I found out he cheated…

[XdragonsoulX]

I found out he cheated 2 days after his birthday while we were on vacation with his family to celebrate his birthday. I baked him a cake, I bought him edibles so many fucking edibles for that vacation! There's so many fucking details about this that is fucked up, I swear I'm fucking losing it. I first found out when I saw bumble on his phone in December, but he swore he was using it for the bff mode, I checked it was in bff and did some digging of my own about it. But i know he used it before for dating, but when we first got together I made him delete it. Now when i had searched his phone while he was asleep, when i found bumble, i had seen the login but I didn't know what the site was for bc of how plain the title was. I never looked into it fully until now.

But the fucking site

It's fucking Grindr basically Grindr without the filter with dicks out everywhere, I swear to god I think he cheated or he thought about it, but still just even making a stupid account on that site alone enough is cheating. it's why I know he is guilty, and says he is not the best fiancé, oh yeah we got engaged a month before his birthday, he never takes the ring off bc I told him if he does I never will give it back again until he earns it. This is why he cried that night I confronted him about bumble. Fuck Fuck Fuck I'm leaving it open on his phone gonna gaslight him, something how do I even go about this? Do I let him know I know!? I just I can't believe this if he leaves me bc of it that's it for me cause I'll have nothing else to live for I Fuck up everything I disappoint everybody these meds don't work therapy doesn't work nothing fucking works but he knows I wanna ctb he knows so he may not but how can I trust him he's the only reason I stick around Fuck Fuck fuck why does this always happen to me? Why can't I just be happy we are literally fucking engaged!!!!

 

[achb]

I'm so sorry. That's such a shitty situation. I can't imagine how much that would fuck with me

 

[Meteora]

I m very sorry for what you have to go through.... So you confronted him? What did he say?

he never takes the ring off bc I told him if he does I never will give it back again until he earns it. This is why he cried that night

Why would you say that to him? I don't understand?

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I haven't confronted him yet, I'm going to tomorrow during the eclipse.

 

[wisp]

It is a bad situation and we are with you, but it is not a good reason to ctb.
Relationships begin and end, cheating exists, and the most logical advice to you is to sever the relationship now and stop looking for him. He likes to take other dicks, there is no point in running after him because he can't change, he doesn't love you, otherwise he would never have undertaken more research on dating sites even starting sexting with others.
Let it go, cry for two months then you get over it and find another one. Without him you can live, time is a gentleman, let it flow and process the loss it will pass.
Imagine killing yourself over a betrayal, it is crazy and ridiculous, you will have other opportunities with other people and as you met him you will meet others. He doesn't love you, let it go, cry for two months and then move on. Give yourself time

 

[orange-waffle]

im so sorry , f him

 

[M1sT]

I am so sorry for you!
You deserve better!
Fxck him!

 

[mtoro998]

Atleast you found out before you got married.

 

[Readytogo246]

I'd keep it open and surveal him. Then catch him!

 

[XdragonsoulX]

So I confronted him about it, while on the phone, not how I wanted it to happen, but how it had to happen I guess. He came home from work and just hugged me. He says he'll do anything to make up for it, I made him delete the login info, I checked he doesn't have it saved that I'm aware of. But I know that account is still not deleted and if he were to make another account I'm sure I'd find it then too. :/ I can't trust him, the one person I thought i could trust through everything, has betrayed me, and I just have to sit and act like everything is okay when we're with his family, when I'm with him. But I know it's not. But I can't just wallow up and cry all day… I want to trust him, I need to trust him .-. He says he only trusts me 9/10 cause I'm sure he knows about this, and my distrust with him. While I trust him only 5/10, I can barely keep my thoughts down long enough to breathe. But I gave him a task. If he wants to continue being with me he needs to act like it, that he has to write me a whole letter, detailing everything that he did wrong, why he did it, why he couldn't of just asked me, and why he could be so low to fucking turn to some other mf just bc he was horny and wanted dick pics. Fucking liar. I don't believe it was just for pics and he can tell me it was all day long but I don't believe him, one key piece of information sent I believe 3-4 times as he claims to bait them to send pics, while I believe it was bait bc he wanted to do more. I just idk what to believe and I get I'm rambling about this, but how else will these thoughts stop?

 

[Helvete]

Proud of your for confronting him, that is fucking impossible to do. And i disagree, you dont just have to sit there and act like everything is fine because its not. We are made with emotions for a reason, and clearly you have alarm bells going off in your head letting you know that this is not ok, so you dont need to repress those thoughts at all. What you can do is continue to work with him and be up front about your concerns always, because he owes it to you big time. He also doesnt deserve your trust so dont feel like you are wrong for the distrust. Its natural to have these thoughts too, and they will likely subside at least somewhat over time. You can heal and trust can come back because we all make mistakes, although dont get me wrong I am NOT justifying his shitty behavior because fuck that, im so sorry you are going through this!

 

[BlazingBob]

Relationships shouldn't hurt so much. I believe trust is like breaking an expensive vase. You can glue it back together but it's never quite the same. I remember years ago when a GF told me she was screwing some guy from work. It felt like someone hit me in the chest with a baseball bat. It's horrible but the pain does eventually stop.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Relationships shouldn't hurt so much. I believe trust is like breaking an expensive vase. You can glue it back together but it's never quite the same. I remember years ago when a GF told me she was screwing some guy from work. It felt like someone hit me in the chest with a baseball bat. It's horrible but the pain does eventually stop.

I hope I can learn to trust him again, I just want this relationship to work he's the only reason I decided to get better :/

 

[BlazingBob]

I hope I can learn to trust him again, I just want this relationship to work he's the only reason I decided to get better :/

It tough. I totally understand.

 

[efffervescence]

Honestly being cheated on effectively ruined my life. I did recover from it, but only after I left him, and I was never the same. One of my biggest regrets is staying with him as long as I did after it happened because it just made me continue to spiral, but I do wonder if I would've ended up where I did regardless or even faster if I had left him earlier. If I could give you advice, I'd tell you to leave if things don't improve in your head. This guy will likely take you to the depths and I felt the same as you, he was my lifeline, I thought he was the only thing that could make me better, but there are better men out there and you deserve to be with someone that will treat you with loyalty and respect. I know it's hard to leave and being alone is a terrifying thought when you feel the way that you do, but start leaning on other members of your support system now and it will lessen that feeling

 

[nexus2049]

The best thing you can do is end it honestly. As painful as that's going to be in the short term, you are setting yourself up for more pain in the long term by staying with someone who cheated on you. You need to show that you respect yourself, as he surely will not.

I know this sounds harsh, but it's the reality of the situation.