jellymomo
if beauty is in the inside i wanna see my bones
- Sep 30, 2023
- 36
Life is so exhausting to keep up with. Everyone is going on with their life, succeeding, meanwhile i'm depressed contemplating whether i should live or not. I figured I might as well get it over with and ctb.
i don't know if it's just me or is everyone so fucking rude and selfish. No matter how kind they act towards me it's like i can see through their act, see their hatred towards me because im ugly and looks are everything. I've lost faith in humanity the way no one has sympathy for one another. It's not even only on the internet just in general.. like this is why i give up.
I don't think it'll ever get better for me mentally, matter of fact i don't want it to because i know deep down in my heart i don't want to live and if i get better ill ruin my chances of ctbing.
Also, it seems that my only way of enjoying life is my escapism coping mechanisms. I'm a maladaptive day dreamer and I know how much it's ruining my life but i think it's for the better. If my only way of enjoying life is escaping it then what's even the point...?
i don't know if it's just me or is everyone so fucking rude and selfish. No matter how kind they act towards me it's like i can see through their act, see their hatred towards me because im ugly and looks are everything. I've lost faith in humanity the way no one has sympathy for one another. It's not even only on the internet just in general.. like this is why i give up.
I don't think it'll ever get better for me mentally, matter of fact i don't want it to because i know deep down in my heart i don't want to live and if i get better ill ruin my chances of ctbing.
Also, it seems that my only way of enjoying life is my escapism coping mechanisms. I'm a maladaptive day dreamer and I know how much it's ruining my life but i think it's for the better. If my only way of enjoying life is escaping it then what's even the point...?