to CTB … you can take time to decide what is right for you. Also right now people will be watching you more closely. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to try to buy SN, unless you think you can do it without getting caught.
Maybe see how it goes. I hate to see someone CTB if they can have a good life. I don't know how old you are … could things get better?
Also … you don't need to post your age on here... I should have mentioned that earlier.

Yes friend, I was very naive by posting those thoughts in a facebook group. I told everyone that the person who told them is crazy and that I don't know anything about it. Also I deleted all of my posts on the group.

I can get it without anyone seeing me, I'm completely alone in the city becausa everybody travelled on college vacation, my roommates, my boyfriend, my friends, and my mother lives in a city 400km away from where I live, so I'm completely alone in the city and in my home. But now I'm thinking, I'm not sure about ctb or not. I really want to end all the anguish, but I'm not sure If I want to die.

Also, I'm ashamed of now being known as a potential suicidal, I don't want to have to deal with it.

Oh, I'm 23.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yes friend, I was very naive by posting those thoughts in a facebook group. I told everyone that the person who told them is crazy and that I don't know anything about it. Also I deleted all of my posts on the group.

I can get it without anyone seeing me, I'm completely alone in the city becausa everybody travelled on college vacation, my roommates, my boyfriend, my friends, and my mother lives in a city 400km away from where I live, so I'm completely alone in the city and in my home. But now I'm thinking, I'm not sure about ctb or not. I really want to end all the anguish, but I'm not sure If I want to die.

Also, I'm ashamed of now being known as a potential suicidal, I don't want to have to deal with it.

Oh, I'm 23.

When you posted them were you looking for help ? I wouldn't be ashamed of being suicidal. Many people are they just don't admit to it. Before finding this site and the original S.S. that was taken down, I only told one person I wanted to die. Just be careful about posting too much info on here. I don't post my age... I guess I'm just weird about it. I can't tell you what you should do. I wish I had died in my early 20's (Actually I wish it was in utero).
If you are having doubts, you can always wait. It doesn't have to be tonight.

 

[gabe]

When you posted them were you looking for help ? I wouldn't be ashamed of being suicidal. Many people are they just don't admit to it. Before finding this site and the original S.S. that was taken down, I only told one person I wanted to die. Just be careful about posting too much info on here. I don't post my age... I guess I'm just weird about it. I can't tell you what you should do. I wish I had died in my early 20's (Actually I wish it was in utero).
If you are having doubts, you can always wait. It doesn't have to be tonight.

I don't know why I posted, maybe I wanted some people to know, or unconsciously I was looking for help, I don't know.

Right now I'm floating in a sea of confusion, I saw that there's a lot of people willing to help me, and on the other hand I still believe that death may be the best way out of suffering. I need to sleep and think.

 

[HereToday]

Sorry that happened to you. On the bright side, you got to see that people care about you. If you're unsure whether you should ctb or not, then no you shouldn't. You should only do it when you're completely sure

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't know why I posted, maybe I wanted some people to know, or unconsciously I was looking for help, I don't know.

Right now I'm floating in a sea of confusion, I saw that there's a lot of people willing to help me, and on the other hand I still believe that death may be the best way out of suffering. I need to sleep and think.

I think maybe getting some rest might help... I don't know. I don't know when people will be coming back to your school but you should have some time left.

 

[k75]

In every post you've reiterated that you're confused and unsure now, so I really think you should give yourself a little more time to figure things out. It's ok, really! We'll be here for you no matter what you decide. There's no shame in feeling suicidal, and there's no shame in postponing or changing your mind.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

In every post you've reiterated that you're confused and unsure now, so I really think you should give yourself a little more time to figure things out. It's ok, really! We'll be here for you no matter what you decide. There's no shame in feeling suicidal, and there's no shame in postponing or changing your mind.

I can't agree more.

 

[underthesea]

Last afternoon I posted in a private social phobia facebook group about my suicidal ideation. A member of the group read it and sent messages to some of my friends, my boyfriend and my mother saying that I was planning to do it tomorrow (I need to buy my SN in the local lab supplier). Suddenly some people started sending me messages to know if i was okay and needed help, and they told me about receiving messages from a stranger saying about my post. I saw howmany people love me and care about me, now I'm very confused. All this has left me wondering if I should ctb or not.

Sorry about my english, I'm nervous.

Hello,
I saw this after I read your post on my goodbye thread.

I am sorry to hear that you are in such anguish. I know how debilitating that can be. I don't know the reasons why you wish to end your life at 23, such a young age, or what is causing all the anguish, but know this - you are blessed that so many people care about you. That means you have people around you who will help you. Whatever is causing your anguish, talk to at least one person who cares about you and who you can trust, hopefully someone with experience. Maybe they can offer some constructive solutions to your problems. Sometimes a different perspective helps. When things are dark around us, it is hard to find our way out. Someone else who is removed from the situation perhaps can see the path more clearly and guide you. Take the help people are willing to offer. There is nothing wrong in asking for help from people who care about you. We all need help at some point; you are lucky to have people who will help. Many of us are not so lucky.

Please reconsider. Suicide is a choice, but it should never be pursued impulsively, without years of forethought, without weighing all pros and cons, without exhausting all available options, because it is a drastic irreversible step to what may be fixable problems, especially if you have a strong network of caring and supportive people to see you through the dark days.

I wish you clarity and a quiet mind to make the right decision, and whatever you choose I wish you all the best. I hope you choose to give life a second chance and to give it your best shot. Peace and lots of love!

 

[gabe]

Thank you for your replies guys, with your help I've been able to think better and reconsidered about ctb now. I don't know what I'm going to be thinking about it tomorrow, but I don't wanna die now, not today. Tomorrow is another day. Thank you all!