I found SN

[tvo]

Hi

So I was able to find SN but I have used up all my savings in medical bills in my futile efforts to make a full recovery from my sustained injuries (multiple fractures) and PTSD, aswell as previously failed CTB attempts (very traumatic). I have also lost my livelihood and sold a lot of my stuff, hence why I need to exit with the quickness.

I have posted in another thread that I was involved in a horrific car crash several years ago, I am in a lot of physical pain (chronic), I was also diagnosed with PTSD, very debilitating. Dew to the ongoing pain, I have been struggling to generate income to take care of myself. Need to CTB ASAP to end this ongoing pain and preserve the little dignity left.

I currently need around $60 to procure the things necessary. Fuck I am scared right now. This dying gig is not as easy as people make it out to be " taking the easy way out".

I wanted to do a live update Good bye Thread when I take my SN, but I may have to sell my phone (the last gadget I have).

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible and torturous what you are going though, it sounds like you've suffered so much. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[tvo]

Thanks for your kind words. I have genuinely done everything in my power and exhausted all efforts not to get to this point where I have to carry out my own death, but here I am.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Thanks for your kind words. I have genuinely done everything in power in an effort not to get to this point where I have to carry out my own death, but here I am.

I feel the same. I tried but it too late. I am so sorry.

 

[tvo]

I feel the same. I tried but it too late. I am so sorry.

Deeply sorry for the ongoing torment you are going through. Healing from traumatic experiences can be quite a challenging feat

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. CTB is the way out but it's never easy - unfortunately. It really sucks that there are no legal ways out for people who are in your position and it is made so difficult. I hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do.

 

[iloverachel]

It sounds truly horrific what you are going through my friend
I hope you are able to find peace soon my friend.
Best wishes, and please keep us updated

 

[tvo]

It sounds truly horrific what you are going through my friend
I hope you are able to find peace soon my friend.
Best wishes, and please keep us updated

Being involved in a horrific car crash I have been through, is equivalent to jumping from a high raise building but not dying from the impact, imagine the excruciating pain from sustained multiple fractures all over your body, It is brutal , which is why I am terrified to do the Jump CTB, cause I mean... you just do not want to survive that kinda CTB attempt. I have traumatic childhood experiences, so life has always been extremely challenging but after the car crash my life challenges just levelled up to impossible.

I'll include more of what I went through on my good bye Thread as soon as I get SN. I DO NOT want to go out by hangin (both the excruciating physical and psychological pain before unconsciousness). Being pinned and helpless inside a badly wrecked car that can catch fire at any second was (words fail me) deeply traumatic, hence my intense fear to go out through a traumatic CTB.

I have been through a lot. I need the SN exit, I'll even do it without the Meds.

 

[iloverachel]

Being involved in a horrific car crash I have been through, is equivalent to jumping from a high raise building but not dying from the impact, imagine the excruciating pain from sustained multiple fractures all over your body, It is brutal , which is why I am terrified to do the Jump CTB, cause I mean... you just do not want to survive that kinda CTB attempt. I have traumatic childhood experiences, so life has always been extremely challenging but after the car crash my life challenges just levelled up to impossible.

I'll include more of what I went through on my good bye Thread as soon as I get SN. fuck I DO NOT want to go out by hanging, both the excruciating physical and psychological pain before unconsciousness. Being pinned and helpless inside a badly wrecked car that can catch fire at any second was (words fail me) deeply traumatic, hence my intense fear to go out through a traumatic CTB.

Fuck I have been through a lot. I need the SN exit, I'll do without the meds.

Were you suicidal and considering ctb prior to the horrific car crash?

 

[tvo]

It sounds truly horrific what you are going through my friend
I hope you are able to find peace soon my friend.
Best wishes, and please keep us updated

Yes I will keep you updated. I have greatly benefited a lot from other selfless members who have made efforts to post their SN updates despite their pain and overwhelming challenges. I have thought about it, I will refrain from selling my phone as I need it to get SN. For now I will focus on calming myself through the practice of meditation and listening to relaxing music, hopefully something will materialize

Were you suicidal and considering ctb prior to the horrific car crash?

Yes, but I decided to push through the challenges and made some progress and I intended to move out of the City and buy acres of land in a remote area surrounded by plants and animals, spectacular views and live off grid. Cannabis is my favourite plant, I have had the most beautiful experiences with this plant.