Venting I fucking hate being young (only 21 years old) because it means I'm further away from death, and death is all I want.

[ConfusedHurting2632]

There, the title says it. The younger you are, in theory, the further away from death you are, and at 21 I'm still very young, assuming my full natural lifespan would be 60-80 something years old.

It feels like I've been alive for so long, and been through so many unbearable obstacles...and yet I'm only 21 and not even halfway through my lifespan.

I wish I was old and fragile so that I'd be closer to death (naturally). But at age 21 a natural death is so fucking far away, and I hate it.

 

[popcorn1234]

I feel you on this. I am 23 years old and wish I was older, so I was closer to death, as well.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel, I'm also 21, and I feel like I have suffered enough at this point. Non existence is ideal as it's freedom from everything, it will always be preferable to living. As long as someone is alive, they are capable of suffering to such great extents and that is horrifying. The thought of this life going on for many more decades is so dreadful. I just wish that suicide is easier, and it really should be. It's just so wrong how we are denied a peaceful exit.

 

[CemetryGates]

Young people almost get belittled when they are suicidal, and when a young person takes their own life it's seen as a "waste" or a "silly thing to do" but truth is pain and suffering does not discriminate no matter what the age. I'm 22 and am in such deep pain and would do anything to go yet people won't be able to understand.

 

[ConfusedHurting2632]

I feel you on this. I am 23 years old and wish I was older, so I was closer to death, as well.

I'm glad I'm not alone on this. It feels nice to have someone relate to me.

I understand how you feel, I'm also 21, and I feel like I have suffered enough at this point. Non existence is ideal as it's freedom from everything, it will always be preferable to living. As long as someone is alive, they are capable of suffering to such great extents and that is horrifying. The thought of this life going on for many more decades is so dreadful. I just wish that suicide is easier, and it really should be. It's just so wrong how we are denied a peaceful exit.

I couldn't agree more with everything you said. It's just so wrong to force people to keep living against their will, you know? And yes, the thought of this life going on for many more decades is absolutely dreadful. Non-existence is the ideal for me, why must it be so hard to achieve?

Young people almost get belittled when they are suicidal, and when a young person takes their own life it's seen as a "waste" or a "silly thing to do" but truth is pain and suffering does not discriminate no matter what the age. I'm 22 and am in such deep pain and would do anything to go yet people won't be able to understand.

Oh yes, pain and suffering absolutely does not discriminate no matter the age. I already didn't like my life as early as 6 years old (earliest memories), and it did not get better from there. People often tend to make fun of "depressed edgy teenagers" or whatever, but what if they're truly suffering and not "just being edgy?" Sanctioned-Suicide has an 18+ requirement for legal reasons which I can understand, but in an ideal world it wouldn't have to be there because pain and suffering truly do not discriminate. My more intense suffering began around age 17, so almost the legal age, but I was already very unhappy from age 6 onwards. It sucks people don't understand this stuff.

 

[Salvation_]

Yeah, it seems major depression hit me when I was 16 and it never went away. College exacerbated it and I'm tired.

 

[ConfusedHurting2632]

Yeah, it seems major depression hit me when I was 16 and it never went away. College exacerbated it and I'm tired.

Wow, your story is very similar to mine, except for me it was age 17, and I never went to (and don't plan to go to) college. High school already exacerbated my depression enough on its own, I imagine college would only make it even worse because of all the extra stress and hard work. I'm also very tired and just want a peaceful way out.

 

[chloramine]

I get that. I'm 24 now and I've wanted to die since I was 10-12. I was too afraid to ever tell anyone, but I definitely noticed the narratives of younger people dying being seen as a waste and it just. Made me feel like a resource. The idea that people must suffer until they're middle aged or older in order for it to count is insane. I've always been terrified of being forced to live out the majority of my life before dying.

 

[nys]

I relate to that. I dont wanna say my exact age for privacy/safety reasons but Im pretty young too. Idk why ppl have such an objection to ppl ctb'ing while young. Theyre like "youre so young, you still have your whole life ahead of you!"

Even if you have a problem thats not temporary & there's no way for it to get better theyre like "You shouldnt ctb bc you still have so much of your life to live!" How is living a long & super miserable & painful life, like until 80 or so, better than just ending it quickly so you dont need to suffer for so many extra decades??? I genuinely dont get it

 

[Messgram]

if that's how you think, just ruin your health with drugs and a bad diet and at 30 you'll be as fucked up and close to death as an old man

 

[Job Joad]

I'm in my 40's and wish I were older not younger. I feel like the world is going to be very hard to live in the coming years and I hope I don't have to be around for it. All the old religious people are dying out so maybe the tribulation is real and Satan is bound to take over the earth. I'm still here so I'm pissed!

 

[pls.deleteallmypost]

Turning 20 this month, I hope I can cbt before my birthday

 

[Worndown]

Death comes when death comes. Unless you speed the process, we have no way of knowing how long we will live.

 

[JinZhin]

I'm 22 as of recently but I feel so damn ancient already, but I relate to feeling of dread which comes when thinking of how much longer we are expected to stay alive.

This "life" thing has been going on for so long already and it's exhausting.

 

[GasMonkey]

Damn, you are really patient if you are gonna wait ~60 years for natural death.
Props to you, there is no fucking way I'd ever do that.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I wish I were In my 90s so I could just stop taking whatever medication I would have to be on and die Or just stop eating or something… If I was in my 90s I probably would've died already from heartbreak

 

[Infernal]

I feel the same, but at the same time I don't feel like life after 20s is worth living at all. Even after 25. Basically all the things I value about existence will be taken away; being physically cute and healthy, getting to dress in fun clothes and be a part of youth culture, experience young love, etc. I'm 24 and I feel like I've almost missed the boat on all of that due to being autistic and mentally ill. I cannot imagine being happy as a middle-aged or old person. So I wish that I was old as well, but like within 5 years of when I will die. I think I could handle 5 years of waiting around if I knew death was coming soon. I'm afraid all those in-between decades with more decades of continual physical decline stretching before me are going to be hell. I'm comforted by the fact that I will inevitably die at some point, but I know if I don't find a way out soon I have years of continually worsening suffering to get through before that finally happens.

 

[Ravel]

I feel that way too. I'm 24 years old and I've been living waiting for death since I was 14. I'm so tired

 

[PainAndSadness]

It can happen at anytime despite age

 

[theboy]

living like an old man while being young

 

[botch3d]

Just wondering - do you guys have any physical issues or mostly mental ?

 

[StolenLife]

Same. I deadass had an existential crisis and some childlike form of nihilism at five fucking years old after my grandparents (and unborn sibling apparently) died. I couldn't enjoy the moment, I only thought about death and passage of time. My dearest classmates abused me from ages 6-14, and I developed social anxiety, depression and some mild form od ptsd. Traumatising shit happened at 12, I became a friendless loser shut in. Then at 15 I got straight up suicidal and attempted at 16. Now I'm 22, and I'm still suicidal for the same reasons I was then. I don't care for sunsets, sunrises, yoga, nature, gym or whatever bullshit normies come up with. I want black, darkness, nothingness. I feel ancient and deep down I know that I should have died at 12 when I almost drowned. I've seen everything I had to see here and it's more then enough. Please someone end me already.
Fucking.End.Me.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

I'm 24 and feel like this. I feel ashamed because of it life isn't worth it anymore for me. I wanted kids but reality set in and made me realise it isn't worth it anymore. And neither is my life now