Venting I forgot what it's like to love or feel loved by anyone

[_Alfarooq_]

I forgot what it's like to love humans, I forgot what its like to feel any type of love, be it the love you would feel for your spouse/partner in a relationship, or the love that you have for your family members, your parents, your siblings, your relatives, and the love you feel for your friends and everyone else. I don't even have anyone that I would like to continue living for. I don't have anyone that I feel comfortable talking to about my problems. I'm living in a society where there is nothing but people who don't care about your existence, they make fun of you for everything you say and do, and no one loves me here at all. I don't know what to do. And when they hear about people who CTB they say "they will go to hell". These bastards don't know what its like to want to die, because since they are happy all the time, they view it as a crime. I would love it if I had someone I know who wants to CTB so that they can understand what I'm going through, because they know what it's like to suffer in a world of bastards like this.

 

[アホペンギン]

Yeah, after you haven't felt any love from anyone, you start to lose hope and forget what it feels like and I imagine that you really need to feel such a sensation again. I'm sorry for you. And you are very right about your statement on how this society doesn't care about us, they don't care about if whether they're alive or dead. I hope something good will happen to you, I send you my best regards and lots of strength. :)

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Yeah, after you haven't felt any love from anyone, you start to lose hope and forget what it feels like and I imagine that you really need to feel such a sensation again. I'm sorry for you. And you are very right about your statement on how this society doesn't care about us, they don't care about if whether they're alive or dead. I hope something good will happen to you, I send you my best regards and lots of strength. :)

Thanks alot. Have you lost love for people in general also? How are people treating you and do you have anyone you know that you feel comfortable speaking to?

Because for me...

NO ONE.

 

[dump224477]

there are many people who feel exactly like you, go out of your way and find them

 

[アホペンギン]

Thanks alot. Have you lost love for people in general also? How are people treating you and do you have anyone you know that you feel comfortable speaking to?

Because for me...

NO ONE.

I don't feel loved anymore as well, it hurts. The only place where I can feel somewhat loved is in this wonderful community. I have started to avoid people so I'm not sure how they would treat me but before I did so, they'd invalidate every opinion I had and invalidate my reasons for being suicidal. It was awful.

 

[Hollowman]

Same here, it sucks.

 

[foreverfalling]

Yes it feels the same to me. I don't believe love exists, and it is just a hand wavy word for whatever someone wants it to mean. My family care about me and look after me, but do I see it as love? In a way it is, but I also still feel lonely because I don't talk to them about anything. Can I tell them my deepest secrets like wanting to kill myself? No, there is no one to do that.

In terms of loving other people? No, I do give selflessly, but when I realize I'm not getting anything back in return, it does stop. With the opposite sex? It is only sexual desire. The truth is not romantic at all.

Love requires an innocence that is all so easily lost.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Yes it feels the same to me. I don't believe love exists, and it is just a hand wavy word for whatever someone wants it to mean. My family care about me and look after me, but do I see it as love? In a way it is, but I also still feel lonely because I don't talk to them about anything. Can I tell them my deepest secrets like wanting to kill myself? No, there is no one to do that.

In terms of loving other people? No, I do give selflessly, but when I realize I'm not getting anything back in return, it does stop. With the opposite sex? It is only sexual desire. The truth is not romantic at all.

Love requires an innocence that is all so easily lost.

I hate my parents for bringing me here in this rubbish world, with their selfish sexual desire that led to me existing here.