Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
I finally have the gun. It's a long ass gun, but I found it would actually be quite easy if I were sitting on a chair or something to point in my mouth and pull the trigger (if you want to use a long gun, look up Kurt Cobain long gun. You'll see a picture of him with a shotgun in his mouth, that's how I'm doing it). I tried it with the gun unloaded.
It's really weird to know that I have this tool that can kill me instantly. The next step is to take it to the gun range. Make sure the ammo, gun powder, and primer work well with it. After that, I'll unload it. Then all that's left is to write a suicide note and then the next time I'm at that point, I can just load the gun and shoot myself. (Don't feel comfortable leaving a lying loaded gun around). Hopefully it works... I really hope it works well and I don't have to make any extra preparations. I'll just follow some online tutorials to load it and unload it.
Man, I kind of wish I had this gun when I was a teenager and more impulsive. Now I overthink every decision I make and I got training on impulse control, so now it's actually harder for me to act on them than to overthink it if that makes sense lol. But until about 20 I was very impulsive. It's going to take an "impulse" to overcome my survival instinct enough to willingly put a loaded gun in my mouth and pull the trigger.
I'm not sure when I'll take the final leap. I know it's going to take some serious guts because I'll know once I pull the trigger, I'm dead. If I somehow survive, my life will have changed forever. I'm looking at being paralyzed or a vegetable. But even if I end up living a long life and never going through with this, it's just nice to know that at least I have this option. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe trying to shoot myself in the heart would be more lethal.
If you've made it to this point in the post, thanks for reading. I have many emotions right now and wanted to share with someone. I cannot share it with anyone in my life, not even that I got a gun, because they'll be suspicious and know what I'm planning to do. I knew you guys on here would be understanding.
P.S. This is a muzzeloader. People have committed suicide with muzzleloaders. I was not able to purchase a shotgun (my first choice). I live in the US. I was able to get the muzzeloader without any kind of background check, they just needed to make sure I am over 18. Then I got black powder pellets, ammo, and primer. They didn't even verify my age for that. I just rung it through the counter (and bought these on a separate occasion). So if you live in the US and cannot get a regular firearm, this might be a good choice for you. But also check your state laws. I can't remember the exact ones, but some states have restrictions on who can buy muzzleloaders.
https://ovalpike.com/death-of-harford-county-teen-leads-to-calls-for-change/
It's really weird to know that I have this tool that can kill me instantly. The next step is to take it to the gun range. Make sure the ammo, gun powder, and primer work well with it. After that, I'll unload it. Then all that's left is to write a suicide note and then the next time I'm at that point, I can just load the gun and shoot myself. (Don't feel comfortable leaving a lying loaded gun around). Hopefully it works... I really hope it works well and I don't have to make any extra preparations. I'll just follow some online tutorials to load it and unload it.
Man, I kind of wish I had this gun when I was a teenager and more impulsive. Now I overthink every decision I make and I got training on impulse control, so now it's actually harder for me to act on them than to overthink it if that makes sense lol. But until about 20 I was very impulsive. It's going to take an "impulse" to overcome my survival instinct enough to willingly put a loaded gun in my mouth and pull the trigger.
I'm not sure when I'll take the final leap. I know it's going to take some serious guts because I'll know once I pull the trigger, I'm dead. If I somehow survive, my life will have changed forever. I'm looking at being paralyzed or a vegetable. But even if I end up living a long life and never going through with this, it's just nice to know that at least I have this option. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe trying to shoot myself in the heart would be more lethal.
If you've made it to this point in the post, thanks for reading. I have many emotions right now and wanted to share with someone. I cannot share it with anyone in my life, not even that I got a gun, because they'll be suspicious and know what I'm planning to do. I knew you guys on here would be understanding.
P.S. This is a muzzeloader. People have committed suicide with muzzleloaders. I was not able to purchase a shotgun (my first choice). I live in the US. I was able to get the muzzeloader without any kind of background check, they just needed to make sure I am over 18. Then I got black powder pellets, ammo, and primer. They didn't even verify my age for that. I just rung it through the counter (and bought these on a separate occasion). So if you live in the US and cannot get a regular firearm, this might be a good choice for you. But also check your state laws. I can't remember the exact ones, but some states have restrictions on who can buy muzzleloaders.
https://ovalpike.com/death-of-harford-county-teen-leads-to-calls-for-change/
